Quotes from The Third Wheel

Jeff Kinney ·  224 pages

Rating: (54.4K votes)


“He got the crib, so for the first few months of my life I had to sleep in the top dresser drawer, which I'm pretty sure isn't even legal.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Third Wheel


“I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Third Wheel


“Back in those days it was just me swimming around in the dark, doing back flips and taking naps whenever I want.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Third Wheel


“澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania
澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania
澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania
澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania
澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania
澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania
澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania
澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania
澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania
澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania
澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania
澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania
澳洲毕业证澳洲学历文凭原版制作Q/微981497266办理UTAS毕业证塔斯马尼亚大学毕业证成绩单真实学历学位认证University of Tasmania”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Third Wheel


“I started worrying that maybe you only get a certain number of prayers answered in you lifetime and I'm burning through mine too fast. I'd hate to find out later on that I used up all my chits, because I've been acting like I've got an unlimited supply.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Third Wheel



“I probably should've thought about talking to Uncle Gary a lot earlier. He's been married something like four times already, so he's an EXPERT on relationships.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Third Wheel


“Seriously, though, in this day and age I don't know why we're still cutting open frogs to see what's inside them.
If somebody tells me there's a heart and intestines inside a grog, I'm willing to take their word for it.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Third Wheel


“Seriously, though, in this day and age I don't know why we're still cutting open frogs to see what's inside them.
If somebody tells me there's a heart and intestines inside a frog, I'm willing to take their word for it.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Third Wheel


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About the author

Jeff Kinney
Born place: in Andrews Air Force Base, Maryland, The United States
Born date February 19, 2018
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“I’ve downed two shots and a tumbler of whiskey by the time Racer and Tucker show up. The House of Reardon, our go-to bar, isn’t very far from where we all live, kind of in the middle, but given my race to get some alcohol into my system, I’m a few drinks in already.

“I brought reinforcements,” Racer says as he tosses a box of Swiss Rolls in front of me. I can always count on Racer to bring Little Debbie snacks, our sacred lover. “Your text made it seem like you needed to suckle at Debbie’s teet tonight.”

“I do.” I rip open the box, tear open a wrapper, and pop an entire roll in my mouth in seconds.

“I guess so,” Racer says, a little astonished.

“Tucker close?”

“Right here,” Tucker says, pulling up a chair next to me at the bar. He pats my shoulder and tosses a box of Zebra Cakes in front of me. My boys know me well.

“Zebra Cakes? Dude, I brought Swiss Rolls. Zebra Cakes are piss when it comes to times like this.”

“It’s all I had left. Emma’s been eating all my Nutty Bars.”

“Why even buy Zebra Cakes? You know that frosting turns into a paste.”

From the corner of my eye, I see Tucker run his hand over his face. “Emma got them. When she shops, she literally doesn’t consider which ones she buys; it’s just a sweep of her arm over the shelf. Can’t complain about that.”

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