The Italian Girl

Odd I should have said those words before and forgotten them. It makes one feel that human beings are just machines after all.

And do stop sneezing. It annoys me so much when people sneeze.

I can see this so clearly because I have long ago given up my own hopes of being happy.

She tells so many different stories and they are all false.

Why did I lie. Well, why should I tell the truth, such a truth, to anyone who asks? Why should I wear such a story always round my neck and be such a figure to the world? And oh, there were worse things, worse than she said. I did not want to be a tragic man, to be the suffering one. I wanted to be light, to be new, to be free–

Can you see that cat?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ ‘Well, until lately I couldn’t have seen it at all. Now it exists, it’s there, and while it’s there I’m not, I just see it and let it be. Do you remember that bit in the Ancient Mariner where he sees the water snakes? “Oh happy living things, no tongue their beauty might declare!” That’s what it’s like, suddenly to be able to see the world and to love it, to be let out of oneself –

To be good is just never to lose it. How does evil begin in a life? How can it begin? Yet we were there once.

You know as well as I do that one can be imprisoned in one’s mind.

I think Otto will be rather relieved to be certain that you know. He doesn't enjoy deception." I choose the words carefully. "He hasn't the least objection to deception. He just doesn't like the process of being found out. It's bad for his nerves

But you are metaphysical, Otto. You ought to think about her in more simple terms.

Every night is an imitation of death. Without that I would have killed myself long ago.’ She

Not everyone can have that thing, freedom, and not be ruined by it.