The Stand-In

You are braver than you want to believe. You like to pretend you're not bold because it's an excuse to not stretch yourself.

No one else can be you. No one else can tell your story like you. You are unique. So write the movie you want to see.

Why is it so hard to say no to everyone except myself?

I’m Canadian. We’re raised on apologies and maple syrup.

I admit it. I love lists. I crave them. I draw visceral pleasure from anything I can put a line through, a check beside, or delete as a declaration that I have Completed a Task and am therefore a worthy, functioning human.

Am I expected to loaf around in clothes with non-stretchy waistbands like some sort of animal?

What do I do?” He turns to me, stupefied. “How should I know? I don’t wear women’s underclothes. Surely by this age you’ve mastered wearing them?

attitude is like chewing on tinfoil. “Yes.

Then she flashes me a photo

I’m in a car with Wei Fangli and Sam Yao.

know that face because—it suddenly clicks—this is Wei Fangli.

Ever since I had to put Mom into the home, I've made a pleat here and crease there to origami my life to become small and manageable.

You need money,” Anjali prods. “How much fuck-you money do you have?” Fuck-you money is the money you save for whenever you need to tell your boss or your partner where to go as you blow out the door.

No one can be you. No one else can tell your story like you. You are unique. So write the movie you want to see.

There are enough people in the world ready to put you down. Do you need to join them?

We once visited my grandfather in a shared room—he liked the company—and she came out and whispered to me that she’d rather be left in a forest to be eaten by animals than have to deal with a stranger’s noises all day.

The trigger is irrelevant. Once the idea you can do something occurs to you, that’s all that matters. Who cares who twists the handle for Lawrence as long as he can walk through the door?

Mom would kill me if she knew. But for once, I want to take a chance living my life in a lane that’s not the dead middle.