Quotes from the Book
There's no requirement that jobs be meaningful. If there was, half the country would be unemployed.
That's the thing you learn about values: they're what people make up to justify what they did.
Elizabeth is smart, ruthless, and emotionally damaged ... [i]f Elizabeth's brain was a person, it would have scars, tattoos, and be missing one eye.
You come to work every day but you hardly get to know anyone. I don't even know the names of half the people I see in the elevators. They say the company is a big family, but I don't know them. And even the people I do, like you two, and Elizabeth, and Roger - do I really? I mean, I like you guys, but we only ever talk about work. When I'm out with friends, or at home, I never talk about work. The other day, I tried to explain to my sister why it's such a huge deal that Elizabeth ate Roger's donut, and she thought I was insane. And you know what, I agreed with her. At home I couldn't even think why it mattered. Because I'm a different person at home. When I leave this place at night, I can feel myself changing. Like shifting gears in my head. And you guys don't know that; you just know what I'm like here, which is terrible, because I think I'm better away from work. I don't even like who I am here. Is that just me? Or is everyone different when they come to work? If they are, then what are they really like? How can we ever know? All we know are the Work People.
Monday morning and there's one less donut than there should be. Keen observers note the reduced mass straightaway but stay silent, because saying, 'Hey, is that only six donuts?' would betray their donut experience. It's not great for your career to be known as the person who can spot the difference between six and seven donuts at a glance.
Last month we had to sit through a presentation on eliminating redundancy, and it was a bunch of Power Point slides, plus a guy reading out what was on the slides, and then he gave us all hard copies. I don’t understand these things.
There are stories — legends, really — of the “steady job.” Old-timers gather graduates around the flickering light of a computer monitor and tell stories of how the company used to be, back when a job was for life, not just for the business cycle. … The graduates snicker. A steady job! They’ve never heard of such a thing.
Sales is a business of relationships, and you must cultivate customers with tenderness and love, like cabbages in winter, even if the customer is an egomaniacal asshole you want to hit with a shovel.
It is a building designed by committee: all they have been able to agree on is that it should be rectangular, have windows, and not fall over.
To succeed in sales, you need skills—not skills entirely consistent with moral integrity and emotional well-being, but skills nevertheless.
Last month we had to sit through a presentation on eliminating redundancy, and it was a bunch of PowerPoint slides, plus a guy reading out what was on the slides, and then he gave us all hard copies.
Watch on YouTube
About Max Barry
More by Max Barry
Book details
- Author
- Max Barry
- Genre
- Fiction
- Goodreads rating
- 3.76 (7k ratings) →
Keep reading
Managing Humans: Biting and Humorous Tales of a Software Engineering Manager
Peopleware: Productive Projects and Teams
Pour Your Heart Into It: How Starbucks Built a Company One Cup at a Time
To Sell is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others
Rework
Disclosure
The E-myth Revisited
Do Over: Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck
The Last Lecture
What the Dog Saw and Other Adventures
Winning
Radical Candor: Be a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity
The Imperfectionists
Mostly Harmless
Working: People Talk About What They Do All Day and How They Feel About What They Do
Bellwether
House Rules
Makers
Lock In
The Hard Thing About Hard Things: Building a Business When There Are No Easy Answers―Straight Talk on the Challenges of Entrepreneurship
One Hundred Names
The Escape Room
The Gun Seller
Making Money
Steve Jobs
The Rosie Effect
Snow Crash
Shades of Grey
Amp It Up: Leading for Hypergrowth by Raising Expectations, Increasing Urgency, and Elevating Intensity
It Worked for Me: In Life and Leadership
EntreLeadership: 20 Years of Practical Business Wisdom from the Trenches
Microserfs
The Effective Executive: The Definitive Guide to Getting the Right Things Done
Hackers & Painters: Big Ideas from the Computer Age
Getting There: A Book of Mentors
Friday
The Art of Thinking Clearly
Flight Behavior
The Fortunes of Indigo Skye
The Eyre Affair
The Downstairs Girl
Think Like a Freak
The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-first Century
The Intern's Handbook
Worm
A Fraction of the Whole
Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die
The Art of the Start: The Time-Tested, Battle-Hardened Guide for Anyone Starting Anything
Dept. of Speculation
Moving Pictures
Yumi and the Nightmare Painter
Player Piano
Breakfast of Champions
The $100 Startup: Reinvent the Way You Make a Living, Do What You Love, and Create a New Future
The Rhesus Chart
Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting by in America
Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!
Sleeping Giants

