The Chaos of Longing

it took time to realize that i have to stop giving myself away as if i didn’t belong to myself.

there’s a universe swirling inside you. you have to learn to be your own earth, wind, fire and water. you are a natural phenomenon— not a natural disaster.

unrequited love is like kneeling on uncooked rice and waiting for the boiling water of his kisses to soften the pain but he never comes.

our foundation is rocky because we made a home in each other’s skin. the damage is beginning to show.

love ridden i searched for you in corridors, open doors and in endless seas of similes and metaphors but we never were on the same page.

don’t shrink your truth to make it fit nice and neatly in others as if it’s origami. unfold and free yourself.

they say that patience is a virtue but they never tell you that the heat of waiting will burn you if you linger too long.

i am good at holding onto nothing like it’s all i have and running away from something like it’s the plague. i

i knew his heart was yours but i wanted to become an alchemist to make gold of the pieces i received because all i ever felt was the dark side of his leaded heart.

tears swell in the wells of my eyes. love is a constant side effect of mine.

i chiseled away parts of myself trying to be everything to you until it could no longer be rendered as art.

darling, find passion and self-worth within instead of locking them inside of men who like swallowing keys so they can keep you all to themselves.

her grass seemed greener until a drought came and cracked the earth beneath you.

the galaxy is yours star your own sky. drink the shooting stars. lasso the moon. take a bite. feel the juice of self-love running down your chin and laugh madly. you’re still alive. you’re still alive. you’re still alive.

it’s time to give the love you denied yourself but frantically searched for in others. it’s time to realize that love was never trapped underneath their lips and fingertips. you held it hostage the entire time.

i’ve learned to kiss you with my eyes. there are times you do not see me as i kiss you with a quiet desperation that you would never understand.

your eclipsed heart will wail for my stars until you realize you need my cosmic grace.                   chaos

she’s a starry night sky.

your skin is dark as the velvet night. your starred eyes are tenants in constellations. even the moon swells whenever you’re near. all

i would lasso the sun and sell her rays for profit so you wouldn’t be blinded by her anymore. i would eat all the stars just for you to see the light in my eyes. i would bounce my love off rainclouds just to soften your calcified heart.

glitter flows through my veins and the stars in my eyes dilate and burst into delusions.

the art of letting you go hasn’t been a graceful one.

you are a natural phenomenon— not a natural disaster.

To be honest, I don’t know who I was before but I must do the work to find out

i thought our hues were created to fuse into one another,

entrails i already know how to set your body on fire and watch the trail of ashes smolder but i want to learn how to find a place in your heart.

if he looks into her eyes when they make love or takes her behind like he does you. if he holds her closer than a secret but never hides her behind closed doors.

i search for water in your mouth, fire in your eyes, earth on your body and wind when you whisper in my ear.

you ruptured the love lakes of my longing and scattered the continents of my heart.

it took time to realize that I must stop giving myself away as if I didn't belong to myself.