Islands of Decolonial Love: Stories & Songs

there are a couple of problems with being twenty-two but you don't know about them yet, because you can only find out about the problems sometime after you are no longer twenty-two. anyway, one of the problems with being twenty-two is you start to get afraid that maybe you're horrible at everything, mostly because you're not really good at anything yet, so you decide to stay the course with biology until a sign appears, even though being stoned drunk all the time doesn't register as a sign.

she never asked for recognition, because she wasn't doing it to be recognized. she did it because it filled her up. she just carefully planted those seeds. she just kept picking up those pieces. she just kept visiting those old ones. she just kept speaking her language and sitting with her mother. she just kept on lighting that seventh fire every time it went out. she just kept making things a little bit better, until they were.

The skillset you need to survive is not the same skillset you need to love and be loved

broad leaves are born we relearn fragile green waves of wind light harvested into food sun making breath river washing land lake suffocating ice trees bleeding sweet i’ve only ever seen you hitchhiking into dreams or running from the headlights but today here you are just sleeping. sitting. eating hours of still armfuls of nothing.

i knew you were going to try and kill yourself before you did it. i knew because before all this happened you were the only person my seven-year-old nephew with asperger's ever let hug him. you were eighteen and you were just shining, your even brown skin competing with the bright blue sky for my attention. god, you were perfect. i was in love with the idea that finally we had given birth to a generation that didn't have to spend their adult lives recovering from their childhoods. you weren't going to drown yourself in anything, you were just going to smile and fight in some mythological honourable way we'd all only imagined. then i found out your mama was about to die and every time you looked me in the eye i wanted to cry, because i knew there was a diagnosed train wreck coming your way and i didn't know how someone so perfect could survive.

When you're raising someone to survive a war that the other side invests millions convincing people it doesn't exist you raise your army to be tough. You teach them not to make a big fuss. You teach them not to feel. If you waste your time feeling you're not going to be ready and in the ring for the next blow. You're going to be crying and feeling sorry for yourself in the corner and you're not going to see them coming, because that's the lesson you never see them coming.