“She was the one. If I’d ever had a doubt, I didn’t now. She was the one I’d be thinking about, longing for, until I took my last breath. If I lost her tomorrow, I’d pine for her like a lovesick fool. This was the kind of love that only hit you once in your life.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“I have many regrets, many bad things I must take credit for, but believe me when I say that the negative impact that all of my actions have had on your life is my biggest one.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“Even love couldn’t cushion a fall like ours. My love for Tristan was so big that I felt consumed by it, and even so, it was not enough to overpower our combined demons.
I struggled. I yelled and screamed. I scratched and kicked.
I fought like hell, but even the most determined fighters have to stop before they break.
No one could say I didn’t fight for him,”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“This is all yours right here. All of me. No one else gets a thing from me, you understand? I wouldn’t do that to you. I wouldn’t make all these promises if I didn’t intend to keep them.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“I thought that might have been the worst thing about losing someone, that moment between asleep and awake, when you had to remember and accept the loss again, relive that moment when your life changed, and you lost something dear.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“Everything you promised, and everything I need. What I’m willing to give to you is what I want from you. Can’t you do that for me, Tristan? Isn’t there enough of you left?”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“He lay on top of me, buried deep, and fell asleep.
He slept all night like that, and I did not move him, did not want to. I gasped breath in and out and closed my eyes and thought that I would never forget this feeling, of him on me and in me, of him consuming my soul and letting me go.
He was too callous, too far gone to realize that I'd never be free of him, and all he'd really done was set me adrift.
I never left that bed.
That feeling of helpless abandonment and unendurable longing stayed inside of me, for hours, for minutes, for weeks.
For years.
I went through my life, through tragedy and pain, through hardship and life, and my heart, my very sould, stayed in that bed.
I felt broken after that last encounter.
Pieces of me had been shattered on that bed, important, essential pieces, and they would not, could not, ever find their way back together.
But I kept going. Life is cruel like that.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“I can’t ever lose you, Danika. I’m not sure I’d survive it.”
“You’ve got me. And I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“My dear, this is what's called family.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“Tragedy never took its full chunk out of you right way. It always took a while to hit you head on, and sink in and for something substantial, some hint of the real feeling, the real reaction, to come to the surface, and this loss was not done taking its toll on us.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“It just seemed to me, that if you valued a thing, you found ways to keep it from being compromised.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“There was an anchor, tied around both of his ankles, and it was taking him deep, into black fathomless depths, drowning him slowly but surely.
I didn’t tell him that he was dragging me down with him.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“Tristan's decline was steady and sure after that.
Every tragedy, every harship, seemed to suck him just a little bit deaper into the grip of his own personal hell.
It felt like every slip up, every relapse, was pulling us down, until the weight of all our failures was dragging us under.
At first we were drowning together, but my will to survive was too strong to let that continue forever.
My hold on him became weaker and weaker, and eventually, every finger broken, my hands opened, and I let him go.
No one could say I didn't fight for him. No one could say I didn't lose.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“I was still hurting, my heart still aching with all of the loss, but I began to attempt to live again.
To wake, to move, to try taking small steps in the right direction. I was alone in that path.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“I don't know to this day if I screamed out loud, but deep down in my soul, in the place inside of me that was bursting to be a mother, that pined for it, that lived and breathed for the day that I could give birth to my own child, my own flesh and blood, that part of me screamed, "Noooo!"
It was quite possible that, somewhere deep down, I never stopped screaming it”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“I love you,” I spoke softly into his ear.
He gripped me harder. “I can’t ever lose you, Danika. I’m not sure I’d survive it.”
“You’ve got me. And I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.”
I meant the words when I said them, but life had other plans for us.
I was, by nature, a fighter, and no one could say I didn’t fight for us.
I’d have given my life for that fight.
