Then He Ate My Boy Entrancers

You make me laugh like a loon on loon tablets!

What if you were really meant to be with someone? But you kept messing about and having the Horn and so on and you lost them.

Gingee, Gingee, it's meeeeeeeeeeee!!!' I could hear her panting up the stairs to my room. She kicked open my bedroom door and ran from the door and leapt onto the bed, covering me with kisses. 'I LOBE you, my big big sister.' I couldn't get her off me. 'Libby, just let me...' 'Kissy kissy kiss, snoggy snog.' 'That's enough, now let me...' 'Mmmmmm, groovy baby.' What is she talking about? She is supposed to be in kindergarten to learn how to grow up, not turn into an even madder person. Then she stood up on the bed and starting thrusting her hips out and singing her favorite: 'Sex bum sex bum I am a sex bum.' Quite spectacularly mad.

There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do?" I said, "Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana.

Tom is back on a flight at 6:15 P.M. That is 6:15. Do you get it? Not 6:00 P.M. but 6:15 P.M. And do you know how many minutes that is? I do. I have also become a Time Lord.

You STUPID stupid girl. Honestly, you have done some stupid stupid things in your time, but this takes the biscuit of stupidity.

twenty minutes later, waiting for our luggage I haven't seen anyone who hasn't got a moustache yet. And frankly that is not attractive in a woman.

Who knows what goes on in my mind? I will be the last to know. Even

I had to rush back into my bedroom because Mum suddenly came out of the room to the kitchen and shouted up to me: "Georgia, I know you are at the top of the stairs. Come down – you have a visitor and your father wants to speak to you." My father? Wants to speak to me? I have a visitor? It's like Blithering Heights. If Masimo is dressed in tight breeches and wearing a cravat I will truly go mad.

english So much to say, so little time. Miss Wilson kept interrupting our chat with her so-called love of Shakespeare. For goodness’ sake. Hers is not the love that dares not speak its name, hers is the love that bangs on and on about Billy. It’s all “What ho, my lord” and “Oh look, here comes MacBeth talking total bollocks.

Dad says that Elvis Presley lived in Memphis and was a musician (not that you would know that from the crap songs that Dad sings). Anyway, he was a musician and Masimo is a musician, ergo Memphis must be somewhere that musicians hang out.

Better start planning my wardrobe for the Luuurve trail. What do the Hamburgese wear? Cowboy hats, I suppose.