“I avoid literature whenever possible, because whenever possible I avoid myself...”
― Thomas Bernhard, quote from Wittgenstein's Nephew
“For before I met my friend there had been a period when I was prey to a morbid melancholy, if not depression, when I really believed I was lost, when for years I did no proper work but spent most of my days in a state of total apathy and often came close to putting an end to my life by my own hand. For years I had taken refuge in a terrible suicidal brooding, which deadened my mind and made everything unendurable, above all myself—brooding on the utter futility all around me, into which I had been plunged by my general weakness, but above all my weakness of character. For a long time I could not imagine being able to go on living, or even existing. I was no longer capable of seizing upon any purpose in life that would have given me control over myself. Every morning on waking I was inevitably caught up in this mechanism of suicidal brooding, and I remained in its grip throughout the day. And I was deserted by everyone because I had deserted everyone—that is the truth—because I no longer wanted anyone. I no longer wanted anything, but I was too much of a coward to make an end of it all. It was probably at the height of my despair—a word that I am not ashamed to use, as I no longer intend to deceive myself or gloss over anything, since nothing can be glossed over in a society and a world that perpetually seeks to gloss over everything in the most sickening manner—that Paul appeared on the scene at Irina’s apartment in the Blumenstockgasse.”
― Thomas Bernhard, quote from Wittgenstein's Nephew
“I know nothing about nature. I hate nature, because it is killing me.”
― Thomas Bernhard, quote from Wittgenstein's Nephew
“Seen from across the street, he was like someone to whom the world had long since given notice to quit but who was compelled to stay in it, no longer belonging to it, but unable to leave it.”
― Thomas Bernhard, quote from Wittgenstein's Nephew
“Nur hat der Paul dieses sein Denkvermögen genauso ununterbrochen beim Fenster hinausgeworfen, wie sein Geldvermögen, aber während sein Geldvermögen sehr bald endgültig zum Fenster hinausgeworfen und erschöpft gewesen war, war sein Denkvermögen tatsächlich unerschöpflich; er warf es ununterbrochen zum Fenster hinaus und es vermehrte sich (gleichzeitig) ununterbrochen, je mehr er von seinem Denkvermögen aus dem Fenster (seines Kopfes) hinauswarf, desto mehr vergrößerte es sich, das ist ja das Kennzeichen solcher Menschen, die zuerst verrückt sind und schließlich als wahnsinnig bezeichnet werden, dass sie immer mehr und immer ununterbrochen ihr Geistesvermögen zum Fenster (ihres Kopfes) hinauswerfen und sich gleichzeitig in diesem ihrem Kopf ihr Geistesvermögen mit derselben Geschwindigkeit, mit welcher sie es zum Fenster (ihres Kopfes) hinauswerfen, vermehrt. Sie werfen immer mehr Geistesvermögen zum Fenster (ihres Kopfes) hinaus und es wird gleichzeitig in ihrem Kopf immer mehr und naturgemäß immer bedrohlicher und schließlich kommen sie mit dem Hinauswerfen ihres Geistesvermögens (aus ihrem Kopf) nicht mehr nach und der Kopf hält das sich fortwährend in ihrem Kopf vermehrende und in diesem ihrem Kopf angestaute Geistesvermögen nicht mehr aus und explodiert.”
― Thomas Bernhard, quote from Wittgenstein's Nephew
“O sıralar herkes tarafından da terk edilmiştim, ben onların hepsini terk etmiştim çünkü, işin aslı bu, hiç kimseyi istemiyordum, tıpkı artık hiçbir şeyi istemeyişim ama her şeye de kendi elimle son veremeyecek kadar korkak oluşum gibi. Ve belki de kapkara yılgınlığımın zirvesinde, artık bu sözcüğü ağzıma almaktan da utanmıyorum, çünkü çoktandır, içinde süslenecek tek bir şey kalmayan ama her şeyin sürekli olarak üstelik de en iğrendirici biçimde süslendiği bir dünyada kendi kendime yalan söylemek ve bir şeyleri süslemek niyetinde değilim, Paul çıktı karşıma. O sırada benim için öylesine bambaşka, yeni bir insandı ki, üstelik de yıllar yılı hiçbirine duymadığım kadar hayranlık duyuyordum, o an işte benim kurtarıcım, dedim içimden. Şehir parkının sırası üzerinde otururken birden tekrar bütün bunların apaçık bilincine vardım ve şu dokunaklı halimden, eskiden hiçbir zaman ruhuma girmelerine izin vermediğim ama şimdi zorla, sıkış tıkış ruhuma dahil ettiğim büyük laflardan da utanmadım, şu anda bana müthiş iyi geliyorlardı, onların üzerimdeki etkisini kesinlikle hafifletmeye kalkışmadım. Serinleten bir yağmur gibi bütün bu sözcüklerin üzerimden kayıp gitmelerine izin verdim.”
