“I love making, I love doing. I love being to the full, I love everything which is not sitting and watching and copying and dead at heart.”
“I think we are just insects, we live a bit and then die and that’s the lot. There’s no mercy in things. There’s not even a Great Beyond. There’s nothing.”
“I hate the uneducated and the ignorant. I hate the pompous and the phoney. I hate the jealous and the resentful. I hate the crabbed and mean and the petty. I hate all ordinary dull little people who aren't ashamed of being dull and little.”
“We all want things we can't have. Being a decent human being is accepting that.”
“It's despair at the lack of feeling, of love, of reason in the world. It's despair that anyone can even contemplate the idea of dropping a bomb or ordering that it should be dropped. It's despair that so few of us care. It's despair that there's so much brutality and callousness in the world. It's despair that perfectly normal young men can be made vicious and evil because they've won a lot of money. And then do what you've done to me.”
“When you draw something it lives and when you photograph it it dies”
“Forgetting’s not something you do, it happens to you. Only it didn’t happen to me.”
“The power of women! I've never felt so full of mysterious power. Men are a joke.
We're so weak physically, so helpless with things. Still, even today. But we're stronger than they are. We can stand their cruelty. They can't stand ours.”
“I just think of things as beautiful or not. Can't you understand? I don't think of good or bad. Just of beautiful or ugly. I think a lot of nice things are ugly and a lot of nasty things are beautiful.”
“The ordinary man is the curse of civilization.”
“They're beautiful. But sad.'
Everything's sad if you make it so, I said.”
“You must make, always. You must act, if you believe something. Talking about acting is like boasting about pictures you're going to paint. The most terrible bad form.”
“Just those three words, said and meant. I love you.
They were quite hopeless. He said it as he might have said, I have cancer.
His fairy story.”
“He is solid; immovable, iron-willed. He showed me one day his killing bottle. I'm imprisoned in it. Fluttering against the glass. Because I can see through it I still think I can escape. I have hope. But it's all an illusion.
A thick round wall of glass.”
“I am one in a row of specimens. It's when I try to flutter out of line that he hates me. I'm meant to be dead, pinned, always the same, always beautiful. He knows that part of my beauty is being alive. but it's the dead me he wants. He wants me living-but-dead.”
“Art's cruel. You can get away with murder with words. But a picture is like a window straight through to your inmost heart.”
“It is me. I am his madness. For years he's been looking for something to put his madness into. And he found me.”
“I must fight with my weapons. Not his. Not selfishness and brutality and shame and resentment.”
“I mean I never feel I feel what I ought to feel.”
“You put up with your voice and speak with it because you haven't any choice. But it's what you say that counts.”
“The sky is absolutely empty. Beautifully pure and empty.
As if the architects and builders would live in all the houses they built! Or could live in them all. It's obvious, it stares you in the fact. There must be a God and he can't know anything about us.”
“Do you know that every great thing in the history of art and every beautiful thing in life is actually what you call nasty or has been caused by feelings that you would call nasty? By passion, by love, by hatred, by truth. Do you know that?”
“I have a strange illusion quite often. I think I've become deaf. I have to make a little noise to prove I'm not. I clear my throat to show myself that everything is normal. It's like the little Japanese girl they found in the ruins of Hiroshima. Everything dead; and she was singing to her doll.”
“The power of women! I've never felt so full of mysterious power. Men are a joke.”
“8. You hate the political buisness of nationality. You hate everything, in politics and art and everything else, that is not genuine and deep and necessary. You don't have time for silly trivial things. You live seriously. You don't go to silly films, even if you want to; you don't read cheap newspapers; you don't listen to trash on the wireless and the telly; you don't waste time talking about nothing. You use your life.”
“People who teach you cram old ideas, old views, old ways, into you. Like covering plants with layer after layer of old earth; it's no wonder the poor things so rarely come up fresh and green.”
“Piers is always going on about how he hated Stowe. As if that solves everything, as if to hate something means it can't have affected you. ”
“It’s rather like your voice. You put up with your voice and speak with it because you haven’t any choice. But it’s what you say that counts. It’s what distinguishes all great art from the other kind.”
“He's not human; he's an empty space disguised as a human.”
“O zamana değin, çocukken insana sonsuz gibi görünen bir yolda yılların yavaş yavaş ve hafifçe geçtiği, böylece hiç kimsenin akıp gittiklerinin ayırdına varmadığı bir yolda, hep ilk gençliğinin kaygısızlığıyla ilerlemişti, insan bu yolda, sakin sakin, çevresine merakla bakarak ilerlerdi, aceleye gerçekten hiç gerek yoktu, ne arkanızda sizi sıkıştıran ne de tabii, bekleyen birileri bulunurdu, arkadaşlarınız da kaygısız, oynamak için sık sık durarak ilerlerlerdi. Evlerinin kapısından büyükler size dostça selam verir ve suç ortaklığı dolu gülüşlerle ufku gösterirlerdi; böylece yürek yiğitçe ve tatlı arzularla çarpmaya başlar ve insan kendisini az ötede bekleyen harikulade şeylerin umudunu tadar; gerçi o şeyler henüz uzaktadır ama bir gün onlara ulaşılacağı kesin, tartışmasız bir biçimde kesindir. Daha çok yol var mıdır? Yoo, şu ilerideki nehri geçmek, şu yeşil tepeleri aşmak yeterlidir. Belki de varmışızdır bile. Şu ağaçlar, kırlar, şu beyaz ev belki de bizim aradığımız şeylerdir. Bir an, bunun doğru olduğuna inanıp, orada durmak isteriz. Sonra, kulağımıza ileride daha iyisinin olduğu çalınır ve tasasız bir biçimde yeniden yola koyuluruz. İnsan, böylelikle, umut dolu, kendi yolunda gider durur; günler uzun ve sakindir, güneş yukarıda gökyüzünde parlamakta ve akşam bastığında üzülerek yok olmaya yüz tutmaktadır. Ama bir noktada, belki de içgüdüsel olarak, insan geri döner ve arkasında bir kapının kapanarak dönüşü olanaksız kıldığım fark eder. İşte o zaman bir şeylerin değişmiş olduğunun ayırdına varırız, güneş eskisi gibi kıpırtısız değildir, hızla hareket etmektedir; ne yazık ki, henüz bakmaya bile fırsat bulamadan, onun ufkun ucuna doğru hızla kaydığını, bulutların da gökyüzündeki mavi koylarda hareketsiz durmadığını, birbirlerinin üzerine çıkarak kaçtıklarını, iyice acele ettiklerini görürüz; zamanın geçtiğini ve günü gelince yolun zorunlu olarak son bulacağını anlarız. Belirli bir zamanda, arkamızda bir kapı kapanır, kapanır ve bir şimşek hızıyla kilitlenir; geri dönecek zaman kalmamıştır.”
“As I passed through the gates, the blistered hands of nostalgia gave my heart a good squeeze and I realized you miss shit times as well as good times, because at the end of the day what you're really missing is just time itself. ”
“It was all a matter of control. And Choice.
Nothing more, nothing less”
“Oh, we’re well past you being just a date, my beauty.” He leaned in, his lips at my ear. “When we fucked in my bed you passed into uncharted territory – trust me on that one.”
“I found out early that you can throw yourself away, missing what you've lost.”
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