Hunt Me! I Crave the Chase

I could fight him. I could fight him and I’d win. But that didn’t mean that I wasn’t…tired. Tired of the fight. Tired of being strong. Tired of holding the world together when it didn’t feel like I belonged in it in the first place. It would be nice if someone else stepped in for a change. It would be nice if I could rest.

I need your pants.” “You need my⁠—” “I need your pants,” I repeated, staring at my brother, Butters, with what I hoped was a convincing expression.

I love you” tasted like freedom in a way nothing ever had before.

Even though it is selfish to take your time like this when I know it is only temporary. From the moment I met you, I could not keep away from you. I am a bad person, I know that. I just…I just w-wanted you,” my voice cracked. “Even if it was only for a little while.” My lungs felt tight, my breath stuttery and cold. “And I have no regrets. If I were to die tomorrow I would be happy. Because when I close my eyes I will know that my life has not been a waste. Because I made you smile.

I’m not a bad person,” Jeffrey admitted. “I’ve done bad things. But I was just surviving—and I’m past that.

You know…” Jeffrey trailed off, his eyes dark and searching. “Sometimes there are burdens that are too heavy for one person to carry.” I had no doubt that it was hard for him to admit that. “You taught me that.” He swallowed. “Because every time I open up to you, I feel lighter.

It is okay to have regrets. But who is benefiting from your kill?” He was picking his words very carefully and I could tell, his focus written all over his face. “Who are you feeding? It is not you. Regret does not feed your soul. And the only people who benefit from what you continue to pay are the people who hurt you.

And everyone makes mistakes.” “Yeah but mine were really bad,” I admitted, my voice shaking. “And I’m still paying for them.” “Who?” “What do you mean?” I didn’t understand. “Who are you paying for them?

Sometimes I don’t even know I’m lying,” I admitted, voice hoarse. “Not until after the words come out. I guess I just…got so used to trying to please everyone, I forgot it was a choice.

All my life I’d been the solid one. The dependable one. The one that laughed in the face of danger—not because I wasn’t frightened, but because you either laughed or cried, and I was sick and tired of being weak. Was it still bravery if you felt you had no choice?

He is pretty,” I explained to her dreamily because it was true, still blocking Jeffrey from view of the rest of the restaurant with my bulk. “And must be protected.

He’s my brother.” “Your brother?” I blinked, surprised. “One of five pups,” Theo hummed, eyes twinkling. “Adopted,” he added, looking amused. “Aside from Mutt and Butters.” “Butters?” I squinted. I’d thought the name Mutt was ridiculous. Butters was somehow worse.

I could admit I had a bit of a crush. I mean…. Who the fuck asks for squirrel at a diner? Mutt. That’s who. He was weird, and cute—and he liked to stick his fingers up my butt. So like…that made him kinda perfect? Lying about being a dog, aside.

Somewhere between the bath and our night together—and our trip to the pet store this morning, I’d grown attached. We were supposed to wear matching sweaters in the fall, dammit.

Maybe it is time to stop hunting. Maybe it is time to find your way home. Maybe you have punished yourself long enough.” “What if I can’t stop? What if I’m always lost?” “Then I will come to you.” Mutt replied immediately. “Until I breathe my last breath, I will chase you. We can be lost together.