James Patterson · 320 pages
Rating: (9K votes)
“Have you ever done something extremely stupid like, oh, I don’t know, try to make a room filled with total strangers laugh until their sides hurt? Totally”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life doing something, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“wanted that to be my bedroom,” he says. “It’d be so easy to sneak out at night to TP yards, egg cars, and punch people.” Yes, Stevie has an active social life.”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“A lot healthier than getting socked in the stomach. Especially if you had a big breakfast.”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“Yes, I have a very small and mostly nerdy fan club. And much to my amazement, it grows a little larger every day. Apparently, these new recruits liked what they saw of my act on YouTube (even though everybody wishes that doofus blocking the camera had a smaller head).”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“The school crossing guard is a zombie?” screams the youngest Smiley. Then she starts crying. “I hugged her once, Mommy! Am I gonna turn into a zombie, too?” “Take it easy, dear,” says Aunt Smiley. “It’s just a joke. I think. Right, Jamie?”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“Okay, so how, exactly, did I get into this mess—up onstage at a comedy club, baking like a bag of French fries under a hot spotlight that shows off my sweat stains( including one that sort of looks like Jabba the Hutt), with about a thousand beady eyeballs drilling into me?”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“Stevie Kosgrov is my very own somewhat demented Dudley Dursley—if Dudley had muscles and serious BO issues and knew how to jam people’s heads down toilets to give them a swirly. Yes,”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“Chapter 16 ME AND MY CRAZY FRIENDS Yes, the other Smileys finally came home and, yes, my body finally thawed out. (Now”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“It was at night,” I say. “What was?” “What happened. The car wreck. We were driving along the Storm King Highway.” “Where’s that?” “Oh, it’s one of the most scenic drives in the whole state,” I say, somewhat sarcastically. “Route 218. The road that connects West Point and Cornwall up in the Highlands on the west side of the Hudson River. It’s narrow and curvy and hangs off the cliffs on the side of Storm King Mountain. An extremely twisty two-lane road. With a lookout point and a picturesque stone wall to stop you from tumbling off into the river. Motorcycle guys love Route 218.” We stop moving forward and pause under a streetlamp. “But if you ask me, they shouldn’t let trucks use that road.” Cool Girl looks at me. “Go on, Jamie,” she says gently. And so I do. “Like I said, it was night. And it was raining. We’d gone to West Point to take the tour, have a picnic. It was a beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky until the tour was over, and then it started pouring. Guess we stayed too late. Me, my mom, my dad.” Now I bite back the tears. “My little sister. Jenny. You would’ve liked Jenny. She was always happy. Always laughing. “We were on a curve. All of a sudden, this truck comes around the side of the cliff. It’s halfway in our lane and fishtailing on account of the slick road. My dad slams on the brakes. Swerves right. We smash into a stone fence and bounce off it like we’re playing wall ball. The hood of our car slides under the truck, right in front of its rear tires—tires that are smoking and screaming and trying to stop spinning.” I see it all again. In slow motion. The detail never goes away. “They all died,” I finally say. “My mother, my father, my little sister. I was the lucky one. I was the only one who survived.”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
“However, I had been hoping that Donald Trump would just drop me off in one of his helicopters.”
― James Patterson, quote from I Funny: A Middle School Story
James Patterson
Born place: in Newburgh, New York, The United States
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“Once, I was not called Tessa Gray but Tessa Herondale. In that time, in 1888, in East London, there was a string of terrible murders . . .”
― Cassandra Clare, quote from The Whitechapel Fiend
“Then he snarled at her. “You are not leaving me.”
It was an order, and she didn’t have to follow anyone’s orders. That was part of being Omega instead of a regular werewolf – who might have had a snowball’s chance in hell of being a proper mate.
“You need someone stronger,” Anna told him again. “So you wouldn’t have to hide when you’re hurt. So you could trust your mate to take care of herself and help, damn it, instead of having to protect me from whatever you are hiding.” She hated crying. Tears were weaknesses that could be exploited and they never solved a damned thing. Sobs gathered in her chest like a rushing tide and she needed to get away from him before she broke.
Instead of fighting his grip, she tried to slide out of it. “I need to go,” she said to his chest. “I need–”
His mouth closed over hers, hot and hungry, warming her mouth as his body warmed her body.
“Me,” Charles said, his voice dark and gravelly as if it had traveled up from the bottom of the earth, his eyes a bright gold. “You need me.”
― Patricia Briggs, quote from Fair Game
“For he was firmly of the conviction that the body was more susceptible to disease without the presence of love to warm the organs.”
― Julia Stuart, quote from The Tower, The Zoo, and The Tortoise
“And any ending that may seem to come is not truly an ending, but an illusion. For Time does not die, Time has neither beginning nor end, and so nothing can end or die that has once had a place in Time.”
― Susan Cooper, quote from Silver on the Tree
“Snow in April is abominable," said Anne. "Like a slap in the face when you expected a kiss.”
― L.M. Montgomery, quote from Anne of Ingleside
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