In fact, I nearly did.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“Two cops Tasered me at the same time once, and it barely phased me.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“There’s not an ounce of dirt on you, sweetheart. You have the purest heart I’ve ever known.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“We were drifting apart. I felt helpless to stop the pattern, but still, I held onto him for dear life.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“It had been torture. But every coffin needed its last nail, and that meeting was ours.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“Sluts that bang old men age in dog years, didn’t you know?”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“wall. His forehead touched mine as he gripped my hips, shifting until he was poised back at the core of me. “I’m fucking done with this record deal if it means I’m losing your trust. This is forever for me, sweetheart. I want it all with you. You’re the thing that gets me up in the morning and lets me rest easy at night. I wouldn’t have survived some of the shit these last few months if it weren’t for you. You’re my rock, Danika, and I need you to trust me.”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
“like was not about getting what you wanted, it was about living with what you needed”
― R.K. Lilley, quote from Rock Bottom
R.K. Lilley
Born place: in The United States
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“She was so intelligent that she could think herself into beauty. Intelligence...they don't talk about it much, the poets, but when a woman is intelligent and passionate and good...”
― Eva Ibbotson, quote from A Company of Swans
“It is just the same with the so-called criminals living in our midst. To bring these people under the sway of Christianity there is one only means, that is, the Christian social ideal, which can only be realized among them by true Christian teaching and supported by a true example of the Christian life. And to preach this Christian truth and to support it by Christian example we set up among them prisons, guillotines, gallows, preparations for murder; we diffuse among the common herd idolatrous superstitions to stupefy them; we sell them spirits, tobacco, and opium to brutalize them; we even organize legalized prostitution; we give land to those who do not need it; we make a display of senseless luxury in the midst of suffering poverty; we destroy the possibility of anything like a Christian public opinion, and studiously try to suppress what Christian public opinion is existing. And then, after having ourselves assiduously corrupted men, we shut them up like wild beasts in places from which they cannot escape, and where they become still more brutalized, or else we kill them. And these very men whom we have corrupted and brutalized by every means, we bring forward as a proof that one cannot deal with criminals except by brute force. We are just like ignorant doctors who put a man, recovering from illness by the force of nature, into the most unfavorable conditions of hygiene, and dose him with the most deleterious drugs, and then assert triumphantly that their hygiene and their drugs saved his life, when the patient would have been well long before if they had left him alone.”
― Leo Tolstoy, quote from The Kingdom of God Is Within You
“Other countries spend, on average, only about one-half of what the U.S. spends per capita on health care. Isn’t it reasonable, therefore, for us to expect our system to rank above theirs? Unfortunately, among these twelve countries, the U.S. system is consistently among the worst performers.”
― T. Colin Campbell, quote from The China Study: The Most Comprehensive Study of Nutrition Ever Conducted and the Startling Implications for Diet, Weight Loss, and Long-term Health
“His stories were not always new, but there was in the telling of them a special kind of magic. His voice could roll like thunder or hush down into a zepherlike whisper. He could imitate the voices of a dozen men at once; whistle so like a bird that the birds themselves would come to him to hear what he had to say; and when when he imitated the howl of a wolf, the sound could raise the hair on the backs of his listeners' necks and strike a chill into their hearts like the depths of a Drasnian winter. He could make the sound of rain and of wind and even, most miraculously, the sound of snow falling.”
― David Eddings, quote from The Belgariad, Vol. 1: Pawn of Prophecy / Queen of Sorcery / Magician's Gambit
“Something’s up,’ I say, handing the phone back.
‘Not necessarily,’ Jack says.
‘You think this is the first time Lila’s been hot-headed? Seriously, dude, you do remember my sister, right? Short, blonde, impulsive as shock therapy? Stubborn as a mule who won’t take no for an answer?’
Does Jack ever listen to himself?
Does he appreciate the irony of this statement? I shake my head at him in wonder.
‘Hey, I’m not short or blond,’ Jack protests as he catches the look on my face.”
― Sarah Alderson, quote from Losing Lila
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