Quotes from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Bill Watterson ·  1456 pages

Rating: (31.2K votes)


“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes



“A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“People pay more attention when they think you’re up to something.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes



“It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
-Calvin”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes



“Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“It's going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn't know anything but what it's seen on TV.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


“Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes



“I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


About the author

Bill Watterson
Born place: in Washington, D.C., The United States
Born date July 5, 1958
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“Of the first few hauntings I investigated with Lockwood & Co. I intend to say little, in part to protect the identity of the victims, in part because of the gruesome nature of the incidents, but mainly because, in a variety of ingenious ways, we succeeded in messing them all up.”
― Jonathan Stroud, quote from The Screaming Staircase


“He tasted like joy, and joy tasted better on Earth.”
― Kass Morgan, quote from The 100


“Coddly slammed a fist on the table. “No one will take you seriously if you do not act decisively.”

There was a beat of silence after his voice stopped echoing around the room, and the entire table sat motionless.

“Fine,” I responded calmly. “You’re fired.”

Coddly laughed, looking at the other gentlemen at the table. “You can’t fire me, Your Highness.”

I tilted my head, staring at him. “I assure you, I can. There’s no one here who outranks me at the moment, and you are easily replaceable.”

Though she tried to be discreet, I saw Lady Brice purse her lips together, clearly determined not to laugh. Yes, I definitely had an ally in her.

“You need to fight!” he insisted.

“No,” I answered firmly. “A war would add unnecessary strain to an already stressful moment and would cause an upheaval between us and the country we are now bound to by marriage. We will not fight.”

Coddly lowered his chin and squinted. “Don’t you think you’re being too emotional about this?”

I stood, my chair screeching behind me as I moved. “I’m going to assume that you aren’t implying by that statement that I’m actually being too female about this. Because, yes, I am emotional.”

I strode around the opposite side of the table, my eyes trained on Coddly. “My mother is in a bed with tubes down her throat, my twin is now on a different continent, and my father is holding himself together by a thread.”

Stopping across from him, I continued. “I have two younger brothers to keep calm in the wake of all this, a country to run, and six boys downstairs waiting for me to offer one of them my hand.” Coddly swallowed, and I felt only the tiniest bit of guilt for the satisfaction it brought me. “So, yes, I am emotional right now. Anyone in my position with a soul would be. And you, sir, are an idiot. How dare you try to force my hand on something so monumental on the grounds of something so small? For all intents and purposes, I am queen, and you will not coerce me into anything.”

I walked back to the head of the table. “Officer Leger?”

“Yes, Your Highness?”

“Is there anything on this agenda that can’t wait until tomorrow?”

“No, Your Highness.”

“Good. You’re all dismissed. And I suggest you all remember who’s in charge here before we meet again.”
― Kiera Cass, quote from The Crown


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