Quotes from The Midnight Mayor

“When last I checked, you were a sorcerer, not a Jedi."
"You've seen Star Wars?"
"Seen it and denounced it."
"You've denounced Star Wars?"
She looked me straight in the eye and said, "Hollywood should not glorify witches."
"I think you've missed the point..."
"I also denounce Harry Potter."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Because..."
"...because literature, especially children's literature, should not glorify witches."
"Oda, what do you do for fun?"
She thought about it, then said, without a jot of humor, "I denounce things.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“He glanced up as I entered, and for a moment, looked almost surprised.
"Mr. Swift!"
"Ta-da!" I exclaimed weakly.
"You're still..."
"Still not dead. That's me. It's my big party trick, still not being dead, gets them every time.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“Curiosity may have killed the cat, but paranoia was what tied it up in a sack and buried it in wet concrete.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“Men don't ask other men if they're getting home OK, they just assume that beneath the frail, weak exterior lurks a muscle-building kung fu master fearless of ever being mugged.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“Paranoia seems more reasonable when you've got twelve stitches in your side.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“We were beginning to understand why, in pre-anaesthetic days, the Bible had stipulated that suicide was a sin. Anything other than the prospect of eternal damnation, and the human race would probably have done away with itself at the first sign of the dentist.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“Someone says 'inauguration' in my line of work, and you can just bet there'll be freaky shit. It's like quests. You get told to 'go forth and seek the travelcard of destiny' and you know, I mean, you seriously know that it won't have just been left down the back of the sofa.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“I was the apprentice of Robert James Bakker. I'm sure you've heard of him. I am a sorcerer. I was there when Bakker died. We... made it happen. I too have met death, and did not have to peel the bones away from my chest to survive the encounter. I am also, and incidentally, the Midnight Mayor, the blue electric angels, the fire in the wire, the song in the telephones, and we are having a bad week. Be smart; fear us.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“We ran, as graceful as a burst beetroot.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“I got dressed. You can't be Midnight Mayor in your underpants.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“Whoever had said in the guidebooks that the bum bag was a sensible device against theft had lied; no single item of dressware ever invented cried out "mug me" more than a pouch of zip-up plastic suspended by your groin.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“Always be polite to possible murderers: that was the twenty-four-hour-shopping philosophy.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“I looked at Judith. "This sounds strange, but I don't suppose you saw three mad women with a cauldron of boiling tea pass by this way?"
"No," she replied. The polite voice of reasonable people scared of exciting the madman.
"Flash of light? Puff of smoke? Erm..." I tried to find a polite way of describing the symptoms of spontaneous teleportation without using the dreaded "teleportation" word. I failed. I slumped back into the sand. What kind of mystic kept a spatial vortex at the bottom of their cauldrons of tea anyway?”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“There was almost a flicker of humanity in the man. The kind of human who pulled wings off flies as a kid, but still human.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“The armored men counted to three, then burst inside the flat, shouting impressive things like "clear!" or "go go go!" as they did. Oda said, "Gum?"
"You chew gum?"
"No. but I always carry it, to use as barter when visiting prisons."
"Do you see how I'm not asking you?"
"Smart.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“The majority of the employees here are civilians," explained my Alderman guide/protector/companion/would-be-executioner as we strode without a word to the security guards through the foyer towards the lifts. "They conduct themselves within perfectly standard financial services and regulations. There is one specialist suboperational department catering to the financing of more...unusual extra-capital ventures, and the executive assets who operate it have to undergo a rigorous level of training, psyche evaluation, personality assessment, and team operational analyses."
We stared at him, and said, "We barely understood the little words."
"No," he replied, "I didn't think you would.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“But it's not healthy!” replied the Hag. “A mortal and a god sharing the same flesh?”
“You know, this isn't why we're here. I can get abuse pretty much wherever.”
“Yeah,” sighed the Maid, “but I bet a tenner I can make you cry in half a minute.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“You've seen Star Wars?'
'Seen it and denounced it.'
'You've denounced Star Wars?'
She looked me straight in the eye and said, 'Hollywood should not glorify witches.'
'I think you've missed the point...'
'I also denounced Harry Potter.'
'Really?'
'Yes.'
'Because...'
'...because literature, especially children's literature, should not glorify witches.'
'Oda, what do you do for fun?'
She thought about it, then said, without a jot of humour, 'I denounce things.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“The whole calamity would be in one of those police reports that D. B. Sinclair and his "concerned citizens" filed carefully under "T" for "Things" at the back of a locked filing cabinet in the vehicle-licensing centre a day before a bonfire got accidentally out of control.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“Never argue with the surreal; there’s no winning against irrationality.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“We burn because of the beauty in the burning, because life is precious, extraordinary, and we would live as if we were on fire with the brightness of it.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“Even if you’ve no idea where you’re going, you have to look like you do. It’s what keeps the locals different from the strangers.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“You read—seen—Lord of the Rings?” “Yessss…” “Ever wondered why they didn’t just get the damn eagles to go drop the One Ring into the volcano, since they seemed so damn nifty at getting into Mordor anyway?”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“I like walking. Each step is a thought without words, a thought without words is a thought without blame, without retribution, without consequence.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“Coincidence is usually mentioned only when something good happens. Whenever it’s something bad, it’s easier to blame someone, something.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“The mind forgets pain, the physical sensation of pain. It doesn’t forget terror.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

