Quotes from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“...The more modest and impractical the kitchen, the more likely one will be invited to stay for a meal. Show me a fancy house with a top-of-the-line gourmet kitchen, and I'll show you a family that eats out a lot.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“It's not what we eat or don't eat that makes us good people; it's how we treat one another. As you grow older, you'll find that people of every religion think they're the best, but that's not true. There are good and bad people in every religion. Just because someone is Muslim, Jewish, or Christian doesn't mean a thing. You have to look and see what's in their hearts. That's the only thing that matters, and that's the only detail God cares about.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“During his next visit, my father secretly decided that our bathroom needed towel hooks. Using nails that were too long, my father pierced the door, creating towel hooks on one side, medieval blinding devices on the other...No matter how inconvenient a household malfunction might be, Kazem can always make it worse, for free.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“I was a VIP, a Very Iranian Person, and things just take longer for us.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“Any gift from a true friend is valuable, even if it’s a hollow walnut shell.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“Throughout his job ordeal, my father never complained. He remained an Iranian who loved his native country but who also believed in American ideals. He only said how sad it was that people so easily hate an entire population simply because of the actions of a few. And what a waste it is to hate, he always said. What a waste.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“Swimsuit competitions go against everything that is right and decent in this world. We're told that beauty is on the inside and that who we are matters far more than what we look like. But could you please just put on this bikini and walk around on high heels so I can judge your inner beauty?”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“I always made sure to put them back in the exact order in which I had found them, for fear of losing the privilege of browsing in my uncle’s library.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“My parents do not limit themselves to worrying about things that have actually happened. Dreams are also fair game. I often get phone calls with detailed descriptions of a dream, followed by "So naturally, I had to call to make sure you were okay and there wasn't a reason why I dreamed of you trapped in a canoe with a blue turtle.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“The Limoges set has brought us more joy in its absence than it ever did in our cupboards. Of course, we no longer own a set of china to pass down to our kids, but that's okay. Francois and I plan on giving our children something more valuable, the simple truth that the best way to go through life is to be a major donor of kindness. We'll tell them that it's possible to own a whole bunch of beautiful, valuable things and still be miserable. But sometimes just having a recipe for chocolate Bunt cake can make a person far, far happier.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“Shushtari proverb “Any gift from a true friend is valuable, even if it’s a hollow walnut shell.” It”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“Despite a few exceptions, I have found that Americans are now far more willing to learn new names, just as they're far more willing to try new ethnic foods... It's like adding a few new spices to the kitchen pantry.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“I knew what he was thinking. Thanks to Mickey, I had been elevated from child-who-can’t-learn-to-swim to child genius. The”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“ایرانی‌ها همیشه سوئیس را اوج مدنیت تصور کرده‌اند: کشوری کوچک و تمیز که لازم نیست رانندگان اتوبوس بلیت‌ها را کنترل کنند چون همه مردم درستکار هستند. به علاوه سوئیس هیچ وقت از ایرانی‌ها استقبال نکرده که این هم جاذبه‌ای می‌سازد مثل باقی چیزهای سخت‌یاب”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“بیشتر میوه‌ها اگر روی درخت به حال خود گذاشته شوند بالاخره می‌رسند”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“It seemed to me that life in America was one long series of festivities, all of them celebrated with merriment and chocolate. The”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“A fruit basket would have been nice, but instead we found that a flyer had been slipped under the door. Dear Brainwashed Cowards, You are nothing but puppets of the corrupt Shah. We will teach you a lesson you will never forget. Death to the Shah. Death to you. My father crumpled the flyer and threw it away. “Let’s find out where they’re having the dinner buffet,” he said.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“I truly believe that everyone has a story and everyone's story counts.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“Shushtari proverb “Any gift from a true friend is valuable, even if it’s a hollow walnut shell.” It’s fair to say that the Shushtari floating in my house”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“We had always known that ours is a small country and that America is very big. But even as a seven-year-old, I was surprised that so many Americans has never noticed us on the map. Perhaps it's like driving a Yugo and realizing that the eighteen-wheeler can's see you.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“Asking my father to ask the waitress the definition of “sloppy Joe” or “Tater Tots” was no problem. His translations, however, were highly suspect.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“At some point, someone must have yelled “Good job, Kaz!,” which my father interpreted as “You should go on television and win a fortune!” Bowling”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“Is that boy from your country?” she asked me. “Why, yes,” I wanted to tell her. “In my country, which I own, this is National Lose Your Child at Disneyland Day.” “No,” I told her. “He’s not from my country.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“A couple of days of this powdered cuisine and my uncle actually lost a few pounds. Things were going well until he decided that adding a couple of scoops of Baskin-Robbins improved the flavor substantially. Following”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“During our stay in Newport Beach, the Iranian Revolution took place and a group of Americans were taken hostage in the American embassy in Tehran. Overnight, Iranians living in America became, to say the least, very unpopular. For some reason, many Americans began to think that all Iranians, despite outward appearances to the contrary, could at any given moment get angry and take prisoners.”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

