Christopher Moore · 256 pages
Rating: (37.3K votes)
“If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“Slowly and gently, Augustus Brine explained to the king of the Djinn about the illusion created by motion pictures. When he finished, he felt like he had just raped the tooth fairy in front of a class of kindergartners.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“Rachel could not believe what she was hearing. Accepting that her magic worked was a huge step, yet she was speaking to the evidence. But to be offered the power to rule the world? She wasn't sure her career in exercise instruction had prepared her for this.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“In Breeze’s business one got used to running across the skeletons in people’s closets. If Billy’s skeleton wore women’s underwear, it didn’t really matter. Homosexuality on Billy Winston was like acne on a leper.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“Everyone at the bar turned toward The Breeze and waited, as if the next few words he spoke would reveal the true meaning of life, the winning numbers of the lottery, and the unlisted phone number of God.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“For the tourist, immersed in the oblivion of vacation spending, Cypress Street provided a bonanza of curious gifts to prove to the folks back home that they had been somewhere. Somewhere where they had obviously forgotten that soon they would return home to a mortgage, dental bills, and an American Express bill that would descend at the end of the month like a financial Angel of Death. And they bought. They bought effigies of”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“He had tapped into the Zen of ignorance, the enlightenment of absurdity.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“The garlic bread lay there between them, steaming with implications. They, of course, must both eat it or neither could. Garlic bread meant garlic breath. There might be a kiss later, maybe more. There was just too damn much intimacy in garlic bread.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“Creatures of the night were rising from their resting places and venturing forth to feed on their unsuspecting victims.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“To say that Effrom was not a particularly good cook was an understatement akin to saying that genocide is not a particularly effective public relations strategy.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“Die Behauptung, daß Effrom nicht besonders gut kochen konnte, war eine Untertreibung von ähnlichem Kaliber wie die Feststellung, daß es sich bei Völkermord um eine nicht besonders erfolgversprechende PR-Strategie handele.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“»Du hast Heiden vernichtet? Ich dachte, die Erdgeister seien wohlgesinnt.«
»Jeder hat mal Aussetzer.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“Das Leben war Handeln, es gab keinen Frieden diesseits des Grabes.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“»Das Prinzip Moral verstehe ich nicht.«
»Das überrascht mich nicht im geringsten.«”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
“doch ihre Gegenwart hatte in ihm stets das Gefühl ausgelöst, daß seine eheliche Treue lediglich eine absurde Wahnvorstellung war.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping
Christopher Moore
Born place: in Toledo, Ohio, The United States
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“As when astronaut Mike Mulhane was asked by a NASA psychiatrist what epitaph he'd like to have on his gravestone, Mulhane answered, "A loving husband and devoted father," though in reality, he jokes in "Riding Rockets," "I would have sold my wife and children into slavery for a ride into space.”
― Mary Roach, quote from Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void
“I found myself within a forest dark, for the straightfoward pathway had been lost. Ah me! How hard a thing is to say, what was this forest savage, rough, and stern, which in the very thought renews the fear. So bitter is it, death is little more...”
― Dante Alighieri, quote from La Divina Comedia
“Once one recognizes the value of having difficult obstacles to overcome, it is a simple matter to see the true benefit that can be gained from competitive sports. In tennis who is it that provides a person with the obstacles he needs in order to experience his highest limits? His opponent, of course! Then is your opponent a friend or an enemy? He is a friend to the extent that he does his best to make things difficult for you. Only by playing the role of your enemy does he become your true friend. Only by competing with you does he in fact cooperate! No one wants to stand around on the court waiting for the big wave. In this use of competition it is the duty of your opponent to create the greatest possible difficulties for you, just as it is yours to try to create obstacles for him. Only by doing this do you give each other the opportunity to find out to what heights each can rise.”
― W. Timothy Gallwey, quote from The Inner Game of Tennis: The Classic Guide to the Mental Side of Peak Performance
“Even the most motivated and intelligent student will advance more quickly under the tutelage of someone who knows the best order in which to learn things, who understands and can demonstrate the proper way to perform various skills, who can provide useful feedback, and who can devise practice activities designed to overcome particular weaknesses.”
― K. Anders Ericsson, quote from Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise
“Gloating sack of fictional cellular miss-firings.”
― Lucian Bane, quote from Seven Sons of Zion
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