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“Subject: Some boat
Alex,
I know Fox Mulder. My mom watched The X-Files. She says it was because she liked the creepy store lines. I think she liked David Duchovny. She tried Californication, but I don't think her heart was in it. I think she was just sticking it to my grandmother, who has decided it's the work of the devil. She says that about most current music,too, but God help anyone who gets between her and American Idol.

The fuzzy whale was very nice, it a little hard to identify. The profile of the guy between you and the whale in the third pic was very familiar, if a little fuzzy. I won't ask. No,no. I have to ask.

I won't ask.

My mother loves his wife's suits.

I Googled. There are sharks off the coast of the Vineyard. Great big white ones. I believe you about the turtle. Did I mention that there are sharks there? I go to Surf City for a week every summer with my cousins. I eat too much ice cream. I play miniature golf-badly. I don't complain about sand in my hot dog buns or sheets. I even spend enough time on the beach to get sand in more uncomfortable places. I do not swim. I mean, I could if I wanted to but I figure that if we were meant to share the water with sharks, we would have a few extra rows of teeth, too.

I'll save you some cannoli.
-Ella

Subject: Shh
Fiorella,
Yes,Fiorella. I looked it up. It means Flower. Which, when paired with MArino, means Flower of the Sea. What shark would dare to touch you?

I won't touch the uncomfortable sand mention, hard as it is to resist. I also will not think of you in a bikini (Note to self: Do not think of Ella in a bikini under any circumstanes. Note from self: Are you f-ing kidding me?).

Okay.

Two pieces of info for you. One: Our host has an excellent wine cellar and my mother is European. Meaning she doesn't begrudge me the occasional glass. Or four.

Two: Our hostess says to thank yur mother very much. Most people say nasty things about her suits.
Three: We have a house kinda near Surf City. Maybe I'll be there when your there.

You'd better burn this after reading.
-Alexai

Subect: Happy Thanksgiving
Alexei,
Consider it burned. Don't worry. I'm not showing your e-mails to anybody. Matter of national security, of course.
Well,I got to sit at the adult table. In between my great-great-aunt Jo, who is ninety-three and deaf, and her daughter, JoJo, who had to repeat everyone's conversations across me. Loudly. The food was great,even my uncle Ricky's cranberry lasagna. In fact, it would have been a perfectly good TG if the Eagles han't been playing the Jets.My cousin Joey (other side of the family) lives in Hoboken. His sister married a Philly guy. It started out as a lively across-the-table debate: Jets v. Iggles. It ended up with Joey flinging himself across the table at his brother-in-law and my grandmother saying loud prayers to Saint Bridget. At least I think it was Saint Bridget. Hard to tell. She was speaking Italian.
She caught me trying to freeze a half-dozen cannoli. She yelled at me. Apparently, the shells get really soggy when they defrost. I guess you'll have to come have a fresh one when you get back.
-F/E”
― Melissa Jensen, quote from The Fine Art of Truth or Dare

“If any one teacher ever attempted to tell any one student everything he thought he knew, both would die of boredom and exhaustion, under the weight of so much useless information.”
― Kyle Timmermeyer, quote from Reintroduction

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