“In this trunk," she says with a serious face, "is God's gift to women."
"Chocolate?"
"No."
"Midol?"
"What? No."
"Tampons?"
"Stop guessing," she says.”
“Annabelle laughs. "Oh, so you think you're hot, do you?"
"Girl, I got swag for days.”
“How can someone be cruel
to this chick? It’s like picking a
fight with a chipmunk.”
“I'll never understand the friendships Charlie has. Friendships where it doesn't take cash or hookups, or saying the right things to stay in the circle. No, Charlie's friendships are different. She tries to protect her people, and they in turn protect her. They accept each other's imperfections and support one another. My friends weren't like her friends, which makes me wonder if I ever had any at all.”
“I glance in the mirror. Surprise,
surprise—I look finger-lickin’
delicious.”
“Because I see you. Even though you try so hard to hide, I see you, anyway.”
“There's the guy who trained me, you sexy son-of-a-bitch. I knew you could do this. I told the assistant, I said, 'Do you even know who you're dealing with here? Pfft. Pfft.'"
"You definitely didn't say that."
"Nope. I sure as hell didn't...”
“Apparently Big Guy has become the new Voldemort, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”
“My eyes widen at
the sight of her. This is the girl
Boss Man is after? She looks like a
porcelain doll…beat three times
with an ugly stick.”
“Dante, this
is Annabelle.”
No. No way. That name is
reserved for females with grace
and elegance, not this girl. This girl
is…beastly. “Annabelle,” I say.
“It suits you.”
“She raises her hands and places them on either side of my face. My skin burns beneath her touch. 'I think you're beautiful.'
I smile, thinking she's done. But she releases my face and places her palms on my chest, directly over my heart.
'You're beautiful right here,' she says.
I close my eyes, and the breath rushes from my lungs.
'I see the good in you, Dante,' Charlie continues, her words rolling together off her tongue. 'Even if you don't, I do. You have a good heart. You know how I know?'
I open my eyes. She's looking at me like nothing else in the world exists. Like the entire planet and all of mankind just vanished. She slowly wraps my hands inside her own as best she can and places them on her chest. 'Because I feel it here.' She taps our hands against her chest. 'I know you're good, Dante. Because I feel it inside of me.”
“Big surprise. You didn't dress up."
"I came as Awesome Sauce," I say. "You probably wouldn't recognize it.”
“Mr. Awkward rolls up between us, lights a cigarette, makes himself comfortable. It’s the same bastard who shows up after you’ve bumped uglies with a stranger.”
“At the end of the walkway is a cat. It struts with arrogance. You'd think it just won the Nobel Prize. But it didn't. Know why? Because it's a freakin' cat. In case you mossed the memo, I. Hate. Cats. I loathe them. They're built with creepy little teeth and finger blades. I don't know about you, but I'll pass on that freak show.”
“Max is going through my overnight bag when I get back to Wink Hotel. My favorite part about this is that he doesn't stop when I walk in the room.
"Hey," he says. He pulls out my black Hugo Boss dress hirt, then holds it up to his nose and sniffs loudly.
"Dude. Stop." I pull the shirt from his hands and toss it on the bed.
"I just love your scent," he says in a chick voice.
"You and everyone else, my friend.”
“I wonder what it would feel like to laugh like that, with complete abandon.”
“And the band—oh, sweet mercy—the band. They're like a cross between mini Justin Biebers and the Jonas Brothers, and the Halloween covers they're playing make my ears bleed.”
“I will protect this girl with everything I have, because if something happens to her, I will lose myself. I will cease to exist.
And I will take everyone with me.”
“As Charlie is leaving the house, she somehow trips on the threshold and nearly face-plants onto the ground. I roll my eyes. How is it possible out of all the people in this world, this is the soul I’ve come to collect?”
“I spin around and see Max running toward me in a gray Armani shirt. "Dante. Oh, Dante. Seal me! Seal me so hard!" He grabs my hips and pumps his toward mine. "Oh, Dante! You're so hot when you seal souls!"
I shove my idiot-of-a-best-friend off me and laugh.”
“I throw my head back and laugh long and hard. Then I lean in and whisper in her ear, "You don't know who you're fucking with, princess. Ain't no one do bad like I do.”
“Her wavy hair falls to mid-waist, and I think how she looks better this way. From the back.”
“You’re beautiful. If you believe it, they’ll believe it.”
“Sure you do. Everyone wants to play. They’re just afraid of looking stupid. But you know what’s stupid? Not trying. So just…try.”
“We girls are prewired to like things that make you suffer.”
“This morning, I'm relishing the perks of working for the Underworld. I press my foot down on the accelerator, and the deep rumble of my candy apple-red Escalade growls. My new baby girl has black leather, Bose surround sound, and twenty-two inch rimes. Match.com couldn't have created a happier couple.”
“My lips move against hers, and the kiss says everything I'd hoped to hear. It tells me she loves me, and that she's in this forever.”
“You nasty, you nasty. You
mama said you nasty!”
“Is this happening?” I’m
surprised to hear my own voice
and decide right then and there
that I have a positively perfect
Man Voice.”
“dairy intake is “one of the most consistent dietary predictors for prostate cancer in the published literature,” and those who consume the most dairy have double to quadruple the risk.”
“Some day, Prince Kheldar, you will fall in love," the queen said with a little smirk, "and the twelve kingdoms will stand around and chortle over the fall of so notorious a bachelor.”
“When I'm done sorting out the Unit, Alex and I are going to have a little chat"
"Over my dead body"
"I'm thinking over his dead body.”
“I am convinced that God is love, this thought has for me a primitive lyrical validity. When it is present to me, I am unspeakably blissful, when it is absent, I long for it more vehemently than does the lover for his object.”
“The other girl was fifteen, and she was expecting”
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