Quotes from The Student Prince

“Merlin, if you don't stop whining, I'm going to take Gwen's sword and beat you to death with it," said Arthur, evenly.
"It's plastic."
"So it will take me a long time. I'm still game.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“I wouldn't want to fuck you if you had a ten inch knob made of gold and your arsehole was the gate to Nirvana. I can't be friends with you because you're a gibbering twatwaffle, not because I would ever, in a million years, want to shag you. Get over yourself!”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“Good grief," said Merlin. "You look like the bastard child of
Dumbledore and David Bowie. No, sorry, Dumbledore and Ziggy
Stardust.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“No' seems such a flimsy and inadequate little word to express how very little interest I have in hearing you rambling on about that particular topic.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“I've created a monster, haven't I?" said Merlin, staring at the animated figure incredulously.

"I think that, technically, I was already a monster," the dragon replied. "Now I am a monster with social networking skills. Or I would be, if I had a Twitter account. And possibly a Facebook. Do I want a Facebook? Is it a book of faces? Is it the same as MySpace? Which of course begs the question: what is MySpace?”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“You know you're having a crappy morning when the best that can be said for it is that at least you're not a Smurf.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“You're just jealous of my beard."
"No. No, really not. It makes you look like you've got a ferret trying to shag your chin.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“[Arthur to Merlin]
I'm the Prince of Wales, and you're Welsh. I can do whatever I bloody well like to you.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“You – you don't really want to hear me
talking about my love life, do you?"
"'No' seems such a flimsy and inadequate little word to express how very little interest I have in
hearing you rambling on about that particular topic," said the dragon. "Your mating rituals are
roughly as fascinating to me as the eating habits of snails."
"Right," said Merlin. "Fair enough.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“It turned out that it was difficult to stay cross with a man when you could see his nipples.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“Second star to the right, and straight on till morning. Another stupid adventure. Come and be king of the world?”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“[Arthur]
"Er... Just how much did you have to drink?"
Merlin frowned at Arthur... Both of him.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“There – that was the awkward 'I think you're lovely and I do hope we can be friends but, oh, by the way, please don't get flirty because I'm not really in the vagina business' bit over and done with”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“Arthur shook his head. "You'd be an appalling mother, Morgana. You're a terrible example, you
know," he said, handing her the bottle. "God help any actual children you do find yourself
having."
"They'd be adorable," she said, sticking her chin out. "I would make fabulous babies. They'd be
born swearing and clutching packets of Benson and Hedges, bless their hypothetical little hearts,
and railing against the patriarchy, and they'd very quickly rule the world.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“It's a stage name," said Arthur, impatiently. "Like Madonna."
"No, Madonna's actual name is Madonna," pointed out Merlin.
"Oh my God, stop flaunting your Big Gay Knowledge Of Pop,”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“Its like Mrs Fitzherbert all over again, or that bloody Simpson woman! I do not believe it!"
"Sorry," said Merlin, wondering who the blazes Mrs Fitzherbert and that bloody Simpson woman
were. He had a feeling Gaius didn't mean Marge.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“[Merlin - on realizing the he'd killed a man with his magic.]

It was easy. It shouldn't have been so easy to do something so big. ... So final...

[Gaius] ...Oh Merlin! With magic or without it is always dreadfully easy to do something so big. And bigger. This is the terrible terrible lesson which we never learn from history. Hurting other people is never hard, even though it should be..”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“You are totally Cinderella," Gwen said, undeterred. "You're a big-eared, trouser-wearing, penis-having, magic-wielding Cinderella, if ever there was one." "I – you – what are you like ? I'm not Cinderella!"

"You're Cinder-fella.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“His libido,distressingly,didn't seem at all worried about little things like Arthur being an arrogant dick.(Or, to be perfectly,horrifyingly honest,which he had no intention of being, ever, his libido might just possibly rather like Arthur being an arrogant dick. And Merlin might just possibly have had some rather vivid fantasies about Arthur demanding, in that lazily imperious tone, that Merlin get down on his knees and swallow the royal cock. Just possibly.)”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“The who with the what now?"The dragon cocked its head to one side and gave this utterance careful consideration. "I'm afraid that I don't quite follow you, young warlock," it admitted, sounding rather testy."Your young
language does change so swiftly."
"Sorry! I just meant – I meant: 'bloody hell'!”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“Come on, tick tock – Chuck, Fuck or Marry: Arthur, Lance, Brad Pitt."
"Chuck Arthur, Fuck Brad, Marry Lance," she said, without hesitating.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“He didn't want to have to be the Gay Best Friend providing life lessons for liberal straight people. He just wanted to get laid.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“And then an endless instant later Arthur was kissing him back, like this was perfectly normal, like this was exactly what Arthur had been hoping for most in all the world, his large hands closing over Merlin's shoulders and sliding down over his back, strong and warm even through the fabric of his sweater, one hand pausing on his waist and the other sliding around to cup his arse and pull him in closer. Merlin made a surprised, enthusiastic sound and stopped holding back; let himself cling to Arthur and kiss him more fiercely; and then they were kissing like it was their last day on earth and they had to cram every possible moment of passion into this tiny slice of time, hands clutching at fabric, mouths pressing hungry bites onto bare skin as if they would somehow devour one another, trying to touch and taste everything at once, frantic and needy and bursting with urgent desire and the inescapable knowledge that this was finite, was stolen, was not supposed to be.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“Look, it's all right for you. You don't have to walk along pulling the damned bin while you're
wearing a bloody great dress that keeps tripping you up."Arthur made an impatient noise. "Have you seen my outfit? The only difference between what we're wearing is that yours shows more cleavage and mine comes with a beard.""It does not show cleavage!" Merlin exclaimed, temporarily distracted. He squinted down at his chest. "I haven't got any cleavage for it to show!”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“I don't think you're going to pull the wool over anyone's eyes with all this macrame talk.”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

