The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
Quotes from the Book
Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
It's still magic even if you know how it's done.
There isn't a way things should be. There's just what happens, and what we do.
Even if it's not your fault, it's your responsibility.
Do you know what it feels like to be aware of every star, every blade of grass? Yes. You do. You call it 'opening your eyes again.' But you do it for a moment. We have done it for eternity. No sleep, no rest, just endless... endless experience, endless awareness. Of everything. All the time. How we envy you, envy you! Lucky humans, who can close your minds to the endless deeps of space! You have this thing you call... boredom? That is the rarest talent in the universe! We heard a song — it went 'Twinkle twinkle little star....' What power! What wondrous power! You can take a billion trillion tons of flaming matter, a furnace of unimaginable strength, and turn it into a little song for children! You build little worlds, little stories, little shells around your minds, and that keeps infinity at bay and allows you to wake up in the morning without screaming!
Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained.
Once we were blobs in the sea, and then fishes, and then lizards and rats and then monkeys, and hundreds of things in between. This hand was once a fin, this hand once had claws! In my human mouth I have the pointy teeth of a wolf and the chisel teeth of a rabbit and the grinding teeth of a cow! Our blood is as salty as the sea we used to live in! When we're frightened, the hair on our skin stands up, just like it did when we had fur. We are history! Everything we've ever been on the way to becoming us, we still are. [...] I'm made up of the memories of my parents and my grandparents, all my ancestors. They're in the way I look, in the colour of my hair. And I'm made up of everyone I've ever met who's changed the way I think.
Knowing things is magical, if other people don't know them.
There's always a story. It's all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything's got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.
First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. They’re rare, and often troublesome. Listening to them is part of witchcraft.
Always face what you fear. Have just enough money, never too much, and some string. Even if it’s not your fault, it’s your responsibility. Witches deal with things. Never stand between two mirrors. Never cackle. Do what you must do. Never lie, but you don’t always have to be honest. Never wish. Especially don’t wish upon a star, which is astronomically stupid. Open your eyes, and then open your eyes again.
Witches were a bit like cats. They didn’t much like one another’s company, but they did like to know where all the other witches were, just in case they needed them.
If you don't know when to be a human being, you don't know when to be a witch.
Learnin’ how not to do things is as hard as learning how to do them.
It’s quite easy to accidentally overhear people talking downstairs if you hold an upturned glass to the floorboards and accidentally put your ear to it.
I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man canna feel the chilly winds o' fate lashing aroound his netheres wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?
Witches were a bit like cats. They didn’t much like one another’s company but they did like to know where all the other witches were, just in case they needed them. And what you might need them for was to tell you, as a friend, that you were beginning to cackle.
It's always surprising to be reminded that while you're watching and thinking about people, all knowing and superior, they're watching and thinking about you, right back at you.
Now that’s what I call magic—seein’ all that, dealin’ with all that, and still goin’ on. It’s sittin’ up all night with some poor old man who’s leavin’ the world, taking away such pain as you can, comfortin’ their terror, seein’ ‘em safely on their way…and then cleanin’ ‘em up, layin’ ‘em out, making ‘em neat for the funeral, and helpin’ the weeping widow strip the bed and wash the sheets—which is, let me tell you, no errand for the fainthearted—and stayin’ up the next night to watch over the coffin before the funeral, and then going home and sitting down for five minutes before some shouting angry man comes bangin’ on your door ‘cuz his wife’s havin’ difficulty givin’ birth to their first child and the midwife’s at her wits’ end and then getting up and fetching your bag and going out again…We all do that, in our own way, and she does it better’n me, if I was to put my hand on my heart. That is the root and heart and soul and center of witchcraft, that is. The soul and center!
Tiffany has been apprenticing as a witch by visiting people in need with her mentor. After meeting with one particularly sad case, she tells her mentor, "It shouldn't be like this." Her mentor replies, "There isn't a way things should be. There's just what happens, and what we do.
AAaargwannawannaaaagongongonaargggaaaaBLOON!" which is the traditional sound of a very small child learning that with balloons, as with life itself, it is important to know when not to let go of the string. The whole point of balloons is to teach small children this.
This book had two authors, and they were both the same person.
It's an unfair world, Child. Be glad you have friends.
It’s a bad case o’ the thinkin’ he’s caught, missus. When a man starts messin’ wi’ the readin’ and the writin’ then he’ll come doon with a dose o’ the thinkin’ soon enough. I’ll fetch some o’ the lads and we’ll hold his heid under water until he stops doin’ it, ‘tis the only cure. It can kill a man, the thinkin’.
On the other hand the Nac Mac Feegle were always looking for a fight, in a cheerful sort of way, and when they had no one to fight they fought one another, and if one was all by himself he’d kick his own nose just to keep in practice.
Taint what a horse looks like, it’s what a horse be.
You couldn’t say: It’s not my fault. You couldn’t say: It’s not my responsibility. You could say: I will deal with this. You didn’t have to want to. But you had to do it.
It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad
Watch on YouTube
About Terry Pratchett
More by Terry Pratchett
All books by Terry Pratchett →Book details
- Author
- Terry Pratchett
- Genre
- Fiction
- Goodreads rating
- 4.33 (81k ratings) →
Keep reading
Shouldn't You Be in School?
Son of a Witch
I Shall Wear Midnight
A Wrinkle in Time
White Night
Chasing Fireflies: A Novel of Discovery
Different Seasons
Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World
Out of Oz
Equal Rites
The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making
The Handmaid's Tale
Boy's Life
The Golden Compass
A Sudden Light
Shouting at the Rain
Lords and Ladies
The Enchantress Returns
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
Something Wicked This Way Comes
The House in the Cerulean Sea
Holding Up the Universe
The Book of Koli
Unwind
The Sun Is Also a Star
The Name of the Wind
A Closed and Common Orbit
A Wind in the Door
Night Star
A Prayer for the Crown-Shy
Sometimes a Great Notion
Mostly Harmless
Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit
Turn Coat
A Madness of Angels
Turtles All the Way Down
My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry
The Girl Who Soared Over Fairyland and Cut the Moon in Two
Practical Magic
A Work in Progress
Just After Sunset
The Probability of Miracles
It
The Slippery Slope
The Enchanted
NOS4A2
The Wednesday Wars
Cat's Cradle
Making Faces
The Wishing Spell
Rogues
Under the Whispering Door
The Shadowglass
The Rent Collector
Lighthousekeeping
The Illustrated Man
Bruiser
All the King's Men
A Room with a View
Ship of Destiny

