“Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.”
“The man once wrote: Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. Tolkien had that one mostly right.
I stepped forward, let the door bang closed, and snarled, "Fuck subtle.”
“But there were some things I believed in. Some things I had faith in. And faith isn't about perfect attendance to services, or how much money you put on the little plate. It isn't about going skyclad to the Holy Rites, or meditating each day upon the divine.
Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others - even when there's not going to be anyone telling you what a hero you are.”
“Ack!" I said.
Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.”
“Da. This is going very well already."
Thomas barked out a laugh. "There are seven of us against the Red King and his thirteen most powerful nobles, and it's going well?"
Mouse sneezed.
"Eight," Thomas corrected himself. He rolled his eyes and said, "And the psycho death faerie makes it nine."
"It is like movie," Sanya said, nodding. "Dibs on Legolas."
"Are you kidding?" Thomas said. "I'm obviously Legolas. You're . . ." He squinted thoughtfully at Sanya and then at Martin. "Well. He's Boromir and you're clearly Aragorn."
"Martin is so dour, he is more like Gimli." Sanya pointed at Susan. "Her sword is much more like Aragorn's."
"Aragorn wishes he looked that good," countered Thomas.
"What about Karrin?" Sanya asked.
"What--for Gimli?" Thomas mused. "She is fairly--"
"Finish that sentence, Raith, and we throw down," said Murphy in a calm, level voice.
"Tough," Thomas said, his expression aggrieved. "I was going to say 'tough.' "
As the discussion went on--with Molly's sponsorship, Mouse was lobbying to claim Gimli on the basis of being the shortest, the stoutest, and the hairiest--
"Sanya," I said. "Who did I get cast as?"
"Sam," Sanya said.
I blinked at him. "Not . . . Oh, for crying out loud, it was perfectly obvious who I should have been."
Sanya shrugged. "It was no contest. They gave Gandalf to your godmother. You got Sam.”
“Hope is a force of nature. Don't let anyone tell you different.”
“Wizards and computers get along about as well as flamethrowers and libraries.”
“She frowned at me. "You need some rest. You look like hell. And you're obviously tired enough to have gotten the giggles."
Wizards don't giggle," I said, hardly able to speak. "This is cackling.”
“Even in winter, the cold isn't always bitter, and not every day is cruel.”
“If you make some comment even obliquely alluding to menstruation or menopause and its effect on my judgment," Murphy interrupted, "I will break your arm in eleven places.”
“Murphy hung up and I said, to the still-open line, "Hey, if you've got someone watching my place, could you call the cops if anyone tries to steal my Star Wars poster? It's an original."
Then I vindictively hung up on the FBI. It made my inner child happy.”
“They say you can know a man by his enemies, Dresden." He smiled, and laughter lurked beneath his next words, never quite surfacing. "You defy beings that should cow you into silence. You resist forces that are inevitable for no more reason than that you believe they should be resisted. You bow your head to neither demons nor angels, and you put yourself in harm's way to defend those who cannot defend themselves." He nodded slowly. "I think I like you.”
“Lea stood upon a fallen log ahead of us, staring ahead. Mouse walked up to her.
Gggrrrr rawf arrrgggrrrrarrrr," I said.
Mouse gave me an impatient glance, and somehow--I don't know if it was something in his body language or what--I became aware that he was telling me to sit down and shut up or he'd come over and make me.
I sat down. Something in me really didn't like that idea, but when I looked around, I saw that everyone else had done it too, and that made me feel better.
Mouse said, again in what sounded like perfectly clear English, "Funny. Now restore them."
Lea turned to look at the big dog and said, "Do you dare to give me commands, hound?"
Not your hound," Mouse said. I didn't know how he was doing it. His mouth wasn't moving or anything. "Restore them before I rip your ass off. Literally rip it off."
The Leanansidhe tilted her head back and let out a low laugh. "You are far from your sources of power here, my dear demon."
I live with a wizard. I cheat." He took a step toward her and his lips peeled up from his fangs in unmistakable hostility. "You want to restore them? Or do I kill you and get them back that way?"
Lea narrowed her eyes. Then she said, "You're bluffing."
One of the big dog's huge, clawed paws dug at the ground, as if bracing him for a leap, and his growl seemed to . . . I looked down and checked. It didn't seem to shake the ground. The ground was actually shaking for several feet in every direction of the dog. Motes of blue light began to fall from his jaws, thickly enough that it looked quite a bit like he was foaming at the mouth. "Try me."
The Leanansidhe shook her head slowly. Then she said, "How did Dresden ever win you?"
He didn't," Mouse said. "I won him.”
“You're such a cynic," Molly said.
