“Loving you meant loving every part of you, the good and the bad, the easy and the hard.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“It's a strange thing, feeling like you can't breathe without another person. Physically, I know I'm breathing and my heart is beating when she's not around, but in my soul, it feels a movie that's been paused, waiting for someone to come back into the room. When I'm away from her, I feel like my life is on hold and she's the only one who can restart it.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“You are always the light in my darkness. You’re the reason I’m alive, you’re the reason I’m here and you’re the reason I breathe, every day.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“The mind is a great and powerful thing, bisected with hallways of darkness and corners of light. Memories can alternately fill your life with joy and happiness and cloud every moment with nightmares and fear, making you second-guess all of the good things and wonder if they were ever real.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“To get to the good, sometimes you have to live through the bad.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“How many people get a second chance at love with the only person they’ve ever held in their heart?”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“When you’ve been hurt once, it’s so hard to let go and not be afraid you won’t be hurt again.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“I’m going to kick down that fucking door at the end of the long, dark hallway and show everyone that I deserve the light.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“I hate every moment that I’m away from her, but I will do whatever it takes to find the man she once loved and bring him back to her.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“I’m going to remind her why we’re perfect for each other. I’m going to show her that there’s no one else on this earth that can love her like I can.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“You make everything perfect, Lucy. You’re my light and my life and all I need is your love to guide me home, no matter where I go.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“This is where my story begins. Or ends. I can never really decide.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“You can’t stop fighting, Lucy. You can never stop fighting for something you love and something you believe in.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“We’re done, this is over. I’m packing your shit and you’re leaving.” I’m sorry, I love you, please forgive me. “Everything is fucked up, don’t you get that? It’s ruined, all of it is ruined and you need to fucking leave.” I’m so sorry, I love you, please forgive me. “You need to get a life.” I’m sorry, I love you, please forgive me. “All those sad, pathetic letters.” I’m lying, don’t believe me, please don’t believe me. I loved your letters, I kept them all and I cherish every one of them. “I prefer women with a little more experience.” I don’t mean it. I don’t mean any of it. Knowing I’m the only man who has ever been inside of you makes me feel like a fucking king and the luckiest man alive. I’m sorry, I love you, please forgive me. “It doesn’t get better when I come home to you. I hate this life.” I’m lying! Every word is a lie. I love our life and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I love you, I love you, I love you.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“I love the way you look at me. I love the way you love me. No matter what, I will always find my way back to you,”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“I would do anything for him, even if it meant sacrificing something of myself.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“Maybe it’s Lucy. Maybe she ignored everything I said to her and came back to me. I know it’s wrong and she shouldn’t be here, but I just need her right now. I can see her one more time and then I’ll leave and I’ll walk away. She doesn’t feel the same and she doesn’t smell the same, but none of that matters. Her legs straddle my thighs and I clutch onto her ass, pulling her closer so she doesn’t change her mind and walk away. I don’t like her voice. It’s not the same soft, sweet cadence that always makes my ears tingle and my heart beat fast. It’s probably because my heart died and there’s nothing inside my chest but a shriveled up, useless organ. This voice is shrill and annoying. Lucy is changing right before me, but I don’t care. It’s my fault, anyway. It’s my fault she’s different and doesn’t feel the same or smell the same. I changed her, I hurt her…all my fault. She doesn’t taste the same and I hate it. I want my Lucy, not this drunken, morphed version of her. I hear angry shouts and the shuffling of feet and the Lucy on my lap speaks again and it makes me wince. I want to tell her to stop talking like that. Stop talking in a different voice, stop smelling different, stop feeling different…just stop it. Be MY Lucy. I need MY Lucy. I’m not a hero, I’m not a good man, I’m not a good husband…I am none of those things and they need to see that.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“I don’t blame her for walking away; I shoved her out the door and told her to go. I should have realized that she was my light. She was everything bright and beautiful about my life and it went to shit after she left. I’m going to fix this. I have to fix this.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“I’m sorry I went away, but I DID find my way back to you and I’m never fucking leaving again.” ... “It’s always been you. It will ALWAYS, only be you,”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“There’s a light that guides all of us to where we’re meant to be. You’re meant to be with me, Lucy. Please… be with me.