James Patterson · 320 pages
Rating: (9K votes)
“Have you ever done something extremely stupid like, oh, I don’t know, try to make a room filled with total strangers laugh until their sides hurt? Totally”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life doing something, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“wanted that to be my bedroom,” he says. “It’d be so easy to sneak out at night to TP yards, egg cars, and punch people.” Yes, Stevie has an active social life.”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“A lot healthier than getting socked in the stomach. Especially if you had a big breakfast.”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“Yes, I have a very small and mostly nerdy fan club. And much to my amazement, it grows a little larger every day. Apparently, these new recruits liked what they saw of my act on YouTube (even though everybody wishes that doofus blocking the camera had a smaller head).”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“The school crossing guard is a zombie?” screams the youngest Smiley. Then she starts crying. “I hugged her once, Mommy! Am I gonna turn into a zombie, too?” “Take it easy, dear,” says Aunt Smiley. “It’s just a joke. I think. Right, Jamie?”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“Okay, so how, exactly, did I get into this mess—up onstage at a comedy club, baking like a bag of French fries under a hot spotlight that shows off my sweat stains( including one that sort of looks like Jabba the Hutt), with about a thousand beady eyeballs drilling into me?”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“Stevie Kosgrov is my very own somewhat demented Dudley Dursley—if Dudley had muscles and serious BO issues and knew how to jam people’s heads down toilets to give them a swirly. Yes,”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“Chapter 16 ME AND MY CRAZY FRIENDS Yes, the other Smileys finally came home and, yes, my body finally thawed out. (Now”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“It was at night,” I say. “What was?” “What happened. The car wreck. We were driving along the Storm King Highway.” “Where’s that?” “Oh, it’s one of the most scenic drives in the whole state,” I say, somewhat sarcastically. “Route 218. The road that connects West Point and Cornwall up in the Highlands on the west side of the Hudson River. It’s narrow and curvy and hangs off the cliffs on the side of Storm King Mountain. An extremely twisty two-lane road. With a lookout point and a picturesque stone wall to stop you from tumbling off into the river. Motorcycle guys love Route 218.” We stop moving forward and pause under a streetlamp. “But if you ask me, they shouldn’t let trucks use that road.” Cool Girl looks at me. “Go on, Jamie,” she says gently. And so I do. “Like I said, it was night. And it was raining. We’d gone to West Point to take the tour, have a picnic. It was a beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky until the tour was over, and then it started pouring. Guess we stayed too late. Me, my mom, my dad.” Now I bite back the tears. “My little sister. Jenny. You would’ve liked Jenny. She was always happy. Always laughing. “We were on a curve. All of a sudden, this truck comes around the side of the cliff. It’s halfway in our lane and fishtailing on account of the slick road. My dad slams on the brakes. Swerves right. We smash into a stone fence and bounce off it like we’re playing wall ball. The hood of our car slides under the truck, right in front of its rear tires—tires that are smoking and screaming and trying to stop spinning.” I see it all again. In slow motion. The detail never goes away. “They all died,” I finally say. “My mother, my father, my little sister. I was the lucky one. I was the only one who survived.”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“However, I had been hoping that Donald Trump would just drop me off in one of his helicopters.”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
James Patterson
Born place: in Newburgh, New York, The United States
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“To be a joke, it was too cruel;
But to be true, it was absurd…
My mind seemed to have got the fuel
It needed to become alert.”
― Tatyana K. Varenko, quote from Ordeal
“It's hard to be done a favor by a man you hate. It's hard to hate him so much afterwards. Losing an enemy can be worse than losing a friend, if you've had him for long enough.”
― Joe Abercrombie, quote from Last Argument of Kings
“Kaushik, what about a picture?” my father suggested. I shook my head. I had left my camera, my father’s old Yashica, at school. “But you always have it with you.” That look of irritated disappointment, the one that had appeared the day my mother died and was missing now that he’d married Chitra, passed briefly across my father’s face. “I forgot it,” I said. It was true, I did always have the camera with me. Even on quiet weekends when I came home and my father and I saw no one I would bring it, taking it with me on walks. This time I had left it behind, knowing that I would not want to document anything. “I don’t understand,” my father said. “Neither do I,” I replied. “You haven’t wanted a picture of anything in years.” “That’s not true.” “It is.” We were stating facts and at the same time arguing, an argument whose depths only he and I could fully comprehend.”
― Jhumpa Lahiri, quote from Unaccustomed Earth
“By defining faith (Gk. pistis) as “assurance” and “conviction,” the author indicates that biblical faith is not a vague hope grounded in imaginary, wishful thinking. Instead, faith is a settled confidence that something in the future—something that is not yet seen but has been promised by God—will actually come to pass because God will bring it about. Thus biblical faith is not blind trust in the face of contrary evidence, not an unknowable “leap in the dark”; rather, biblical faith is a confident trust in the eternal God who is all-powerful, infinitely wise, eternally trustworthy—the God who has revealed himself in his word and in the person of Jesus Christ, whose promises have proven true from generation to generation, and who will “never leave nor forsake” his own”
― quote from ESV Study Bible
“I remembered my little brother, Allyn, had appeared so innocent and angelic when he slept--similar to Kerrick. It must be a survival tactic. If Allyn hadn't looked so sweet, we would have killed him while he slept. He had been pure evil when he was awake--similar to Kerrick.”
― Maria V. Snyder, quote from Touch of Power
The High King's Tomb
Heavenly
Left Neglected
Morning Glory
Reckless Magic
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