“On our second day, my parents announced that Kauai was boring. “There’s nothing to look at, just plants and rainbows,” my father declared. “There are no stores,” added my mother. Instead of staying for another week, we left the next day. The”
― Firoozeh Dumas, quote from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America

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Popular quotes

“I think she cried at my funeral. It's not that I'm conceited or anything, but I'm pretty sure. Sometimes I can actually picture her talking about me to some guy she feels close to. Talking about me dying. About how they lowered me into the grave, kind of shrivelled up and pitiful, like an old chocolate bar. About how we never really got a chance. And afterwards the guy fucks her, a fuck that's all about making her feel better.”
― Etgar Keret, quote from The Bus Driver Who Wanted to be God & Other Stories

“St. Leonard’s Police Station DS Siobhan Clarke (pronounced “Shiv-awn”) DI Derek Linford no friend to Rebus, disliked by Siobhan DCS Gill Templer officer in charge of St. Leonard’s DC David Hynds a new recruit DS George “Hi-Ho” Silvers officer with both eyes on approaching pension DC Grant Hood young and unpredictable officer with a crush on Siobhan DC Phyllida Hawes tough female officer, usually based at Gayfield Square DCI Bill Pryde second in command to DCS Gill Templer The Edward Marber Murder Case Edward Marber murdered Edinburgh art dealer Cynthia Bessant friend of the”
― Ian Rankin, quote from Resurrection Men

“Let us not, however, exaggerate our power. Whatever man does, the great lines of creation persist; the supreme mass does not depend on man. He has power over the detail, not over the whole. And it is right that this should be so. The Whole is providential. Its laws pass over our head. What we do goes no farther than the surface. Man clothes or unclothes the earth; clearing a forest is like taking off a garment. But to slow down the rotation of the globe on its axis, to accelerate the course of the globe on its orbit, to add or subtract a fathom on he earth's daily journey of 718,000 leagues around the sun, to modify the precession of the equinoxes, to eliminate one drop of rain--never! What is on high remains on high. Man can change the climate, but not the seasons Just try and make the moon revolve anywhere but in the ecliptic!

Dreamers, some of them illustrious, have dreamed of restoring perpetual spring to the earth. The extreme seasons, summer and winter, are produced by the excess of the inclination of the earth's axis over the place of the ecliptic of which we have just spoken. In order to eliminate the seasons it would be necessary only to straighten this axis. Nothing could be simpler. Just plant a stake on the Pole and drive it in to the center of the globe; attach a chain to it; find a base outside the earth; have 10 billion teams, each of 10 billion horses, and get them to pull. THe axis will straighten up, ad you will have your spring. As you can see, an easy task.

We must look elsewhere for Eden. Spring is good; but freedom and justice are beter. Eden is moral, not material.

To be free and just depends on ourselves.”
― Victor Hugo, quote from The Toilers of the Sea

“My dear, I'm seldom sure of anything. Life at best is a precarious business, and we aren't told that difficult or painful things won't happen, just that it matters. It matters not just to us but to the entire universe.”
― Madeleine L'Engle, quote from An Acceptable Time

“But with regard to incomposites, what is being or not being, and truth or falsity? A thing of this sort is not composite, so as to 'be' when it is compounded, and not to 'be' if it is separated, like 'that the wood is white' or 'that the diagonal is incommensurable'; nor will truth and falsity be still present in the same way as in the previous cases. In fact, as truth is not the same in these cases, so also being is not the same; but (a) truth or falsity is as follows--contact and assertion are truth (assertion not being the same as affirmation), and ignorance is non-contact. For it is not possible to be in error regarding the question what a thing is, save in an accidental sense; and the same holds good regarding non-composite substances (for it is not possible to be in error about them). And they all exist actually, not potentially; for otherwise they would have come to be and ceased to be; but, as it is, being itself does not come to be (nor cease to be); for if it had done so it would have had to come out of something. About the things, then, which are essences and actualities, it is not possible to be in error, but only to know them or not to know them. But we do inquire what they are, viz. whether they are of such and such a nature or not.”
― Aristotle, quote from Metaphysics

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