“Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“There's a door."
"Where does it go?"
"It stays where it is, I think.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“Any wizard bright enough to survive for five minutes was also bright enough to realize that if there was any power in demonology, then it lay with the demons. Using it for your own purposes would be like trying to beat mice to death with a rattlesnake.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“What're quantum mechanics?"
"I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“These people were not only cheering, they were throwing flowers and hats. The hats were made of stone, but the thought was there.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“Hell needed horribly bright, self-centered people like Eric. They were much better at being nasty than demons could ever manage”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“The fact was that, as droves of demon kings had noticed, there was a limit to what you could do to a soul with, e.g., red-hot tweezers, because even fairly evil and corrupt souls were bright enough to realize that since they didn't have the concomitant body and nerve endings attached to them there was no real reason, other than force of habit, why they should suffer excruciating agony. So they didn't. Demons went on doing it anyway, because numb and mindless stupidity is part of what being a demon is all about, but since no one was suffering they didn't enjoy it much either and the whole thing was pointless. Centuries and centuries of pointlessness.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“No enemies had ever taken Ankh-Morpork. Well technically they had, quite often; the city welcomed free-spending barbarian invaders, but somehow the puzzled raiders found, after a few days, that they didn't own their horses any more, and within a couple of months they were just another minority group with its own graffiti and food shops.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“Rincewind trudged back up the beach. "The trouble is," he said, "is that things never get better, they just stay the same, only more so.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“Rincewind gave his fingers a long shocked stare, as one might regard a gun that has been hanging on the wall for decades and has suddenly gone off and perforated the cat.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“The Tezuman priests have a sophisticated calendar and an advanced horology," quoted Rincewind.
"Ah," said Eric, "Good."
"No," said Rincewind patiently. "It means time measurement."
"Oh.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“You always knew where you stood with Quezovercoatl. It was generally with a lot of people on top of a great stepped pyramid with someone in an elegant feathered headdress chipping an exquisite obsidian knife for your very own personal use.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“the whole point of the wish business was to see to it that what the client got was exactly what he asked for and exactly what he didn't really want.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“The captain glared at him. The sergeant put on the poker face that has been handed down from NCO to NCO ever since one protoamphibian told another, lower-ranking protoamphibian to muster a squad of newts and Take That Beach.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“Demons have existed on the Discworld for at least as long as the gods, who in many ways they closely resemble. The difference is basically the same as that between terrorists and freedom fighters.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“... the damned had been given that insight which makes hardship so easy to bear — the absolute and certain knowledge that things could be worse.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“Rincewind wasn't used to people being pleased to see him. It was unnatural, and boded no good. These people were not only cheering, they were throwing flowers and hats. The hats were made out of stone, but the thought was there.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“At least nothing particularly dreadful was happening to him right now. Probably it was only a matter of time.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“No one’s going to be interested in a war fought over a, a quite pleasant lady, moderately attractive in a good light. Are they?” Eric was nearly in tears. “But it said her face launched a thousand ships—” “That’s what you call metaphor,” said Rincewind. “Lying,” the sergeant explained, kindly.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“Every inch of skin removed to the accompaniment of exquisite pain,” added the prisoner, helpfully. Rincewind paused. He thought he knew the meaning of the word “exquisite,” and it didn’t seem to belong anywhere near “pain.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“they poisoned all their priests and tried enlightened atheism instead, which still meant they could kill as many people as they liked but didn’t have to get up so early to do it. The”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“His voice gave out and he made several wavy motions with his hand, indicative of the shape of a woman who would probably be unable to keep her balance.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“...para darse cuenta de que cualquier poder que hubiera en la demonología lo tenían los demonios. Usarlo para tu propio beneficio sería como intentar matar ratones dándoles golpes con una serpiente de cascabel.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“Let’s just run through this again, shall we?” said the Demon King. He leaned back in his throne. “You happened to find the Tezumen one day and decided, I think I recall your words correctly, that they were ‘a bunch of Stone-Age no-hopers sitting around in a swamp being no trouble to anyone,’ am I right? Whereupon you entered the mind of one of their high priests—I believe at that time they worshipped a small stick—drove him insane and inspired the tribes to unite, terrorize their neighbors and bring forth upon the continent a new nation dedicated to the proposition that all men should be taken to the top of ceremonial pyramids and be chopped up with stone knives.” The King pulled his notes toward him. “Oh yes, some of them were also to be flayed alive,” he added. Quezovercoatl shuffled his feet. “Whereupon,” said the King, “they immediately engaged in a prolonged war with just about everyone else, bringing death and destruction to thousands of moderately blameless people, ekcetra, ekcetra. Now, look, this sort of thing has got to stop.” Quezovercoatl swayed back a bit. “It was only, you know, a hobby,” said the imp. “I thought, you know, it was the right thing, sort of thing. Death and destruction and that.” “You did, did you?” said the King. “Thousands of more-or-less innocent people dying? Straight out of our hands,” he snapped his fingers, “just like that. Straight off to their happy hunting ground or whatever. That’s the trouble with you people. You don’t think of the Big Picture. I mean, look at the Tezumen. Gloomy, unimaginative, obsessive…by now they could have invented a whole bureaucracy and taxation system that could have turned the minds of the continent to slag. Instead of which, they’re just a bunch of second-rate axe-murderers. What a waste.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
“We are in the damnation business!!!
And this, too, was a happiness. Of a sort.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Eric
Terry Pratchett
Born place: in Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire, England, The United Kingdom
Born date April 28, 1948
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“Max's lips part slightly, and mine do the same. His tongue inside my mouth makes fireworks of color burst behind my closed eyelids. We explore and taste each other again and again, until Max finally pulls away. I want more-- I think I could survive on nothing but his mouth for weeks--but I try not to let it show too much.”
― Lara Zielin, quote from The Waiting Sky
“I had to say it gave me a warm feeling to picture Meredith Winslow spending twenty years or so in an ill fitting orange jumpsuit, cozying up to a great big girl named Beulah”
― Kate Carlisle, quote from Homicide in Hardcover
“You should be nicer to him,' a schoolmate had once said to me of some awfully ill-favored boy. 'He has no friends.' This, I realized with a pang of pity that I can still remember, was only true as long as everybody agreed to it.”
― Christopher Hitchens, quote from Hitch-22: A Memoir
“But I thought you protested against the communists."
"Phooh. That was before I found our that capitalists are just communists without the polyester.”
― Brigid Pasulka, quote from A Long, Long Time Ago and Essentially True
“We are human in expression but divine in creation and limitless in potentiality.”
― quote from Discover the Power Within You
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