James St. James · 287 pages
Rating: (6.8K votes)
“Funny, that no matter where you are in the world, there's always someone eager to help you destroy yourself.”
“If we're all going to hell in a handbasket, we might as well make it a party on the way down”
“I give you bitter pills, in a sugar coating. The pills are harmless - the poison's in the sugar”
“Watch out for the average--they're usually hiding something big.”
“People die all around us all the time. Drop like flies. Overdose. Aids. Sometimes they kill themselves. People come. They go. Dying is the same as rehab or moving back to Missouri. It just means I won't be seeing them again”
“and so it came to pass that i was strapped to a gurney and covered in raw liver and slabs of beef that very quickly turned rancid under the bright spotlights. there exists a videotape somewhere that documents me being wheeled about the dance floor by two burly "orderlies," while i desperately search for a bathroom big enough to accommodate the stretcher so i can do a bump of cocaine. watching me retch from the decomposing meat, and simultaneously fiend for drugs, makes for an entertaining time, indeed.
when i told my mother the extremes i went to in order to make a living, she just shook her head and said, "now don't you wish you'd finished college, dear?"
mothers are so wise, sometimes.”
“We didn't wish -- wishes are wasted...
We didn't hope -- because our future was inevitable...
And we didn't pray -- we were on our own.”
“When you let the wolves guard the hen house, there's bound to be a few chicken dinners.”
“No, Michael, I do not trust you on a boat, I do not trust you on a goat. I do not trust you here. I do not trust you there. I do not trust you anywhere.”
“It's a spooky thing to be left alone inside an angry innerverse.”
“And what do we have here? A scary monster, cowboy, and a fairy princess! Here's a hit of ecstasy, run along now.”
“So let's start at the very begining (a very good place to start...)”
“There are times when the world slips out of control. It's like an accident that is happening too quickly , and you can't stop it, you can't think about it, you have no choice but to lean back and watch as everything changes forever.”
“We're like two peas in a pod""Pity the pod”
“Just spinning around, lost in their own little world. Doing so much, accomplishing so little. How sad.”
“If letters had eyebrows, these would be arched.”
“I don’t know how you look at the inside of your head — what metaphor you choose — but for those of us with endless yawning stretches of interior and nothing but nothing to stop us from getting lost in it, drugs can be wonderfully helpful.”
“Every degree of power involves a corresponding degree of freedo from good and evil.”
“Why, oh why, must we always go through pigs to get our truffles?”
“Speaking from experience, there are people who have too much space between their ears, and given the time, do nothing but free fall forever inside their heads.”
“You always remember your first overdose.”
“Funny, that no matter where you are in the world, there’s always someone eager to help you destroy yourself. It”
“Death was easy. A piece of pie. That is the true horror.”
“But if familiarity breeds contempt, it also fosters a bond—”
“You see, I just love analogies. Give me a good old analogy any day.”
“How bloated we all are to think that our childhoods matter, that anybody really cares about our little lives.”
“Light bulbs up the ass, no big deal!" you say. "On a good night I can fit a Butterball and two sweet potatoes up my bum!"
Aye--But here's the rub:
How did these bulbs come to shine so brightly? They weren't plugged into an electrical socket...
An hour before her performance, Ida lay spread-eagle on the ground, and she had a helping hand (and how) slowly, carefully, millimeter by millimeter--INSERT A BATTERY PACK INTO HER UPPER INTESTINE.”
“Speaking from experince, there are people who have too much space between their ears, and given the time, do nothing but free fall forever inside their heads. It's a spooky thing to be left alone inside an angry inner-verse.
Drugs redirect the fall. They cushion it. Give you a parachute. Or maybe just a flashlight and scuba gear. I don't know how you look at the inside of your head-- what metaphor you choose-- but for those of us with endless yawning stretches of interior and nothing but nothing to stop us from getting lost in it, drugs can be wonderfully helpful.
For a time.”
“When I told my mother the extremes I went to in order to make a living, she just shook her head and said, "Now don't you wish you'd finished college, dear?"
Mother's are so wise, sometimes.”
“Drug addicts are so funny that way. Just spinning around, lost in their own little world. Doing so much, accomplishing so little.”
“When I'm out on a long run," she continued, "the only thing in life that matters is finishing the run. For once, my brain isn't going blehblehbleh all the time. Everything quiets down, and the only thing going on is pure flow. It's jus time and the movement and the motion.That's what love--just being a barbarian, running through the woods.”
“This was very exciting. I'd never had two boys get into a fight over me before. The fact that one of the boys was my stepbrother, however, and held about as much romantic appeal for me as Max, the family dog, somewhat dampened my enthusiasm. And Michael wasn't much of a catch, either, when you actually thought about it, being a potential murderer and all. Oh, why did I have to have such a couple of losers fighting over me? Why couldn't Matt Damon and Ben Affleck fight over me? Now that would be truly excellent.”
“My sister had blown out the candle in our breath.That meant our wishes were definitely going to come true”
“Oh, fuck the paperwork.” The words come from nowhere and on instinct I grab her and push her against the wall. Clasping both her hands, I pin them above her head so she can’t touch me, and once she’s secure, I twist my other hand in her hair while my lips seek and find hers.”
“Listen, listen!" I interrupted her. "Forgive me if I tell you something else.... I tell you what, I can't help coming here to-morrow, I am a dreamer; I have so little real life that I look upon such moments as this now, as so rare, that I cannot help going over such moments again in my dreams. I shall be dreaming of you all night, a whole week, a whole year. I shall certainly come here to-morrow, just here to this place, just at the same hour, and I shall be happy remembering today. This place is dear to me already. I have already two or three such places in Petersburg. I once shed tears over memories ... like you.... Who knows, perhaps you were weeping ten minutes ago over some memory.... But, forgive me, I have forgotten myself again; perhaps you have once been particularly happy here....”
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