The Wicked Will Rise

She had been both good and wicked and everything in between. She had been both at once, too, until it was hard for her to even tell the difference anymore.

You can’t just cover your eyes and pretend like terrible things aren’t happening simply because you can’t see them,

Faith: everyone knows it’s something you’re supposed to have, but it’s harder to put that into practice when your senses are telling you all hope is lost.

Evil will always catch up with you. That’s why you have to get to it first.

Look, fear’s not always rational, okay? Anyway, there’s a difference between being afraid and being a coward. At least there was one thing I could take comfort in: if you’re afraid, you must still be a little bit human.

Somewhere inside you, I hope you know who you are. I hope you know what you are. I hope you know that you're powerful. We need you.

The Wizard was from a place called America, and to him, a female ruler was a strange and unsettling notion.

That witch talks a big game, but she couldn’t be a bigger candy-ass if she dropped her pink little undies and sat on a pile of gumdrops.

You don't have to promise me the moon or the stars, just promise me you will stand under them with me.

Meet the new witch, same as the old bitch. We monkeys have dinged enough dongs to know.

But really what I mean by crappy is, like—you know—not very good at it. Like, if there were a Witch Mall, Glamora would work at Witch Neiman Marcus, Mombi would work at Witch Talbot’s and I would work at the Witch Dollar Store, where people would only come to buy witch paper towels, six rolls for ninety-nine cents.

It was like that old show This Is Your Life, except this version was called This Is Why You Suck.

The monkey village was like the world’s coolest tree house crossed with something out of a Swiss Family Robinson theme party thrown by Martha Stewart.

I knew, on some level, that what I was seeing was the real Oz. I had pulled back the curtain and stepped through it, but instead of finding a humbug wizard, I’d found the controls to the whole operation—and it turned out the whole operation was made out of what appeared to be magical silly string.

The despicable crone known as Mombi stands accused of high witchery, gross dishonesty, untold crimes against monkeys, outrageous trespassing, and general unpleasantness. Also, she is extremely unattractive. Miss Amy, do you speak for the witch?

Okay, so I was crying, too. Only a little bit. Even a wicked witch like me has a heart, you know?

Remember—don’t be wicked. Unless you really have to!” Parting

If I wanted a load of baloney, I would've had a cold cut platter brought it!" -Lulu

Yes I might have been quiet and shy, the kind of person who did my best to keep my head down just to get through the day. But even then, I had never let people walk all over me. Even in the days when I didn't know a left hook from a karate kick, I'd still always found my own ways of fighting for the things I believed in" -Amy

We all know that broad's about six stamps short of first class these days.

don't be wicked. Unless you really have to!

I had one weakness: kindness. And kindness is a weakness. I can see that now. But it's a weakness I'm still not sure I'd want to give up entirely.

It made such perfect sense that I felt stupid for not thinking of it earlier. Duh. You couldn’t find the Island of Lost Things until you had gotten yourself lost beyond any hope of finding. If I’d given up an hour, or a day ago, it would have appeared that much quicker. So much for quitters never win.

If you've never seen a rainbow burn, consider yourself lucky.

He took a step backward toward the door and held up his hands, looking as guilty and sheepish as someone who has just been caught shoplifting a Hostess Twinkie from the Piggly Wiggly.

If there's something to be involved in, you can be sure that witches will always be lurking nearby.

the formerly majestic towers and skyscrapers collapsing in on themselves in confetti-bursts of jewel and glass. It could have been beautiful, except for the dense, black mushroom cloud of smoke that hovered ominously over the skyline. I was a long-ass way from Kansas.

It’s funny how quickly you adjust to insanity.