Blankets

How satisfying it is to leave a mark on a blank surface. To make a map of my movement - no matter how temporary.

Maybe I'm sad about wanting you. I'm not too comfortable with wanting someone.

Even a mistake is better than nothing.

Sometimes, upon waking, the residual dream can be more appealing that reality, and one is reluctant to give it up. For a while, you feel like a ghost -- Not fully materialized, and unable to manipulate your surroundings. Or else, it is the dream that haunts you. You wait with the promise of the next dream.

Shame is always easier to handle if you have someone to share it with.

On my first visit to the public library, I was like a kid at a candy store where all the candy was free. I gorged myself until my tummy ached.

I wanted a heaven. And I grew up striving for that world-- an eternal world- that would wash away my temporary misery.

Pressed against her I can hear eternity -- hollow, lonely spaces and currents that churn ceaselessly, and the fallen snow welcomes the falling snow with a whispered "Hush".

Which is scarier-- lust or temptation?

For what matters if I gain the whole world, but lose my soul?

At night, lying on your back and staring at the falling snow, it's easy to imagine oneself soaring through the stars.

You know, sometimes you look at me with longing... ... even though I'm here with you.

And that's my comfort -- that someone else was there and experienced the same thing. How else could I know it was REAL and not merely a dream?

Her lips tarried at mine. Baiting each other with the warmth of our breath, barely grazing, detouring, then connecting.

I was grateful for cereal --- the only food that my tummy, riddled by pangs of infatuation, could handle.

We experience a discomfort that may be foreign to others, but that pain opens up a world of beauty. Wouldn't you think?

Except heaven is a hope , and eden is a memory .

I still believe in God; the teachings of Jesus even, but the rest of Christianity... its Bible, its churches, its dogma-- only sets up boundaries between people and cultures. It denies the beauty of being HUMAN, and it ignores all these GAPS that need to be filled in by the individual.

Underwater, we're drowning victims, struggling over and under each others' bodies. But above, we bob with the tide,undercurrents pulling us just far enough apart ,so that we're drifting parallel but not together.

And slowly the snow began to melt. First, doing a number on children's constructions; Then retreating to the foundations of barns and other buildings. Mangy grass poked through the receding snow. Patches of white were swallowed up in the till of the fields. New shapes emerged. Areas of the forest became INACCESSIBLE now that the snow no longer weighed down the weeds and brier. ...Nothing fits together anymore.

When you are lost or looking for someone suspected lost, the CROWDS of people form a threatening undertow undermining your every effort.