Shane Dawson · 256 pages
Rating: (4.7K votes)
“If you're passionate about something, give it your all, and you will find happiness.”
“I'm here to tell you that it gets worse. It really does. The problems you have as a kid will seem ridiculous when you get older because bigger and worse problems will come along. But you will learn to deal with them easier as you grow up, or, like me, you'll just stop giving a shit. So yes, it gets worse, but you know what gets better? Your tolerance for the bullshit.”
“Now this isn't meant to make anyone feel like college is a waste of time, because for so many people it's not. But don't go because you feel like you have to. If your heart isn't in it, then why spend four years of your life stuck somewhere you don't want to be?”
“All those years I had thought my first choice would be Sour Patch Kids but then I realized God had a different plan for me. Peanut butter and chocolate. Praise the Lord.”
“Isn’t that weird how you never see a fat kid eat? We always do it in private, as if we are fooling anyone. How sad. As”
“And nowadays, I keep my promises.”
“To everyone who gets me, thank you. To everyone who doesn't, thank you too. You give me the motivation to keep succeeding just to piss you off.”
“For we live with those retrievals from childhood that coalesce and echo throughout our lives, the way shattered pieces of glass in a kaleidoscope reappear in new forms and are songlike in their refrains and rhymes, making up a single monologue. We live permanently in the recurrence of our own stories, whatever story we tell.”
“De vez en cuando la especie humana engendra depredadores que se alimentan de aquellos que los rodean. Pero no pertenecen a la especie: son mutaciones de ella. A mi parecer, esos monstruos no tienen derecho a respirar el oxígeno de la atmósfera. Pero están ahí, por lo que contribuyo a enjaularlos y a meterlos donde no puedan dañar a los otros. Consigo que la vida sea más segura para la gente que se levanta, acude al trabajo cada día, cría a sus hijos, cultiva sus tomates o cuida sus peces tropicales y ve los partidos de fútbol los domingos. Ésa es la especie humana.”
“Actually, judging by Pinterest alone, I’m pretty sure a lot of people would look forward to hanging out in such a beautiful library.”
“He has one code of morals for himself, and quite another for his children. He requires his children to deal justly—and gently—with offenders, and forgive them seventy-and-seven times; whereas he deals neither justly nor gently with anyone, and he did not forgive the ignorant and thoughtless first pair of juveniles even their first small offense and say, “You may go free this time, I will give you another chance.”
“No one awakens in the morning thinking they will die that day. Not a saint or a sinner. Not even a condemned killer. We all know were mortal, and yet we all believe we'll live forever.”
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