Quotes from I Am Zlatan Ibrahimović

“At Balkan, it was more like, ‘I’ll do your mum up the arse.’ They were mental Yugoslavs who smoked like chimneys and flung their boots about, and I thought, Great, just like at home.”
― Zlatan Ibrahimović, quote from I Am Zlatan Ibrahimović

“I like being around warriors, and Mihajlović was a bruiser. He always did everything to win.”
― Zlatan Ibrahimović, quote from I Am Zlatan Ibrahimović

“What was relegation into the second division, when my Dad had just become my biggest fan?”
― Zlatan Ibrahimović, quote from I Am Zlatan Ibrahimović

“Först gick jag vänster och det gjorde han också. Sen gick jag höger och det gjorde han också. Sen stack jag vänster, och då gick han och köpte korv.”
― Zlatan Ibrahimović, quote from I Am Zlatan Ibrahimović

“When I got home to Piazza Castello, everything was swimming around me, and I thought, I’ll take a shower, maybe that’ll help. But everything kept spinning. As soon as I moved my head, the whole world moved along with it, and finally I fell asleep in the bathtub. I was woken up by Helena, who just laughed at me. I’ve told her never to breathe a word about it.”
― Zlatan Ibrahimović, quote from I Am Zlatan Ibrahimović

“But he didn’t meet any burglars. It was my Xbox, which was still on and had been humming along for three weeks, ever since I’d dashed off to take Juventus’s private plane to Milan.”
― Zlatan Ibrahimović, quote from I Am Zlatan Ibrahimović

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Popular quotes

“Poe, you wiener, get your ass over here!"
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Broken, adolescent male laughter echoed through the night air, and if I hadn't been so damned mad, I'd have laughed too. Something about hearing a group of idiotic pubescent fifteen-year-old boys say wiener just cracked me up.”
― Elle Jasper, quote from Afterlight

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― Belzebuub, quote from The Peace of the Spirit Within: A Guide to Transform Your Life

“As long as I know this" - he lifted our joined hands - "is mine to hold, I'll wait for you forever.”
― Jus Accardo, quote from Touch

“My recommendation is to keep up the good work. I’m changing your title to senior executive assistant, and giving you a three percent raise effective next payday. Congratulations.”
Wow, three percent. I could move up that early retirement plan to age seventy-five now, instead of eighty. Lucky me.
Thank you,” I said. “That’s very generous.”
You’re quite welcome.” Ms. Saunders nodded and grabbed a gold-plated letter opener to begin attacking her stack of mail.
I turned to leave. Didn’t want to outstay my welcome.
Damn it!” she exclaimed, and I turned back around. She winced and nodded at the letter opener that she’d dropped to her desktop. “Damn thing slipped. I’m probably going to need stitches now. Can you be a dear and fetch the first-aid kit for me?”
She held her left index finger and frowned at the steady flow of blood oozing out. A few small drops of red splashed onto the other letters spread out on the desk.
I felt woozy. And suddenly dizzy.
I blinked.
When I opened my eyes, I was no longer standing by the door about to leave. I was crouched down next to Ms. Saunders’s imported black leather chair, grasping her wrist tightly…… and sucking noisily on her fingertip.
I shrieked and let go of her, staggering backward. I grabbed at her desk to keep from falling, but I dropped on my butt, anyhow, taking most of the contents of the top of her desk with me.
She held her injured finger far away from her and stared at me, wide-eyed, with a mixture of shock and disgust.
I scrambled to my feet and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
What in the holy hell just happened?
I… I… uh… I’m so sorry,” I managed. “I don’t know what… I wouldn’t normally do something… I just…”
Ms. Saunders pulled her hand close to her chest, perhaps to protect it from further abuse.
Get out,” she said quietly.
Yeah, I’ll get back to work. Again, I’m so, so sorry. Would you like me to bring you a cup of coffee?”
No, not to your desk,” she said evenly, but her volume increased with every word. “Get out of here, you freak. I don’t care what you’ve heard, I’m not into women. You’re fired. Now get out of here before I call security.”
But… my job review—”
Get out!” she yelled.”
― Michelle Rowen, quote from Bitten & Smitten

“Alex smiled at Andy's words and then joined in the sudden biscuit battle that broke out. Thrang yelled madly at them for wasting food, but that only made him a target for everyone else.”
― M.L. Forman, quote from Slathbog's Gold

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