Simone Elkeles · 234 pages
Rating: (9.8K votes)
“And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours.”
― Simone Elkeles, quote from How to Ruin a Summer Vacation
“Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.”
― Simone Elkeles, quote from How to Ruin a Summer Vacation
“Sometimes we have to prove to others we're strong even where we're not.”
― Simone Elkeles, quote from How to Ruin a Summer Vacation
“Believe me, I know people who have doting Grandmas. Jessica's Grandma Pearl spent four years knitting her a blanket. Four years! And she's got arthritis. I wonder what Grandma Pearl would think if she knew Jessica lost her virginity to Michael Greenberg under the blanket she spent four years knitting with her crooked fingers.”
― Simone Elkeles, quote from How to Ruin a Summer Vacation
“The threat of taking something away makes us appreciate it more.”
― Simone Elkeles, quote from How to Ruin a Summer Vacation
“The end of one thing is just the beginning of another.”
― Simone Elkeles, quote from How to Ruin a Summer Vacation
“You can run from some problems, but then you get caught up in others.”
― Simone Elkeles, quote from How to Ruin a Summer Vacation
“—Ser judía es más algo de tu corazón que de tu mente. Para algunos, ser judío es seguir estrictamente las leyes y las costumbres de nuestros antepasados. Para otros, es ser parte de una comunidad. La religión es muy personal. Siempre estaré allí para ti si quieres o lo necesitas. Puedes elegir adoptar el judaísmo o decidir que tu vida no lo necesita. Nadie puede imponer la religión en ti o ésta no será real.”
― Simone Elkeles, quote from How to Ruin a Summer Vacation
Simone Elkeles
Born place: Chicago, IL, The United States
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“Augie: Does everybody else know?
T.C.: About my epitaph?
Augie: About me being gay, you gink-head hoser-face!
T.C. Not everybody. There's a night watchman at a Dunkin Donuts just outside of Detroit. He doesn't know yet.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from My Most Excellent Year
“So what do you guys want to do first?” Claire asked excitedly from the backseat.
“Oh my God, Claire. I don’t know, but maybe you should ask us again in five minutes. We haven’t had enough time to think about it since the last time you asked.” Chelsea’s mood had gone downhill quickly during the car ride into the mountains, and she had lost her patience for everyone-including Claire-who was usually safe from her temper.
“Effin’-A, Chels, I was just asking.” Claire’s lips drew together tightly as she crossed her arms in front of her. It was as close to swearing as Claire ever got. Claire must have really been tired of Chelsea’s snippy tone.
Chelsea didn’t apologize; instead she closed her eyes and took another deep breath, leaning her head back against her seat.
“Do you want me to pull over again?” Jay asked, glancing anxiously at Chelsea in his rearview mirror. He shot a nervous look at Violet, and Violet knew exactly what he was thinking.
He didn’t want Chelsea to puke…in his car.
Chelsea sighed with annoyance. “Why, Jay? So I can walk around in the cold again, talking about how fucking-yeah, that’s right, Claire, I said fucking-sick I feel? No, thank you. Just keep driving. The sooner we get there, the sooner I get out of this hellhole.”
“No offense taken. Right, Jay?” Mike laughed, hitting Jay’s headrest playfully. Apparently he thought he was safe from Chelsea’s caustic remarks.
He wasn’t.
“That’s too bad,” Chelsea shot back without opening her eyes. “Maybe someone should take offense. Maybe it’s not the car making me sick, maybe it’s the driving.”
Violet started to laugh but caught herself, just barely, in time to stop the sound from actually escaping her lips. She covered her mouth with her hand so that only those with their eyes open could see her.
Ha-ha, Jay mouthed, when she glanced sideways in his direction, making it even harder to contain herself.
Sorry, she mouthed back to him, when she finally felt like she had enough control not to laugh.”
― Kimberly Derting, quote from Desires of the Dead
“Racists violate the principle of equality by giving greater weight to the interests of members of their own race when there is a clash between their interests and the interests of those of another race. Sexists violate the principle of equality by favoring the interests of their own sex. Similarly, speciesists allow the interests of their own species to override the greater interests of members of other species. The pattern is identical in each case. Most”
― Peter Singer, quote from Animal Liberation
“he was a collector rather than a hunter, buying his knowledge rather than seeking it with his own eyes and hands. I”
― Tracy Chevalier, quote from Remarkable Creatures
“You mean to tell me,’ I said, ‘that every time I pleasure a young lady, I shoot into her two thousand million spermatozoa?’ ‘Absolutely.’ ‘All squiggling and squirming and thrashing about?’ ‘Of course.’ ‘No wonder it gives her a charge,’ I said. A.”
― Roald Dahl, quote from My Uncle Oswald
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