― Thomas Bernhard, quote from Wittgenstein's Nephew
“Das typische Wiener Kaffeehaus, das in der ganzen Welt berühmt ist, habe ich immer gehasst, weil alles in ihm gegen mich ist. Andererseits fühlte ich mich jahrzehntelang gerade im Bräunerhof, das immer ganz gegen mich gewesen ist (wie das Hawelka), wie zuhause, wie in Cafe Museum, wie in anderen Kaffeehäuser von Wien, die ich in meinen Wiener Jahre frequentiert habe. Ich habe das Wiener Kaffeehaus immer gehasst und bin immer wieder in das von mir gehasste Wiener Kaffeehaus heineingegangen, habe es tagtäglich aufgesucht, denn ich habe, obwohl ich das Wiener Kaffeehaus immer gehasst habe, und gerade weil ich es immer gehasst habe, in Wien immer an der Kaffeehausaufsuchkrankheit gelitten, denn es hat sich herausgestellt, dass diese Kaffeehausaufsuchkrankheit die unheilbarste aller meiner Krankheiten ist. Ich habe die Winer Kaffeehäuser imme gehasst, weil ich in ihnen immer mit Meinesgleichen konfrontiert gewesen bin, das ist die Wahrheit und ich will ja nicht ununterbrochen mit mir konfrontiert sein, schon gar nicht im Kaffeehaus, in das ich ja gehe, damit ich mir entkomme, aber gerade dort bin ich dann mit mir und Meinesgleichen konfrontiert. Ich ertrage mich selbst nicht, geschweige denn eine ganze Horde von grübelnden und schreibenden Meinesgleichen. Ich meide die Literatur, wo ich nur kann, weil ich mich selbst meide, wo ich nur kann und deshalb muss ich mir den Kaffeehausbesuch in Wien verbieten oder wenigstens immer darauf Bedacht nehmen, wenn ich in Wien bin, unter keinen wie immer gearteten Unständen ein sogenanntes Wiener Literatenkaffeehaus aufzusuchen. Aber da ich an der Kaffeehausaufsuchkrankheit leide, bin ich gezwungen, immer wieder in ein Literatenkaffeehaus hineinzugehen, auch wenn sich alles in mir dagegen wehrt. Je mehr und je tiefer ich die Wiener Literatenkaffeehäuser gehasst habe, desto öfter und desto intensiver bin ich in sie hineingegangen. Das ist die Wahrheit.”
― Thomas Bernhard, quote from Wittgenstein's Nephew
“Und ich denke heute, die Menschen, die in unserem Leben wirklich etwas bedeutet haben, können wir an den Fingern einer Hand abzählen und sehr oft sträubt sich sogar diese eine Hand gegen die Perversität, in welcher wir glauben, eine ganze Hand zum Abzählen dieser Menschen heranziehen zu müssen, wo wir doch, wenn wir ehrlich sind, wahrscheinlich ohne einen einzigen Finger auskommen.”
― Thomas Bernhard, quote from Wittgenstein's Nephew
“Bu zaman zarfında Paul'un düşüncelerinden yoksun kalmıştım, başka başka yüzlerce, ortalaması son derece düşük çaplı kafa içinde boğulmama ramak kalmıştı, çünkü kendimizi aldatmayalım, çoğunlukla elimizin altında bulunan kafalar ilginç olmaktan uzaktır, zevksiz elbiselere sokulmuş bedenler üzerinde acınası ama ne yazık ki acımaya lâyık olmayan hayatlar sürdüren patates azmanlarından ne kadar hayır gelirse onlardan da o kadar gelir.”
― Thomas Bernhard, quote from Wittgenstein's Nephew
“I always want to be somewhere else, in the place I have just fled from. In recent years this condition has, if anything, become worse: I go to and from Vienna at diminishing intervals, and from Nathal I will often go to some other big city, to Venice or Rome and back, or to Prague and back. The truth is that I am happy only when I am sitting in the car , between the place I have just left and the place I am driving to. I am happy only when I am traveling; when I arrive, no matter where, I am suddenly the unhappiest person imaginable. Basically I am one of those people who cannot bear to be anywhere and are happy only between places.”
― Thomas Bernhard, quote from Wittgenstein's Nephew
“Benimle Nathal'de avlu duvarı dibinde oturmuş, batmakta olan güneşin altında, kaç kere Paris'e, kaç kere Londra'ya, kaç kere Roma'ya gittiğinin, kaç bin şişe şampanya ictiğinin ve acaba kaç kitap okuduğunun hesabını yapıyordu. Çünkü bu görüldüğü gibi yüzeysel varoluşu sürdüren kişi kesinlikle yüzeysel biri değildi. Üzerinde düşünmekte, düşünce üretmekte en ufak bir zorlukla karşılaştığı tek konu yoktu, tam tersine aslında bana ait olan, yetkinleştiğimi sandığım alanlarda beni utandıran çoğunlukla o olurdu; beni daima düzeltir, doğrusunu gösterirdi. Sık sık düşünmüşümdür, felsefeci olan o, matematikçi olan o, ben değilim, şu işin erbabı olan o, ben değilim diye. Müzik alanında bilmediği, onun için en azından ilginç bir müzik tartışması açma fırsatı oluşturmayacak tek konu bulunmadığını ise hatırlatmaya gerek yok. Üstüne üstlük, bütün bu zihinsel ve sanatsal etkinliklerde bulunurken olağanüstü bir koordinasyon yeteneğine de sahipti. Öte yandan, sadece çok konuşan insanlarla gevezelerden oluşan bir dünyada ona çok konuşan bir insan diyemezdiniz, hele hele geveze hiç.”
― Thomas Bernhard, quote from Wittgenstein's Nephew
Thomas Bernhard
Born place: in Heerlen, Netherlands
Born date February 9, 1931
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