One Italian Summer

History, memory is by definition fiction. Once an event is no longer present, but remembered, it is narrative. And we can choose the narratives we tell—about our own lives, our own stories, our own relationships. We can choose the chapters we give meaning.

i hope you walk through the world knowing your value. I hope you find a passion--something you love, something that lights you up inside. I hope you find the peace and confidence it takes to trust where your path leads. Remember it is only yours. Others can wave and cheer, but no one can give you directions. They have not been where you are going. I hope you will understand someday that just because you become a mother doesn't mean you stop becoming a woman. And above all else, I hope you know that even if you can't see me, I am always with you.

What got you here won't get you there.

There is more to life than just continuing to do what we know. What got you here won’t get you there.

History is an asset, not a detriment. It's nice to be with someone who knows you, who knows your history. It will get even more important the longer you live. Learning how to find your way back can be harder than starting over. But damn, if you can, it's worth it.

Every day the world is born again. Every day the sun rises. It is a miracle, I think. A simple, everyday miracle. Life.

My mother, you see, is the great love of my life.

The present is relentless. It forces us over and over again to pay attention. It requires all of us. As well it should.

And finally to you, this time around: one of life’s most important challenges is determining what to hold on to and what to let go of. Do not be fooled into believing that you do not know which is which. Follow the feeling, follow it all the way home.

We made promises in a world lit with light. We do not know how to keep them in the darkness

There's something about photography I love -- a whole memory caught in a moment.

I don’t think bad action makes you a bad person. I think life is far more complicated than that, and it’s reductive to think otherwise.

The difference between being good and bad at something is just interest,

I hope you’ll understand someday that just because you become a mother doesn’t mean you stop being a woman.

It’s possible actions only have the weight we give them,” she says. “We can decide what something means.

What got you here, won't get you there.

Never trust anyone who hasn’t had their heart broken. It’s a before and after. You never quite see the world the same way again.

She made me in her image, but she forgot the most important part. She forgot that one day she’d leave, that she already had, and then I’d be left with nothing. When you’re just a reflection, what happens when the image vanishes?

I think I'm really good at travel and less good at what happens when you stand still," he says. "I like to be a visitor. In places, in hotels, sometimes in other people's lives.

You act like you don’t know how you got here, like you just woke up and looked around and thought, Huh—but I have news for you. Even inaction is a choice.

Actions only have the weight we give them. We can decide what something means.

My mother was the first person you called for a recipe (a cup of onions, garlic, don’t forget the pinch of sugar) and the last one you called at night when you just couldn’t sleep (a cup of hot water with lemon, lavender oil, magnesium pills). She knew the exact ratio of olive oil to garlic in any recipe, and she could whip up dinner from three pantry items, easy. She had all the answers. I, on the other hand, have none of them, and now I no longer have her.

My darling Katy, my baby girl—Italy is so beautiful. It reminds me of you. How happy everyone is in the morning, how the stars come out at night. I know I am not there, and I hope someday to explain to you why. I hope so many things for you, baby girl. I hope you walk through the world knowing your value. I hope you find a passion—something you love, something that lights you up inside. I hope you find the peace and confidence it takes to trust where your path leads. Remember, it is only yours. Others can wave and cheer, but no one can give you directions. They have not been where you are going. I hope you’ll understand someday that just because you become a mother doesn’t mean you stop being a woman. And above all else, I hope you know that even if you can’t see me, I am always with you.

The entire town is built around the cove of the sea. It looks like an amphitheater, enjoying the performance of the ocean.

What got you here won't get you there. That the same set of circumstances, beliefs, actions, that got you to a moment won't get you to what comes next. That if you want a different outcome, you have to behave differently. That you have to keep evolving.

It has all made my blood pump faster and my skin feel softer, weightier. The blessing of this life, this one, brilliant, beautiful life. All the loss and anguish. All the joy that makes it possible. The tender connections, the fragility, the impossible odds of being here, now, together. The choice of continuing to make it so.

The magic of Italy seems to be in its ability to connect to some time out of time, some era that is unmarked by modernity. There is so much peacefulness in being present, right here.

Naples is a strange city,” he says. “It’s in tatters in some places, absolutely run-down, but there’s also this persevering Mediterranean beauty, almost Grecian. It was the most bombed Italian city in World War Two and has a largely tragic history—a huge cholera epidemic, poverty, crime—but there’s this strength to this place and its people. I find that beauty next to decay is its own kind of stunning. You can really feel it when you’re there.

The blessing of this life, this one, brilliant, beautiful life. All the loss and anguish. All the joy that makes it possible. The tender connections, the fragility, the impossible odds of being here, now, together. The choice of continuing to make it so.

I just feel like I need more time.… I really just feel ambushed, you know? I mean, I thought I had so much more… time. I thought I had all summer to impart my wisdom about work and life and your future, and I just feel like I had something to tell you. Oh! On the bus, make sure you choose a good seat, you know, because people are creatures of habit, and the seat you pick in the beginning could be your seat for the rest of the year, you know? Get a window seat, honey, ’cause there’s so much to see. —LORELAI GILMORE