Carrying Albert Home: The Somewhat True Story of A Man, His Wife, and Her Alligator

But that’s what kismet is. It makes us careen off in odd directions from which we learn not only what life is about but what it is for. This journey may be nothing less than your chance to discover these things.” “You’re

The way I see it, if everybody ran from bad things instead of trying to stop them, bad things would be all there is.

Maybe that’s what life is,” Elsie said. “Mysteries atop mysteries. We think we know everything but we don’t know anything, not really.

Hemingway reached over and took Elsie’s hand. “Do you know Dylan Thomas? I have always admired his take on death. Like he, I intend to go raging against the dying of the light.” “Dear,

At that moment, it occurred to Elsie that it was men who caused most of the problems in the world and that included the Captain, Homer, Malcolm, Karl Marx, and even Buddy Ebsen. It made her angry, that women had not only to bear the children and raise them, but also put up with men who only saw the world through a man’s eyes.

So, you met Steinbeck,” mused Hemingway over his port after the women had left. “It is a fateful peculiarity that you might meet him and me at virtually the same time. To what do you attribute that, Homer?” “I don’t know, sir,” Homer answered. “Just the way it worked out, I guess.” “Don’t you believe it. There are no coincidences in life. Although the big God of the Hebrews might be the greatest of them, I believe there are small gods who watch out and sometimes determine our fate. I believe they also like to have a little fun with us from time to time. Kismet. You heard of it?” “I

My agent in Miami told me you were coming. I like to keep up with who’s coming to my island, especially government and railroad men. Typically, I don’t like either one but considering your girl here and your car and the fact that you have an alligator with a rooster on his back, I would guess you might be at least interesting. Name’s Ernest. Some people call me Hem.” After a brief pause he added, “As in Hemingway.” Homer

Let me find you. If you don’t, I will still look. If you won’t, I will still look. If you can’t, I will still look. It is the looking that finds the love, Not the finding. Homer

Most things take more time than we believe they will. But, now, what about love? Will love take more time than you think?” “I don’t know anything about love.” “That is true,” she agreed. “Yet, every mile you travel on this journey is for this thing you don’t know anything about.” Homer

As Elsie showered, she realized she had learned something. She was attracted to the kind of man Denver was. He drove fast and was dangerous and handsome but, she reflected, he was also, in his own way, needy. If he wasn’t showing off to a pretty girl, it was Elsie’s guess he was fairly miserable. Elsie was happy she didn’t have to put up with such a man all the way to Florida. Homer, despite all his many flaws—mostly, she had to concede, having to do with his good character—well, he would do just fine for that chore.

It was during a strike when I first saw hate on a man’s face. Hate is an awful thing. It gets inside you and makes you do things you swear you’d never do.

road game. You count cows on your side of the road, I count cows on my side. A white horse gets ten points. A graveyard on your side and you lose all your points.

That it is not easy being married to a famous writer. His mind is never in the present reality. It is more inside his stories.

At this declaration, Homer recalled some instruction from Captain Laird. “When a woman tells a man there’s something they need to talk about,” the great man had advised, “my advice is to avail yourself of the nearest door.

Death happened often enough that a certain melancholy existed between the young men and women of the little West Virginia town when they made their daily farewells

Carter opened the leather cover of the document and spread out its papers. He pretended to study them for a moment although he could quote them by rote. A good lawyer is also a good actor and a dramatic pause seemed in order.

You let Kerns hit the ball. Question is why?” “I wanted to let him keep his dignity.” Thompson

You think you don’t need anything,” she said. “You think you know yourself completely. Yet, the paradox is that you are on this journey to discover who you really are.” “But

You clearly are a remarkable man,” she said, “to travel with such creatures. The rooster is much more than he seems, as is the alligator. But, of course, you know that.” Homer

I’m a writer. These people are American nomads, forever on the move, trying to feed themselves and their families. I’m thinking about writing a book about them. My name is John Steinbeck. Perhaps you’ve heard of me.” After

Elsie started to tell a lie she knew her husband wanted to hear. I don’t love Buddy. I love you. To her astonishment, what came out was “I’m sorry.” When she realized what she had said, she tried to tell her lie again but it still came out the same. “I’m sorry.” “So

I had my fun with you yesterday, Homer, with Bruiser and all, but I hope you know I care about you. You’re a good man, maybe too good by a sight, so keep in mind there’s a Depression out where you’re going. We’re mostly walled off from it here in the mountains. People you’ll run across are going to be desperate. Stay on guard.” “I

Dilly Trammel shot me as I was climbing out.” Jim winced, as if the memory made him get shot all over again. “Trudy and me heard him at the front door—an hour before he should’ve been home, by the way—but then he sneaked around and winged me with his pistola while I was doing my best to save the honor of his wife by not being caught. What kind of man would be so low as to shoot a man looking after the honor of his wife?