A Long Way Home

My mother described her reactions better than I ever could mine: she said she was "surprised with thunder" that her boy had come back, and that the happiness in her heart was "as deep as the sea".

I feel strongly that from my being a little lost boy with no family to becoming a man with two, everything was meant to happen just the way it happened. And I am profoundly humbled by that thought.

My return seemed to inspire and energize the neighborhood, as though it was evidence that the hard luck of life did not have to rule you. Sometimes miracles do happen.

Not having enough to eat paralyzes you and keeps you living hour by hour instead of thinking about what you would like to accomplish in a day, week, month, or year. Hunger and poverty steal your childhood and take away your innocence and sense of security. But

We all reach a point as young adults when we wonder what we should be doing with our lives—or, at the very least, which direction to point ourselves in. Beyond the means to get by, we need to think about what’s most important to us. Not surprisingly, I discovered that for me the answer was family.

I’d had to learn some of these differences, too. Mum remembers taking me somewhere in the car once when I looked at her and said, “Lady no drive.” She pulled over and said, “If lady no drive, then boy walk!” I quickly learned my lesson.

She also said she was proud of me, which is all anyone can wish to hear from his mother. The

Mum had decided that there was nothing sacrosanct about families formed only by birth parents. Though brought up Catholic, she and Dad thought the world had enough children born into it already, with many millions of them in dire need. They agreed that there were other ways to create a family beyond having children themselves.

I’d learned quickly, as a matter of survival, that I needed to take opportunities as they came—if they came—and to look forward to the future.

carrying laborer to teacher and manager. It seems a bittersweet result of the family’s loss that the remaining children had managed to lift themselves out of poverty.

Sometimes it felt as if the world had forgotten about us and our problems.

One of the most touching things my mother said to me was that if I ever wanted to come back to live in India, she would build me a home and go out and work hard so that I could be happy.

Hunger and poverty steal your childhood and take away your innocence and sense of security. But I was one of the lucky ones because I not only survived but learned to thrive. •

I was about to embark on a high-tech version of what I'd done in my first week there, twenty years ago, randomly taking trains out to see if they went back home. I took a deep breath, chose a train line, and started scrolling along it.

was a juvenile detention centre, called Liluah, housing

birdwatching or sailing. Dad often took me out on his small catamaran, which only increased my love of the water, and I finally learned to swim. Just being able to look out at the horizon gave me peace of

Adoptees, whether or not they ever knew their birth parents, often describe the constant, gnawing feeling of there being something missing: without a connection, or at least the knowledge of where they are from, they feel incomplete.

Just the thought of being able to ask for more food with the expectation of receiving it made me happy and built up my excitement to an almost unbearable pitch. It seemed that we were about to embark on the adventure of our lives. •

The idea of having possessions took some getting used to.

For the first time, I told Mum that the place I was from was called “Ginestlay,” and when

Hunger limits you because you are constantly thinking about getting food, keeping the food if you do get your hands on some, and not knowing when you are going to eat next.

imagined what I’d do when I reached this stage. It now seems absurd, but I suppose I thought I’d find a town labelled ‘Ginestlay’ and that would be that; I’d know I’d found home. But nothing else had worked out as I thought it would – this town was well outside my search boundary, and after all my careful planning and methodical efforts I’d found it by accident. It

Van toen af aan heb ik gedacht dat we huilen omdat ons lichaam iets probeert te verwerken wat ons hart en verstand te veel is.