Bill Watterson · 1456 pages
Rating: (31.2K votes)
“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
“I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.”
“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.”
“Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.”
“Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.”
“A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.”
“I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.”
“Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.”
“Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?”
“People pay more attention when they think you’re up to something.”
“It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.”
“Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.”
“I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.”
“I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
-Calvin”
“I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.”
“Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books.”
“The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.”
“It's going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn't know anything but what it's seen on TV.”
“You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats.”
“Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.”
“I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.”
“I was so scared to give up depression, fearing that somehow the worst part of me was actually all of me. ”
“Show me a mortal who is not pursued, and I’ll show you a corpse. Every hunter is hunted, every mind that knows itself has stalkers. We drive and are driven. The unknown pursues the ignorant, the truth assails every scholar wise enough to know his ignorance, for that is the meaning of unknowable truths.”
“People say that being a mother is the most important job you will ever have. And it is very important. But it is even more important, I believe, to be a wife, a good wife....I don't mean you have to be a floor mat. That's not what I mean at all. I mean, who you choose to walk with through life will be the most important decision that you will ever, ever make. You will have your children and you will love them because they are yours and because they will be wonderful. Just like you.... But who you marry is a choice. the man you choose should make you happy, encourage you in following your dreams, big ones and little ones.”
“...Life without sinning was like food without salt, pure but tasteless.”
“She was held in the tension just before movement, about to walk back toward the house. Later she would think, If I had turned away, I'd have missed the moment he fell in love.
He would not remember it that way. What he experienced was not so much the beginning of love as a cessation of pain.”
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