Incidents Around the House

The older I get, the more I think the barometer for intelligence is how kind you are. Because it’s not an easy thing to do, staying mindful, after all you go through in life.

That’s real cruelty. That’s world cruelty. Where it’s not just the idea that one person is cruel, it’s that they believe, and have reason to believe, the whole world feels the same.

If you think about it, every time you’ve ever been scared in your life so far, you’ve also survived whatever you were scared of. Right? You’ve literally gotten through everything you thought you might not. Everything you thought you weren’t strong enough to get through…you got through it. Or else you wouldn’t be here to know you got through it. Right?

If there’s one thing I could convey to you, one thing that would take root in you just like the need to eat and sleep, it would be this: try to stay kind as long as you can.

When one thing leaves your house or heart, it makes room for another to take its place. This is why it’s unwise to make solid statues inside. A statue takes up space without moving, without flowing, without growing.

It’s all right to be nervous. You’ll learn soon enough in life that everybody’s nervous about something and it’s the ones who do the things they need to do anyway who end up getting the most out of it.

Sometimes it’s nice to just vent. Sometimes when you complain, it’s not because you want to be told how to fix it. You just wanna say it sucks. Because sometimes it just sucks.

Meanness doesn’t have to spread. It can stop with the mean person, stop at the threshold of the kind person. I guess I’d put it this way: don’t let them in. Don’t invite them in.

try to stay kind as long as you can. For all of your life. Always be mindful of what others are enduring. And whatever you do, most of all, don’t allow someone else’s meanness, someone else’s cruelty, to get inside of you.

I won’t make a statue of what they told me. I don’t want it in my house.

So the goal, I think, is to stay kind for as long as you can, no matter what happens to you. No matter what you go through, no matter how many breaks you get and how many you don’t. And I think you always have to remember that if someone is mean to you, they are like that with everybody else too. You see, Bela? Meanness doesn’t have to spread. It can stop with the mean person, stop at the threshold of the kind person. I guess I’d put it this way: don’t let them in. Don’t invite them in. If there’s one thing I could convey to you, one thing that would take root in you just like the need to eat and sleep, it would be this: try to stay kind as long as you can. For all of your life. Always be mindful of what others are enduring. And whatever you do, most of all, don’t allow someone else’s meanness, someone else’s cruelty, to get inside of you.

Why, hello there, I say. I’m Bela. And my parents have been arguing all day. Who are you? The red butterfly flaps its wings and I think he can see me. I think he’s looking back at me. I came all the way from my habitat to see you, I say. And my parents use the zoo to fight.

You ever think, Bela, how people say that light shows what things really look like, but they also say that light and dark are equal and need each other and you can't have one without the other and so . . . is it so crazy to say that maybe what we see in the dark is the truth too?

But that doesn’t change the fact that the house, like the heart, has corners and closets and places for things to hide. That’s really what I wanted to say to you right now. That you may not even know that something’s hiding in your house or heart unless someone like me, a friend in your life, told you that such things can be.

Because no matter what’s going on in your head, your heart, your life, it’s always wise to remember to eat.

Everything you thought you weren’t strong enough to get through…you got through it. Or else you wouldn’t be here to know you got through it.

You’ll learn soon enough in life that everybody’s nervous about something and it’s the ones who do the things they need to do anyway who end up getting the most out of it.

Grandma said they were going to “pay for it” tomorrow, but Evelyn said it’s the kind of money we’re supposed to spend while we’re still alive.

But I have closets, she says. I do. I love your daddo more than you’ll ever know, but sometimes I wonder if you’re supposed to marry someone with a similar floor plan.

Sometimes when you complain, it’s not because you want to be told how to fix it. You just wanna say it sucks. Because sometimes it just sucks.

One day this will all be something we got through. One day, the problems you have now will be like a legend in your life. I don’t know a single person who got stuck in the same problem for the rest of their life.

We’re living a storm of a story,

Well, there’s a purity to being innocent. Being unaware of the bad things in the world. Being unaware of the bad things people can do. Even people close to you. People you love. Animals are innocent because they aren’t motivated by things other than survival.

You know, Bela, fear is a super interesting thing. If you think about it, every time you’ve ever been scared in your life so far, you’ve also survived whatever you were scared of. Right? You’ve literally gotten through everything you thought you might not. Everything you thought you weren’t strong enough to get through…you got through it. Or else you wouldn’t be here to know you got through it.

Would you really tell your mommy? I ask. Even if your mommy might get hurt?