Born to Love, Cursed to Feel

Perfect You’re a beautiful kind of madness a misunderstood truth O, the things they could learn from the darkness that is hidden behind your eyes So gifted, yet your talents are wasted you gave up chasing dreams Reality hit and you got a taste of failure Cautious now about bearing your soul For if others saw you fully exposed they may not love you like they claim to Time and experience have taught you to trust no one Friends, lovers, and even family have forsaken you You keep the shattered pieces of your heart in a box Stitching, gluing, and staying up all night trying to put it back together Attempting to fill the void that was left Moving from one man to the next It seems no one can satisfy the appetite for affection that you seek Continually picking at old wounds they never heal properly You have no real home, too restless to stay in one place You are reckless, selfish, stubborn, sometimes rude You’ve bottled up the pain of so much that has been done When you’re hurt You close into yourself, shut down You love attention and yet love being by yourself more May God have mercy on your soul For you are truly lost Daily you fight your demons Yet no one knows of that which you endure You bear it alone, never speaking of it You can blame the broken home from which you came Or the environment that you grew up in The people who tore you down so young You can point the finger at those who have whispered behind your back They all have played a role in your development But looking so deep into the past will keep you from moving forward You must love yourself more than these people claim they do Look at where you stand now No one can know the things you have endured like you You’ve never claimed to be perfect Your flaws tell your story There is no need to hide them

Comfort When I hit that wall, and I am going to hit it As I’m lying on the floor consumed by despair don’t try and pick me up don’t whisper words of comfort Don’t tell me it’s going to be ok Let me be in this moment where I think it’s not Lie beside me and let me find hope in the comfort of your presence Let me deal with my thoughts and fears I will eventually reprimand myself for indulging in such an emotion for so long I will want to get up and keep moving forward Until then, let me lie here and let the salt of my tears sting the wounds you can’t see Until I’m ready, let me be I have to heal myself

Born to love, cursed to feel.

May your hand never feel lonely But if it should, my friend, know that my hand is always yours to hold

If you want something different You have to stop accepting what you’re used to

I'm ashamed that I crawled into the closet that you built for me Believing I deserve no more than that

So often we are defined by what we've done and the mistakes we've made For once I would like to be Measured by the steps I took today Rather than the footprints of yesterday

Ghosts of New York I would like to think that they all have their own stories But we never ask, we don’t even know their names Or what has brought them to their knees and humbled them enough to sleep on the floor of a station Or sit on a train all night long just to have somewhere warm to sleep They are gawked at people will leave their presence to avoid the smell but they have nowhere to wash their bodies On those days when you’ve argued with your boss or a friend, something didn’t go your way and you think you have it bad, They are walking, breathing, living evidence that someone out there truly has it worse We’ve made ourselves so cold, so immune that we’ve taken the humanity out of what’s happening in front of us So yes, I would like to believe that when I give them that dollar they aren’t going to use it to put a needle in their arm and if they should, who am I to judge? Maybe when you’re already that low all there is left to live for is chasing that high

There is growth in pain You

I want to inject the essence of you into my veins and get lost in the quakes of your past High

You stole my voice How could I let you? Silencing my own thoughts and dreams Because they were so loud they drowned you out You stole my time How could I give it so easily? Hours were toiled over what you were doing whether or not you really loved me Minutes were spent in your presence while it was only for seconds that I was actually happy You stole my pride I became a fool, your own personal jester For I would rather see you smile than taste the bitterness of my tears when I was without you You stole my love Why me? Why you? Why now? I didn’t know I was giving it Until it was already gone Even when my mind was screaming “You know better” I may have suffered but in the end have won For you had to take all these things And now are left with nothing While I have learned my lesson

Thinking Out Loud So self-destructive I’m waiting for the implosion  For the Universe’s infinite wisdom to cave in my chest and abolish all my fears  To be driven so deep into the possibilities that I am blinded by the light  Until all I can do is close my eyes and be forced to once again dream genuinely Before the day of naysayers and doubts  I’m in the stairwell hiding from the people hiding from the noise  Can they see my insecurities as vividly as I do?  Do they possess that kind of vision?  Or are they so lost in their own self-turmoil that they don’t even notice I’m defeated, depleted A remnant of a dreamer gone mad A hopeless romantic who hasn’t been fed An artist starving for Life, to Live

I spoke out of fear and you ignored me I spoke out of pain and you didn’t listen I spoke out of love and you walked away So now I speak of nothing

I want to be singed by your passion Release