The Rumpelstiltskin Problem

Once upon a time, before pizzerias or Taco Bells, there was a troll named Rumpelstiltskin who began to wonder what a human baby would taste like.

And it was Rumpelstiltskin who chose the name for Della's baby girl. He called her Abigail, which means "a father's joy.

Some things are just straw, and some things are gold, and sometimes you just have to know which is which.

Once upon a time, in the days before Social Security or insurance companies, there lived a miller and his daughter, Della, who were fairly well-off and reasonably happy until the day their mill burned down.

Some people," Rumpelstiltskin told the cats, "just aren't happy unless they aren't happy.

But even as he put his scaly arms out to take the baby, another scaly arm pulled back one of the tapestries, and out stepped—of all trolls—his own brother.

Why he wants this child he never says, and she never asks. Obviously the miller's daughter is no more a responsible parent than her father is, for she agrees to the bargain.

Still, along comes a little man who, by happy coincidence, knows how to do what everyone wants.