“This is how we reveal ourselves: these tiny flashes of discomfort, the reactions we can’t hide.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“Love fails for a million reasons - distance, infidelity, pride, religion, money, illness. Why is this story any more worthy?
It felt like it was. It felt important. Living in this town is suffocating in so many ways.
But if a tree falls in the woods, maybe it makes no sound.
And if a boy falls for the bishop's closeted son, maybe it makes no story.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“I don’t actually care if you break my heart, Sebastian. I went into this knowing it could happen and I gave it to you anyway. But I don’t want you to break your own. You have so much space in your heart for your church, but does it have space for you?”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“He pauses, and I know what’s coming before he even says it, and it’s like the sun chose this moment to press through the dense branches of the tree. “I’m totally gay.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“The things that I love about you aren't going to go away when you go on your book tour, and they're not going to go away when you go on your mission. I'll still be here, and I'll still be thinking about all those things. I'll still be working on being a better person, a better friend, a better son. I'll still be wondering what it would be like to be a better boyfriend for you. And you will be on your mission, thinking about how much you wish your weren't gay.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“He is never going to be here, I thought. He is never coming back.
Was I okay with it? No. But missing him every day for the rest of my life was still easier than the fight Sebastian had: to stuff himself inside a box every morning and tuck that box inside his heart and pray that his heart kept beating around the obstacle. Every day I could go to class as exactly the person I am, and meet new people, and come outside later for some fresh air and Frisbee. Every day I would be grateful that no one who matters to me questions whether I am too masculine, too feminine, too open, too closed.
Every day I would be grateful for what I have, and that I can be who I am without judgment.
So every day I would fight for Sebastian, and people in the same boat, who don’t have what I do, who struggle to find themselves in a world that tells them white and straight and narrow gets first pick in the schoolyard game of life.
My chest was congested with regret, and relief, and resolve. Give me more of those, I thought to whoever was listening—whether it was God, or Oz, or the three sisters of Fate. Give me those moments where I think he’s coming back. I can take the hurt. The reminder that he’s not coming back—and why—will keep me fighting.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“My brain is such a traitorous beast.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“Our eyes snag, and hold. His are green and yellow, with these razor-sharp flecks of brown. I feel like I've taken a running leap off a cliff and have no idea how deep the water is.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“But this is your life, and it will stretch out before you, and you are the only person who can make it whatever you want it to be.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“Light bursts behind my closed eyes, so intensely I nearly hear the popping sound. It's my brain melting, or my world ending, or maybe we've just been hit by a meteor and this is the rapture and I'm given one last perfect moment before I'm sent to purgatory and he;s sent somewhere much, much better.
It isn't his first kiss - I know that - but it's his first real one.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“Maybe I'm crying because I'm terrified that he's come here to do more damage, to reactivate what I feel only to let me down easy again, missionary style.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“We don't rehash the question of my sexuality, but I feel its presence like a third person in the room, sitting in the dark corner, eavesdropping on our conversation.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“Inside my chest, my lungs are wild animals, clawing at the cage.
"Oh, man," Autumn mumbles from beside me. "His smile makes me stupid."
Her words are a dim echo of my own thoughts: His smile ruins me. The feeling makes me uneasy, a dramatic lurch that tells me I need to have him or I won't be okay.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“He shakes his head, and I think this moment, right here, is when it really hits me that Sebastian's identity isn't queer. It's not gay. It's not even soccer player or boyfriend or son. It’s Mormon.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“His voice is both low and quiet, and it has this hypnotic rhythm to it. I wonder whether someday he'll give sermons with that voice, whether he'll throw down judgement with that voice.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“High school is such an incestuous little pool.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“We're only three class sessions in and I'm already behind? And to hear it from him? This buttoned-up Bible-thumper I can't get out of my head?”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“To her, not packing our lunches every day or joining the PTA is a feminist rallying cry.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“I am a monster beneath him, with arching hips, an octopus with hands everywhere at once. I don't think anything in the history of time has felt this good.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“Oh my God, Tanner! Do you really care what kind of underwear he’s got on? Let’s talk about your goddamn outline!”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“You're so lucky and you don't even know it.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“It isn't his first kiss - I know that - but it's his first real one.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“He's not recruiting me to the oiled-up Gay Bliss Club of Northern Utah, but to the LDS Church.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
“He shakes his head, and I think this moment, right here, is when it really hits me that Sebastian's identity is a queer. It's not gay. It's not even soccer player or boyfriend or son. It’s Mormon.”
― Christina Lauren, quote from Autoboyography
Christina Lauren
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“You seemed so far away," Miss Honey whispered, awestruck.
"Oh, I was. I was flying past the stars on silver wings," Matilda said. "It was wonderful.”
― Roald Dahl, quote from Matilda
“Watch and pray, dear, never get tired of trying, and never think it is impossible to conquer your fault.”
― Louisa May Alcott, quote from Little Women
“Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, quote from The Fellowship of the Ring
“They hit you if you can’t say your name in Irish, if you can’t say the Hail Mary in Irish, if you can’t ask for the lavatory pass in Irish. It helps to listen to the big boys ahead of you. They can tell you about the master you have now, what he likes and what he hates. One master will hit you if you don’t know that Eamon De Valera is the greatest man that ever lived. Another master will hit you if you don’t know that Michael Collins was the greatest man that ever lived. Mr. Benson hates America and you have to remember to hate America or he’ll hit you. Mr. O’Dea hates England and you have to remember to hate England or he’ll hit you. If you ever say anything good about Oliver Cromwell they’ll all hit you. •”
― Frank McCourt, quote from Angela's Ashes
“Listen to me, he said, when your dreams are of some world that never was or some world that never will be, and you're happy again, then you'll have given up. Do you understand? And you can't give up, I won't let you.”
― Cormac McCarthy, quote from The Road
Mythologies
Promises
Alta
I Can See You
How to Be Good
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