Zlatan Ibrahimović · 347 pages
Rating: (9.6K votes)
“At Balkan, it was more like, ‘I’ll do your mum up the arse.’ They were mental Yugoslavs who smoked like chimneys and flung their boots about, and I thought, Great, just like at home.”
“I like being around warriors, and Mihajlović was a bruiser. He always did everything to win.”
“What was relegation into the second division, when my Dad had just become my biggest fan?”
“Först gick jag vänster och det gjorde han också. Sen gick jag höger och det gjorde han också. Sen stack jag vänster, och då gick han och köpte korv.”
“When I got home to Piazza Castello, everything was swimming around me, and I thought, I’ll take a shower, maybe that’ll help. But everything kept spinning. As soon as I moved my head, the whole world moved along with it, and finally I fell asleep in the bathtub. I was woken up by Helena, who just laughed at me. I’ve told her never to breathe a word about it.”
“But he didn’t meet any burglars. It was my Xbox, which was still on and had been humming along for three weeks, ever since I’d dashed off to take Juventus’s private plane to Milan.”
“but you can feel awful guilty about nothing when the men you're with don't trust you.”
“The missionaries find it opportune to remind the masses that long before the advent of European colonialism the great African empires were disrupted by the Arab invasion. There is no hesitation in saying that it was the Arab occupation which paved the way for European colonialism; Arab imperialism commonly spoken of, and the cultural imperialism of Islam is condemned.”
“Calm down? Calm done! What is it about those two words that make the fury inside me burn hotter? It's as though a match is lit, setting every muscle, every nerve ending in my body, in flames. Calm down. Those simple words cause an entirely different response in a person than they should.”
“There's this ayah from the Quran that my dad always quotes when he sees something bad on TV. A fire or a flood or a bombing. "Whoever kills one person, it is as if he has killed all of mankind... And whoever saves one person, it is as if he has saved all of mankind." When I was a little kid, that always made me feel better. Because no matter how bad things get there are always people who rush in to help. And according to my dad they are blessed.”
“Listen: We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different!”
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