The Third Wheel

He got the crib, so for the first few months of my life I had to sleep in the top dresser drawer, which I'm pretty sure isn't even legal.

I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days.

Back in those days it was just me swimming around in the dark, doing back flips and taking naps whenever I want.

I started worrying that maybe you only get a certain number of prayers answered in you lifetime and I'm burning through mine too fast. I'd hate to find out later on that I used up all my chits, because I've been acting like I've got an unlimited supply.

I probably should've thought about talking to Uncle Gary a lot earlier. He's been married something like four times already, so he's an EXPERT on relationships.

Seriously, though, in this day and age I don't know why we're still cutting open frogs to see what's inside them. If somebody tells me there's a heart and intestines inside a grog, I'm willing to take their word for it.

Seriously, though, in this day and age I don't know why we're still cutting open frogs to see what's inside them. If somebody tells me there's a heart and intestines inside a frog, I'm willing to take their word for it.