The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
Quotes from the Book
As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.
I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.
I think life should be more like TV. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothing, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think?... Then again, if real life was like that, what would we watch on television?
But for my own example, I'd never believe one little kid could have so much brains!
My likely historical significance is a terrible burden. ~ Calvin
The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink COW milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, 'I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!'?
CALVIN: Hey, I got some mail! It's a Valentine card. HOBBES: From Susie Derkins! CALVIN: It says "Please be my Valentine." HOBBES: You're Susie's Valentine! CALVIN: I'm not her Valentine just because I got this in the mail, am I? Does the Post Master General know about this? HOBBES: Calvin and Susie, sitting in a tree-ee! Kay-eye-ess-ess-eye-en-gee! CALVIN: I don't have the KISS her, do I?! Is that what Valentines do??! Oh, gross! HOBBES: First comes lo-ove, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage! CALVIN: This can't be happening! I need a lawyer! She can't make me be her Valentine! HOBBES: Here she comes! Here comes Susie! SUSIE: Hi, Calvin. CALVIN: Get away from me! I'm not your Valentine! Take your card back! Eww! Girls! YECCHH! SUSIE: That card wasn't for YOU, you Moron. Didn't you read the back of the envelope? CALVIN: "Calvin, please give this to Hobbes." HOBBES?! HOBBES: Me? Really? Hot dog! Smooch City, here I come!
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The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat
Bruiser
The Gum Thief
Calvin and Hobbes
My Booky Wook
Infinite Jest
Ender's Shadow
The Killer Inside Me
Jailbird
Sloppy Firsts
Special Topics in Calamity Physics
Suspect
The Salmon of Doubt
Flowers for Algernon
Brain Droppings
Cat's Cradle
Breakfast of Champions
The Only Alien on the Planet
The Idiot
The Lightning Thief
Dearly Devoted Dexter
The Beginning of Everything
Barney's Version
Hogfather
King Dork
Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons
Life, the Universe and Everything
The Universe Versus Alex Woods
Dead Beat
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
Daddy-Long-Legs
Saga, Vol. 1
The Republic of Thieves
Hey Nostradamus!
Riding the Elephant: A Memoir of Altercations, Humiliations, Hallucinations, and Observations
A Fraction of the Whole
Bluebeard
The Manticore
The Importance of Being Earnest
Mosquitoland
The Golden Notebook
The Adventures of Augie March
Death Masks
Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!
Ender in Exile
Who Could That Be at This Hour?
The Adolescent
It
Fish in a Tree
Watchmen
Jasper Jones
That Hideous Strength
Sometimes a Great Notion
White Night
Dept. of Speculation
Mickey7
The Body
Toil & Trouble

