The Incarnations

No matter how dilapidated, scarred and mutilated your body, I have always found you beautiful, for it is the soul beneath I seek.

In the end, how much distance lies between the truth and what we believe to be true? Between the things we feel at one time and the things we end up doing?

I would have fallen down long ago and let the ground drink the blood of my slit throat, were it not for you. So long as you are by my side, I can endure. You ease the stoned-to-death feeling in my soul.

Why does she hate me so much?” I ask. I expect you to say it’s because Long March is a staunch Communist and vigilant with class enemies. But instead you say, “Long March is an unhappy person. People who are unhappy often hurt others.” I consider this, and then say dismally, “But I am unhappy. I don’t go around bullying people.” “That’s because you haven’t had the chance.” Then you are gone. Pedalling up Vinegar Makers Alley to catch up with your friends, leaving me with the pale wisps of your strange remark lingering in the freezing air. *

I clench my fist around your stiffness, and your breathing quickens as I draw it back and forth. After your warm, sticky release, I lick my hand clean. Then I bury my face in your wild, stinking hair and hold you. To hold you is to be at one with you. To be at one with the starry cosmos of ancient gods above. As I hold you I will the night never to end. For our oneness fades with the disappearing stars. And by daylight you are other again.

A news bulletin on the radio speaks of a public ban on spitting, swearing, smoking and queue-jumping during the Olympics. The Four Pests, the campaign has been called, after the Mao-era policy to eradicate sparrows, mosquitoes, flies and rats. Wang remembers Shuxiang telling him how, during her childhood, gangs of children chased sparrows from tree to tree, banging tin trays until the birds fell out of the sky, too exhausted to beat their wings and fly.

What's the good of one person clinging to his morals when everyone else is so corrupt? What's the good of that?