Quotes from Practical Demonkeeping

Christopher Moore ·  256 pages

Rating: (37.3K votes)


“If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping



“The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“Slowly and gently, Augustus Brine explained to the king of the Djinn about the illusion created by motion pictures. When he finished, he felt like he had just raped the tooth fairy in front of a class of kindergartners.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping



“Rachel could not believe what she was hearing. Accepting that her magic worked was a huge step, yet she was speaking to the evidence. But to be offered the power to rule the world? She wasn't sure her career in exercise instruction had prepared her for this.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“In Breeze’s business one got used to running across the skeletons in people’s closets. If Billy’s skeleton wore women’s underwear, it didn’t really matter. Homosexuality on Billy Winston was like acne on a leper.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“Everyone at the bar turned toward The Breeze and waited, as if the next few words he spoke would reveal the true meaning of life, the winning numbers of the lottery, and the unlisted phone number of God.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping



“For the tourist, immersed in the oblivion of vacation spending, Cypress Street provided a bonanza of curious gifts to prove to the folks back home that they had been somewhere. Somewhere where they had obviously forgotten that soon they would return home to a mortgage, dental bills, and an American Express bill that would descend at the end of the month like a financial Angel of Death. And they bought. They bought effigies of”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“He had tapped into the Zen of ignorance, the enlightenment of absurdity.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“The garlic bread lay there between them, steaming with implications. They, of course, must both eat it or neither could. Garlic bread meant garlic breath. There might be a kiss later, maybe more. There was just too damn much intimacy in garlic bread.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“Creatures of the night were rising from their resting places and venturing forth to feed on their unsuspecting victims.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“To say that Effrom was not a particularly good cook was an understatement akin to saying that genocide is not a particularly effective public relations strategy.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping



“Die Behauptung, daß Effrom nicht besonders gut kochen konnte, war eine Untertreibung von ähnlichem Kaliber wie die Feststellung, daß es sich bei Völkermord um eine nicht besonders erfolgversprechende PR-Strategie handele.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“»Du hast Heiden vernichtet? Ich dachte, die Erdgeister seien wohlgesinnt.«
»Jeder hat mal Aussetzer.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“Das Leben war Handeln, es gab keinen Frieden diesseits des Grabes.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“»Das Prinzip Moral verstehe ich nicht.«
»Das überrascht mich nicht im geringsten.«”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping


“doch ihre Gegenwart hatte in ihm stets das Gefühl ausgelöst, daß seine eheliche Treue lediglich eine absurde Wahnvorstellung war.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Practical Demonkeeping



About the author

Christopher Moore
Born place: in Toledo, Ohio, The United States
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“I've seen that mixture of resignation and hopelessness before; its usually in my mirror.”
― Seanan McGuire, quote from A Local Habitation


“ئەگەر دڵی ئینسان لە عیشق یا نەفرەت لێوڕێژ نەبێ، دڵنیابە هیچ کارێ لەم جەهانەدا سەرناگرێ”
― Nikos Kazantzakis, quote from Christ Recrucified


“I may not know shit about shit, but I can tell you that when a girl goes running from a party with only a bottle of whiskey for company, something is most definitely bothering her. In my experience, that something usually has a cock attached to it.” Bear exhaled the smoke. “Well,”
― T.M. Frazier, quote from King


“A thousand times today I've started to open my mouth, started to squeak out, "Can you tell me...? But then I'd look into the front seat, at my mother's silent shaking, my father's grim profile, the mournful bags under his eyes, and all the questions I might ask seemed abusive. Assault and battery, a question mark used like a club. My parents are old and fragile. I'd have to heartless to want to hurt them.”
― Margaret Peterson Haddix, quote from Double Identity


“ساذكرك بما قاله لى افراد قبيلة الشوار فى عام 1990 ان العالم يمكن ان يكون كما تحلم به واننا يمكننا ان نستبدل بكابوس الصناعات الملوثة للبيئة والطرق السريعة المغلقة والمدن المفرطة الازدحام -حلما جديدا مبنيا على المحافظة على البيئة ومبادئ المسئولية الاجتماعية المعنية بالمساواة فى استطاعنتنا ان نغير انفسنا ونغير المسلمات المطروحة”
― John Perkins, quote from Confessions of an Economic Hit Man


Interesting books

Forest Born
(22.2K)
Forest Born
by Shannon Hale
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater
(47.9K)
God Bless You, Mr. R...
by Kurt Vonnegut
The Tender Bar
(26.2K)
The Tender Bar
by J.R. Moehringer
Vanish
(28.4K)
Vanish
by Sophie Jordan
Collide
(60.2K)
Collide
by Gail McHugh
The Lost Prince
(23.6K)
The Lost Prince
by Julie Kagawa

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.