We Should Hang Out Sometime: Embarrassingly, a True Story

Fighting emotion with logic is like bringing a calculator to a knife fight

When you're faced with a significantly life-altering negative situation you can't control, you grasp at the little things you can control. The little opportunities where you can make choices for yourself.

That's the thing about human beings: if we have a crush on someone, that person's every behavior attracts us even more. But if we don't like that person, the very same behavior will annoy us.

Side benefit of dating me: free motivational speeches. It's like friends with benefits where the benefits are inspirational.

Like everyone in the history of the world who has had a crush on his or her best friend, I was too scared to tell her, because if I did I might lose her completely. And the sharp bite of losing her completely would be far worse than the one-sided romantic arrangement we had going.

I t was a well-known fact among Christian homeschoolers that public schools were bastions of gangs, drugs, teen pregnancy, rap music, pop culture, secular humanism, witchcraft, and body piercings.

fighting emotion with logic is like bringing a calculator to a knife fight.

It was so unfair! A pop quiz...with no advance warning! Public school was a rip-off! I was going to fail out and not get into college and end up destitute and living on the streets.

Ani DiFranco’s songs, as it turns out, are best described as guitar picking played as background music while Ani, an angry, dreadlocked feminist lesbian, spouts diatribes against men. The music created that perfect mood of politically charged man-hating that I always go for on a first date. Ladies, if you’re looking to start a date off right, you can’t go wrong with Ani.

It was not the shape of my body, as it turned out, but my insecurities about that shape that had kept me single.

A lot of people want their first kiss to be special. I just wanted mine to be during this lifetime . . . I was twenty years old, for crying out loud, and I'd still never kissed anyone.

To paraphrase Elie Wiesel, in relationships, the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. having no feelings at all. Not caring either way. Hate, at least, requires a foundation of emotional involvement with the relationship.

What do girls like to talk about? Makeup? Glitter? I don't really know.