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“The mind is a great and powerful thing, bisected with hallways of darkness and corners of light.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“Dear Fisher, I guess this is it, huh? After almost fourteen years together, starting a life of our own on this island, five tours of duty and countless letters I’ve written you through it all, I finally go out to the mailbox and see something I’ve always dreamed of: an envelope with your handwriting on it. For one moment, I actually thought you’d changed your mind. That all the awful things you said to me were just your way of coping after everything you’d been through. I was still here, Fisher. I was still here, holding my breath, waiting for you to come back even though you told me you never would. You always said you’d find your way back to me. Out of all the lies you’ve told me, this one hurts the most. Enclosed you will find the signed divorce papers, as requested. I hope you find what you’re looking for. I’m sorry it wasn’t me. Lucy”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“My dick instantly springs to life inside my jeans. I can’t help it. When Lucy gets fired up, I get turned on. It’s like some Pavlov’s dog shit.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“Someday, down the line, I’m going to marry you by that lighthouse. We’ll just renew our vows or something,” I tell her.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“No matter what, I will always find my way back to you.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“He loved me so much and, even during his darkest time, he never lost sight of that. I let a few words from a woman who means NOTHING to me make me lose my faith in him. I’m such a coward and a fool. I had the proof of his love right in front of me this entire time and I refused to believe it. When you’ve been hurt once, it’s so hard to let go and not be afraid you won’t be hurt again”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“Lucy in the sky with diamonds. Aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes?”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“The tears pool in my eyes and fall down my face. I love her so much and all I’m doing is hurting her. The one person in my life who never lets me down and all I keep doing is breaking her apart. I let her down every time I leave, I let her down every time she has to handle something alone, I let her down when I come home and I’m not myself because I’m still stuck in a place halfway across the world”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“—I’m so happy for you, Ellie— I tell her honestly.
—I’m happy for me, too — she tells me with another laugh.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
“I don’t deserve her forgiveness. I never deserved her to begin with, so now she’ll be free to find security and happiness without having to worry about the broken man she married who can never be fixed.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Fisher's Light
Tara Sivec
Born place: in The United States
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“I thought about how in movies, usually action movies, a cheap way of getting the audience to invest in the plot is to endanger the life of a dog. There can be fifty men graphically terminated by machine-gun fire or an entire building full of workers destroyed, but no one will stand for a cute little dog being killed. And almost always, the dog's life is spared to the relief of the audience.”
― quote from Torture the Artist. Joey Goebel
“Knowing yourself now requires the understanding that the conscious you occupies only a small room in the mansion of the brain, and that it has little control over the reality constructed for you.”
― David Eagleman, quote from Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain
“No, no! The adventures first, explanations take such a dreadful time.”
― Lewis Carroll, quote from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass
“This is why, rather than go on talking, I felt the need to transform the things to be said into a cone of light hurled at a hundred miles an hour, to transform myself into this cone of light moving over the superhighway, because it is certain that such a signal can be received and understood by her without being lost in the ambiguous disorder of secondary vibrations, just as I, to receive and understand the things she has to say to me, would like them to be only (rather, I would like her to be only) this cone of light I see advancing on the superhighway at a speed (I'm guessing, at a glance) of eighty or ninety. What counts is communicating the indispensable, skipping all the superfluous, reducing ourselves to essential communication, to a luminous signal that moves in a given direction, abolishing the complexity of our personalities and situations and facial expressions, leaving them in the shadowy container that the headlights carry behind them and conceal. The Y I love is really that moving band of luminous rays, and all the rest of her can remain implicit; and the me that she can love, the me that has the power of entering that circuit of exaltation which is her affective life, in the flashing of this pass which, through love of her and with a certain risk, I am now attempting.”
― Italo Calvino, quote from The Complete Cosmicomics
“The threads of problems dangled in front of me, and I tried to think of a way to weave them into a solution. I”
― Kiran Millwood Hargrave, quote from The Girl of Ink and Stars
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