Police at the Station and They Don't Look Friendly

A bullet in the head will fix an incipient asthma attack every time.

If you really have to get shot, Belfast is one of the best places to do it. After twenty years of the Troubles, and after thousands of assassination attempts and punishment shootings, Belfast has trained many of the best gunshot-trauma surgeons in the world.

You're a glass-half-empty kind of guy, sir, aren't you?" "I don't even acknowledge the existence of the glass, son.

Nelson had a face like Brian Clough getting sodomised with a pineapple.

A paranoid man is a man who knows a little about what’s going on.

Don’t trust whitey and whitey is fucking everywhere. We walked

squirrel is in a pine tree, when all of a sudden, it starts shaking. He looks down, and sees an elephant climbing the tree. ‘What are you doing? Why are you climbing my tree?’ the squirrel calls down to the elephant. ‘I’m coming up there to eat some pears!’ the elephant responds. ‘You fool! This is a pine tree! There aren’t any pears up here!’ The elephant looks perplexed for a moment, and then says, ‘Well, I brought my own pears.

Life’s tough and even tougher when you’re stupid,

To quote Bugs Bunny, it’s mongoose season, and you’re the fucking mongoose.

Age hasn’t matured you. It’s made those traits that were ticks in the twenty-five-year-old into full-blown affectations in the thirty-eight-year-old.

I’d met spooks and blades and they lied like they had invented the concept.

sallow-faced, balding, heavy lidded, Uriah Heep of a man, Kevin

As the Russians say, getting what you want sometimes requires moving like the knight in chess: forward and to the left.