Thanks for the Trouble

Love is the exception to the law of diminishing returns.

My mom told me once that she wouldn't be a kid again for a million bucks. She said things hurt more when you don't have any perspective on pain. That's true. But doesn't everyone want to be young and hot forever? They only think they want it, Parker. But nobody really wants anything forever. Just for longer than they get it.

There's a word in Portuguese that my dad wrote about in one of his books: saudade. It's the sadness you feel for something that isn't gone yet, but will be. The sadness of lost causes. The sadness of being alive.

I think that kids have a knack for detecting happiness, but they lose it as they get older. They have to. Otherwise they'd notice how unhappy everybody else is, and they'd never be able to be happy themselves.

Why does anyone fall in love with anyone? I don’t believe we each have some single special person waiting for us out there, if that’s what you’re getting at. I’ve been in love too many times over the years to buy into that old canard. It’s more a question of timing you know? As if we all have these elaborate locks inside our hearts that are constantly changing shape, and every once in a while, someone happens along with the perfect key. Love is nothing more than a fortuitous collision of circumstances. And then you discover you’ve ended up spending fifty years with someone.

In my opinion, the best time to be alive is always right now. People are aways whining about how they were born in the wrong century, but they really haven't thought things through. They picture the old castle they wish they could live in, but they don't think about the drafts in the winter or the pitch darkness at night, or all the spiders and the lice. They can't imagine the everyday pain of a life without movies or recorded music or... or... Interet videos about cats. And don't even get me started on women who idealize the past. Do you have any idea what it was like to be a woman even a hundred years ago? Horrible! And a hundred years before that, the situation practically defies description. We might as well have been slaves. Trussed up in hoop skirts and corsets, married off like racehorses. Good riddance to history, I say!

Why is it that the bad shit in our lives always seems to take up so much more mental space than the good stuff? I wrote. Is that part of being a person, or just part of being me? I think about that question all the time. Do you have an answer? I don't think that questions like that have answers. An optimistic person would probably say that the bad things stick out because they're not as common as the good things. Are you an optimistic person? No.

Young people feel things so deeply, don't they?' she said quietly, almost to herself. 'Everything's happening for the first time.

Life would take everything from you eventually. So who would be so stupid to leave someone they loved by choice?

When change loses its magic, then there really isn't anything left to live for.

Exactly. The dots guy. I've always thought getting older was a bit like looking at those paintings. You're born, and that's when you're standing right up next to the canvas. Nothing makes any sense. There's just a lot of light and color. But as you get older, you begin to back away, and that's when the image starts to cohere. All those little spots of color turn into flowers, or people, or dogs. You gain perspective.

Back on the beach, everyone was tearing off their costumes piece by piece. It was like some kind of crazy dream, the sight of all those people emerging from their disguises, shedding the fake muscles and plastic armor, the fairy wings and angel wings, and devils horns, all of it piled up like a mass grave for make-believe.

In my opinion, the best time to be alive is always right now. People are aways whining about how they were born in the wrong century, but they really haven't thought things through. They picture the old castle they wish they could live in, but they don't think about the drafts in the winter or the pitch darkness at night, or all the spiders and the lice. They can't imagine the everyday pain of a life without antibiotics or anesthetics. The tedium of a world without movies or recorded music or... or... Internet videos about cats. And don't even get me started on women who idealize the past. Do you have any idea what it was like to be a woman even a hundred years ago? Horrible! And a hundred years before that, the situation practically defies description. We might as well have been slaves. Trussed up in hoop skirts and corsets, married off like racehorses. Good riddance to history, I say!

People don't like getting older, but they do like changing

Alana – still dressed as a pirate- chambers over the counter like that evil Japanese ghost in the Ring, knocking over the child-size popcorn of some little kid, who starts to cry. The pink-pigtailed girl knows something crazy is going on, but she doesn’t yet understand it has anything to do with her. Not until Alana has grabbed Tyler by his black button-down shirt and pushed him hard into the Icee machine, which begins to stream cherry-red Icee onto the counter.

where there is no fear, there is no bravery.” As

IT MIGHT SEEM WEIRD TO hate parties. Who hates parties? It’s just a bunch of people getting together to have a good time, right? Wrong. It’s a bunch of people getting together to be drunk, loud assholes, with a special emphasis on the loud. And another emphasis on the drunk. And a third emphasis on assholes, while we’re at it. Jamie

Paris? People always say Paris is the shit. “Yes, I’ve never understood the American obsession with that city. The food is actually quite terrible on the whole, and the people can be rather awful if you don’t speak the language.

There’s a word in Portuguese that my dad wrote about in one of his books: saudade. It’s the sadness you feel for something that isn’t gone yet, but will be. The sadness of lost causes. The sadness of being alive. I