Christopher Moore · 256 pages
Rating: (37.3K votes)
“If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.”
“I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.”
“I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry.”
“By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.”
“May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.”
“The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.”
“The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.”
“Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.”
“Slowly and gently, Augustus Brine explained to the king of the Djinn about the illusion created by motion pictures. When he finished, he felt like he had just raped the tooth fairy in front of a class of kindergartners.”
“One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.”
“Rachel could not believe what she was hearing. Accepting that her magic worked was a huge step, yet she was speaking to the evidence. But to be offered the power to rule the world? She wasn't sure her career in exercise instruction had prepared her for this.”
“Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.”
“In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime.”
“In Breeze’s business one got used to running across the skeletons in people’s closets. If Billy’s skeleton wore women’s underwear, it didn’t really matter. Homosexuality on Billy Winston was like acne on a leper.”
“Everyone at the bar turned toward The Breeze and waited, as if the next few words he spoke would reveal the true meaning of life, the winning numbers of the lottery, and the unlisted phone number of God.”
“For the tourist, immersed in the oblivion of vacation spending, Cypress Street provided a bonanza of curious gifts to prove to the folks back home that they had been somewhere. Somewhere where they had obviously forgotten that soon they would return home to a mortgage, dental bills, and an American Express bill that would descend at the end of the month like a financial Angel of Death. And they bought. They bought effigies of”
“He had tapped into the Zen of ignorance, the enlightenment of absurdity.”
“The garlic bread lay there between them, steaming with implications. They, of course, must both eat it or neither could. Garlic bread meant garlic breath. There might be a kiss later, maybe more. There was just too damn much intimacy in garlic bread.”
“Creatures of the night were rising from their resting places and venturing forth to feed on their unsuspecting victims.”
“To say that Effrom was not a particularly good cook was an understatement akin to saying that genocide is not a particularly effective public relations strategy.”
“Die Behauptung, daß Effrom nicht besonders gut kochen konnte, war eine Untertreibung von ähnlichem Kaliber wie die Feststellung, daß es sich bei Völkermord um eine nicht besonders erfolgversprechende PR-Strategie handele.”
“»Du hast Heiden vernichtet? Ich dachte, die Erdgeister seien wohlgesinnt.«
»Jeder hat mal Aussetzer.”
“Das Leben war Handeln, es gab keinen Frieden diesseits des Grabes.”
“»Das Prinzip Moral verstehe ich nicht.«
»Das überrascht mich nicht im geringsten.«”
“doch ihre Gegenwart hatte in ihm stets das Gefühl ausgelöst, daß seine eheliche Treue lediglich eine absurde Wahnvorstellung war.”
“Myrnin to Claire: "If anyone comes to bite you while I'm gone - well, try not to attract attention. Die quietly.”
“I believe there’s something you’ll need, Sentinel.” Ethan slid from his chair, dropped to one knee on the carpet. My mind had to race to keep up, but my heart pounded madly. Ethan looked up at me, grinned. “That thing, of course, is this.” He held up a small dessert fork. “You dropped your fork, Sentinel.” My blood pounded in my ears. I stood up, swatted his arms with slaps. “You are a jerk.” He roared with laughter. “Ah, Sentinel. The look on your face.” He doubled over with laughter. “Such terror.” I kept swatting. “At the thought of marrying you, you pretentious ass.” He roared again, then picked me up and carried me to the bed. “My pretentions are well earned, Sentinel.” “You have got to stop doing that.” “I can’t. It’s hilarious.” Only a man would think fake proposals were so funny.”
“Even with the head start, he was gaining fast. Given he liked jogging and I liked pie, this was to be expected.”
“Ova briga oko čuvanja i održanja novca liči, kao sestra sestri, na onu brigu u detinjstvu za grošem koji je stalno nedostajao, a ove muke štednje i tvrdičenja na muke nemaštine i oskudice. Šta vredi sve to? Šta vredi kad se, evo, posle tolikih napora i uzaludnih bežanja i uspona, čovek vraća na polaznu tačku, kad u njegove misli, samo drugim putem, ulazi ista pakost i grubost, i u njegove reči i postupke surovost i prostota; kad je, da bi se očuvalo ono što je stekao, potrebna ista ružna muka koja prati sirotinju. Ukratko: šta vredi imati.mnogo i biti nešto, kad čovek ne može da se oslobodi straha od sirotinje, ni niskosti u mislima, ni grubosti u rečima, ni nesigumosti u postupcima, kad gorka i neumitna a nevidljiva beda prati čoveka u stopu, a taj lepši, bolji i mirniji život izmiče se kao varljivo priviđenje.”
“There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart. Pursue those." - Michael Nolan”
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