The Willoughbys

Once she read a book but found it distasteful because it contained adjectives.

We are four worthy orphans with a no-nonsense nanny." Like Mary Poppins?" suggested the man, with a pleased look of recognition. Not one bit like that fly-by-night woman," Nanny said with a sniff. "It almost gives me diabetes just to think of her: all those disgusting spoonfuls of sugar!

I have learned over the course of my many years that it is a bad idea, usually, to investigate piteous weeping but always a fine thing to look into a giggle.

Oh! Lovely!" said Nanny. "You are an old fashioned family, like us. We are four worthy orphans with a no-nonsense nanny." "Like Mary Poppins?" suggested the man, with a pleased look of recognition. "Not one bit like that fly-by-night woman," Nanny said with a sniff. "It almost gives me diabetes just to think of her: all those disgusting spoonfuls of sugar! None of that for me. I am simply a competent and professional nanny...

It’s Peter the goat-herd,” murmured Tim in astonishment, “right out of Heidi! We can teach him to read and write, and then we’ll all smile and hug and say religious things!

She married, surprisingly, her stepbrother Tim, who, as predicted, became an attorney. The

AFFABLE means good-natured and friendly. There are whole groups of people who are known for being affable. Cheerleaders, for example. Or Mormon missionaries.

CONSPIRACY is a plan to do something subversive. Three guys planning a camping trip . . . nah, that’s just three guys planning a camping trip. But three guys planning to take a camping trip and rob a bank along the way . . . that’s a conspiracy.

IGNOMINIOUS means shamefully weak and ineffective. Oliver Twist saying, “Please sir, might I have some more?” would be ignominious, except that he isn’t shameful, just sort of pathetic. This book has ignominious illustrations. They are shamefully weak because the person who drew them is not an artist.

NEFARIOUS means utterly, completely wicked. The character in The Wizard of Oz could have been called the Nefarious Witch of the West but authors like to use the same beginning consonant, often. Perhaps L. Frank Baum crossed out nefarious after wicked came to his mind. Thank goodness, because Nefarious would be a terrible name for a musical.

The Willoughby parents frequently forgot that they had children and became quite irritable when they were reminded of it.

Squalor has nothing to do with money. Squalor happens when people are sad. And