“Progress just means bad things happen faster.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Blessings be on this house," Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people's minds on what other things might be on this house.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it's the other way around.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“The wages of sin is death but so is the salary of virtue, and at least the evil get to go home early on Fridays.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Wisdom is one of the few things that looks bigger the further away it is.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Your average witch is not, by nature, a social animal as far as other witches are concerned. There's a conflict of dominant personalities. There's a group of ringleaders without a ring. There's the basic unwritten rule of witchcraft, which is 'Don't do what you will, do what I say.' The natural size of a coven is one. Witches only get together when they can't avoid it.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage. Besides you don't build a better world by choppin' heads off and giving decent girls away to frogs.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Humanity's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Where's the pleasure in bein' the winner if the loser ain't alive to know they've lost?”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“It's daft, locking us up," said Nanny. "I'd have had us killed."
"That's because you're basically good," said Magrat. "The good are innocent and create justice. The bad are guilty, which is why they invent mercy.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“What was supposed to be so special about a full moon? It was only a big circle of light. And the dark of the moon was only darkness. But halfway between the two, when the moon was between the worlds of light and dark, when even the moon lived on the edge...maybe then a witch could believe in the moon.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Good and bad is tricky," she said. "I ain't too certain about where people stand. P'raps what matters is which way you face.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Granny Weatherwax was not a good loser. From her point of view, losing was something that happened to other people.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Find the story, Granny Weatherwax always said. She believed that the world was full of story shapes. If you let them, they controlled you. But if you studied them, if you found out about them... you could use them, you could change them.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“The dwarf bread was brought out for inspection. But it was miraculous, the dwarf bread. No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of dozens of things you'd rather eat. Your boots, for example. Mountains. Raw sheep. Your own foot.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Cats are like witches. They don’t fight to kill, but to win. There is a difference. There’s no point in killing an opponent. That way, they won’t know they’ve lost, and to be a real winner you have to have an opponent who is beaten and knows it. There’s no triumph over a corpse, but a beaten opponent, who will remain beaten every day of the remainder of their sad and wretched life, is something to treasure.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“I don't want to hurt you, Mistress Weatherwax," said Mrs Gogol.
"That's good," said Granny. "I don't want you to hurt me either.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because—what with trolls and dwarfs and so on—speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“The trouble with witches is that they’ll never run away from things they really hate.
And the trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“People whose wishes get granted often don't turn out to be very nice people.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Magrat said she could never make the wand do that and Esme said no because, she wasted time wishing for thinges to happen instead of working out how to make them happen.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“Stories don't care who takes part in them. All that matters is that the story gets told, that the story repeats. Or, if you prefer to think of it like this: stories are a parasitical life form, warping lives in the service only of the story itself.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“In Genua, someone set out to make dreams come true. Remember some of your dreams?”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“You can't trust folk songs. They always sneak up on you.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
“It pays to advertise,” Nanny agreed. “This is Greebo. Between you and me, he’s a fiend from hell.” “Well, he’s a cat,” said Mrs. Gogol, generously. “It’s only to be expected.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Witches Abroad
Terry Pratchett
Born place: in Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire, England, The United Kingdom
Born date April 28, 1948
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“so Enlightenment philosophers developed a new form of theism, based entirely on reason and Newtonian science, which they called Deism.”
― Karen Armstrong, quote from The Case for God
“I come to you for help. We've been silent far too long. Many of you have turned your backs on Arman. Many never bothered to know Him at all. But Arman is the One God. He created Er'Rets and everything in it. He gave each of you life and purpose. He loves all of you as His own sons and daughters.
To defeat Darkness, we must unite our faith. We must worship the One God, Arman. We must call out to Him for mercy. Though He hears my prayer now, my voice alone is not strong enough. I am only one man. But together, we are mighty. I ask you to join with me now. Worship Him.”
― Jill Williamson, quote from From Darkness Won
“Mickey Cray was surprised to learn that Derek Badger didn’t want any of his captive critters on location. Mickey had never wrangled for a nature show that used only wild animals, nor had he ever encountered a person less qualified than Derek to handle untamed specimens.”
― Carl Hiaasen, quote from Chomp
“We must have several word-signs," said Syme seriously -- "words that we are likely to want, fine shades of meaning. My favourite word is 'coeval.' What's yours?"
"Do stop playing the goat," said the Professor plaintively. "You don't know how serious this is."
"'Lush,' too, " said Syme, shaking his head sagaciously, "we must have ' lush' -- word applied to grass, don't you know?"
"Do you imagine," asked the Professor furiously, "that we are going to talk to Dr. Bull about grass?"
"There are several ways in which the subject could be approached," said Syme reflectively, "and the word introduced without appearing forced. We might say, ' Dr. Bull, as a revolutionist, you remember that a tyrant once advised us to eat grass; and indeed many of us, looking on the fresh lush grass of summer--"'
"Do you understand," said the other, "that this is a tragedy?"
"Perfectly," replied Syme; "always be comic in a tragedy. What the deuce else can you do? I wish this language of yours had a wider scope. I suppose we could not extend it from the fingers to the toes? That would involve pulling off our boots and socks during the conversation, which however unobtrusively performed -- "
"Syme," said his friend with a stern simplicity, "go to bed!”
― G.K. Chesterton, quote from The Man Who Was Thursday
“For me performing has a lot to do with being fearless. I wrote an article for Artforum in the mideighties that had a line in it that the rock critic Greil Marcus quoted a lot: “People pay money to see others believe in themselves.” Meaning, the higher the chance you can fall down in public, the more value the culture places on what you do. Unlike, say, a writer or a painter, when you’re onstage you can’t hide from other people, or from yourself either.”
― Kim Gordon, quote from Girl in a Band
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