Umberto Eco · 248 pages
Rating: (4.3K votes)
“American coffee can be a pale solution served at a temperature of 100
degrees centigrade in plastic thermos cups, usually obligatory in railroad
stations for purposes of genocide, whereas coffee made with an American
percolator, such as you find in private houses or in humble luncheonettes,
served with eggs and bacon, is delicious, fragrant, goes down like pure
spring water, and afterwards causes severe palpitations, because one cup
contains more caffeine than four espressos.”
“A writer writes for writers, a non-writer writes for his next-door neighbor or for the manager of the local bank branch, and he fears (often mistakenly) that they would not understand or, in any case, would not forgive his boldness.”
“To make them forget how bad human beings are, they were taught too insistently that bears are good. Instead of being told honestly what humans are and what bears are.”
“What is a saint supposed to do, if not convert wolves?”
“Will we be happier afterwards? Or will be have lost the freshness of those who are privileged to experience art as real life, where we enter after the trumps have been played, and we leave without knowing who's going to win or lose the game?”
“For such is the fate of parody: it must never fear exaggerating. If it strikes home, it will only prefigure something that others will then do without a smile--and without a blush--in steadfast virile seriousness.”
“But if Mother Theresa went to collect all the prizes she is awarded, the death rate in Calcutta would soar.”
“Çocukluk yıllarım boyunca, tanıştığım bütün insanların, kaderin bir oyunu olarak, ahmak olduğuna inanmıştım.”
“Colorless green ideas sleep furiously
three old owls on a chest of drawers
the daughter of the doctor.
But then the mother called them,
colorless green ideas slepp furiously.”
“The taxi driver is someone who spends all day driving in city traffic (an activity that provokes either heart attack or delirium), in constant conflict with other human drivers. Consequently, he is nervous and hates every anthropomorphic creature.”
“Vrčevi za kavu koje koriste normalni ljudi - ili one dobre stare kafetijere iz kojih se miomirisno piće izlijevalo
izravno u šalicu- kavi omogućuju izlazak kroz tanku cijev ili kljunčić, a gornji dio raspolaže bilo kakvim zaštitnim uređajem koji ih drži zatvorenima. U Grand Hôtelu i spavaćim kolima kava-bućkuriš stiže, naprotiv, u vrču s izrazito širokim kljunom, kao u pelikana, s krajnje pomičnim poklopcem, tako pomno izrađenim da ~ privučen nezadrživim horror vacui - automatski sklizne prema dolje tek što ste vrč neznatno nagnuli. Ta dva lukava izuma omogućuju ukletom vrču da polovicu kave odmah izlije na croissante i marmeladu te zahvaljujući klizanju poklopca. ostatak proliie po posteljini.”
“It was like he'd sprung fully-formed from my eighteen-year-old fantasies, the hot History teacher who just couldn't help himself.”
“I think the purest of souls, those with the most fragile of hearts, must be meant for a short life. They can't be tethered or held in your palm. Just like a sparrow, they light on your porch. Their song might be brief, but how greedy would we be to ask for more? No, you cannot keep a sparrow. You can only hope that as they fly away, they take a little bit of you with them.”
“So on Christmas morning I was up at five o'clock, making the fire as bright as a furnace, baking minc'd pies and boiling plum puddings the size of Medici cannonballs, and setting three sides of roast beef to turn on the spits. Soon I breathed again that steam that tells the soul it is Christmas, and all the year' work done, and time for feasting; the smell of oranges, sugarplums and cloves, all mingled with roasting meats.”
“Words can be sweetly encouraging or downright dirty, but they are almost always a powerful aphrodisiac. –Dr. Ruth”
“Suffering is humbling. It pays to know how to get your butt kicked.”
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