"I think cynics are playful and cute.”
“If I was on the road to Hell, at least I was going in style.”
“You don't take your cat with you to go bird shopping. Not because the cat isn't polite, but because he's a cat.”
“I realized then what had happened.
She had turned us--all of us, except for Mouse--into great, gaunt, long-legged hounds.
Wonderful!" Lea said, pirouetting upon one toe, laughing. "Come, children!" And she leapt off into the jungle, nimble and swift as a doe.
A bunch of us dogs stood around for a moment, just sort of staring at one another.
And Mouse said, in what sounded to me like perfectly understandable English, "That bitch.”
“Paranoia is a survival trait when you run in my circles. It gives you something to do in your spare time, coming up with solutions to ridiculous problems that aren't ever going to happen. Except when one of them does, at which point you feel way too vindicated.
- Harry Dresden, Changes, Jim Butcher”
“There're things we keep hidden from one another. Things we hide from ourselves. Things that are kept hidden from us. And things no one knows. You always learn the damnedest things at the worst possible times.”
“You need to know where to go,' Sanya said.
'Yes,'
'And you are going to consult four large pizzas for guidance.'
'Yes,' I said.
...'There is, I think, humour here which does not translate well from English into sanity.'
'That's pretty rich coming from the agnostic Knight of the Cross with a holy Sword who takes his orders from an archangel.' I said.
- Harry Dresden & Sanya, Changes, Jim Butcher”
“Harry," she said quietly, "I know you must be angry."
I burn things to ash and smash holes in buildings when I'm angry," I said. "I'm a couple of steps past that point right now.”
“the Female Once-Over--a process by which one woman creates a detailed profile of another woman based upon about a million subtle details of clothing, jewelry, makeup, and body type, and then decides how much of a social threat she might be. Men have a parallel process, but it's binary: Does he have beer? If yes, will he share with me?”
“I'm trying to be diplomatic. The wisdom of my ass is well-known. If I didn't lip off to them, after shooting my mouth off to faerie queens and Vampire Courts--plural, Courts--demigods and demon lords, they might get their feelings hurt.”
“Murphy watched me thoughtfully for several empty seconds. Then she said, very gently, "You're a good man, Harry."
I swallowed and bowed my head, made humble by the tone of her voice and the expression on her face, more than the words themselves.
Not always rational," she said, smiling. "But you're the best kind of crazy.”
“All right. Tell me what I'm looking at."
From the improvised Rolling Stones T-shirt bag tied to my sash, Bob the Skull said, in his most caustic voice, "A giant pair of cartoon lips."
I muttered a curse and fumbled with the shirt until one of the skull's glowing orange eye sockets was visible.
A big goofy magic nerd!" Bob said.”
“I stared up at the Erlking, and with my typical pithy brilliance said, "Uh-oh.”
“Life is too short, Harry. And there's nowhere near enough joy in it. If you find it, grab it. Before it's gone.”
“Just remember that you're on my list, Marcone. Soon as I get done with all the other evils in this town, you won't be the lesser of them anymore."
Marcone stared at me with half-lidded eyes and said, "Eek.”
“Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others-- even when there's not going to be anyone telling you what a hero you are.”
“Shame, child, is for those who fail to live up to the ideal of what they believe they should be." She waved her hand. "It was shame that drove me to my queen, to beseech her aid." Her long, delicate fingers idly moved to the streaks of white in her otherwise flawless red tresses. "But she showed me the way back to myself, through exquisite pain, and now I am here to watch over my dear godson--and the rest of you, as long as it is quite convenient."
Spooky death Sidhe lady," Molly said. "Now upgraded to spooky, crazy death Sidhe lady.”
“You do not esteem good deeds?" She shifted the basket handle to both hands, just as a cool breeze blew a bonnet string across her face.
"My dear Miss Keene, what would the world be without them?"
He brushed the string from her cheek. "Are we not admonished to be doers and not merely hearers of His word? Yet not on a mountain of good deeds can we climb our way to heaven.”
“The list of scars my students have sustained at the hand of your daughter grows longer each week. Poor Logan Hochspring's arm will forever carry an imprint of her dental records!"
"You bit him?" Lex's father said.
"He called me a wannabe vampire. What was I supposed to do?"
"Oh, I don't know--maybe not bite him?”
“Power does not alter a man's character. It merely reveals it.”
“Her full breasts strained against the material as if dying to escape, turning her respectable business suit into a vehicle for a stripper. Horrified at the sudden veer of his thoughts, he quickly imagined nuns in underwear and got himself back in control.”
“Affirmation for Today: I am strong enough to refrain from killing any or all members of my family.”
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