“Merlin smiled. "Thank you, sir! It was just Game Theory."
"It was just – is this a Maths thing?"
"Well, Maths and Philosophy, and..."
"Stop! Stop right there – I really have no wish to hear you expound upon either Mathematics or
Philosophy, Merlin. Just take the compliment”
― FayJay, quote from The Student Prince

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“I think the willfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.”
― J.K. Rowling, quote from Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination

“Taking in their expressions, I just knew it.
Logan had enlisted them.
The bugger.
“Oh dear God.” I let my head fall back as if in supplication to an unmerciful deity. “Why me?”
Joss snorted. “Yeah, doesn’t it suck when gorgeous, funny, loyal Scotsmen fall in love with us?”
― Samantha Young, quote from Moonlight on Nightingale Way

“Maria, lonely prostitute on a street of pain,
You, at least, hail me and speak to me
While a thousand others ignore my face.
You offer me an hour of love,
And your fees are not as costly as most.
You are the madonna of the lonely,
The first-born daughter in a world of pain.
You do not turn fat men aside,
Or trample on the stuttering, shy ones,
You are the meadow where desperate men
Can find a moment's comfort.

Men have paid more to their wives
To know a bit of peace
And could not walk away without the guilt
That masquerades as love.
You do not bind them, lovely Maria, you comfort them
And bid them return.
Your body is more Christian than the Bishop's
Whose gloved hand cannot feel the dropping of my blood.
Your passion is as genuine as most,
Your caring as real!

But you, Maria, sacred whore on the endless pavement of pain,
You, whose virginity each man may make his own
Without paying ought but your fee,
You who know nothing of virgin births and immaculate conceptions,
You who touch man's flesh and caress a stranger,
Who warm his bed to bring his aching skin alive,
You make more sense than stock markets and football games
Where sad men beg for virility.
You offer yourself for a fee--and who offers himself for less?

At times you are cruel and demanding--harsh and insensitive,
At times you are shrewd and deceptive--grasping and hollow.
The wonder is that at times you are gentle and concerned,
Warm and loving.
You deserve more respect than nuns who hide their sex for eternal love;
Your fees are not so high, nor your prejudice so virtuous.
You deserve more laurels than the self-pitying mother of many children,
And your fee is not as costly as most.

Man comes to you when his bed is filled with brass and emptiness,
When liquor has dulled his sense enough
To know his need of you.
He will come in fantasy and despair, Maria,
And leave without apologies.
He will come in loneliness--and perhaps
Leave in loneliness as well.
But you give him more than soldiers who win medals and pensions,
More than priests who offer absolution
And sweet-smelling ritual,
More than friends who anticipate his death
Or challenge his life,
And your fee is not as costly as most.

You admit that your love is for a fee,
Few women can be as honest.
There are monuments to statesmen who gave nothing to anyone
Except their hungry ego,
Monuments to mothers who turned their children
Into starving, anxious bodies,
Monuments to Lady Liberty who makes poor men prisoners.
I would erect a monument for you--
who give more than most--
And for a meager fee.

Among the lonely, you are perhaps the loneliest of all,
You come so close to love
But it eludes you
While proper women march to church and fantasize
In the silence of their rooms,
While lonely women take their husbands' arms
To hold them on life's surface,
While chattering women fill their closets with clothes and
Their lips with lies,
You offer love for a fee--which is not as costly as most--
And remain a lonely prostitute on a street of pain.

You are not immoral, little Maria, only tired and afraid,
But you are not as hollow as the police who pursue you,
The politicians who jail you, the pharisees who scorn you.
You give what you promise--take your paltry fee--and
Wander on the endless, aching pavements of pain.
You know more of universal love than the nations who thrive on war,
More than the churches whose dogmas are private vendettas made sacred,
More than the tall buildings and sprawling factories
Where men wear chains.
You are a lonely prostitute who speaks to me as I pass,
And I smile at you because I am a lonely man.”
― James Kavanaugh, quote from There Are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves

“This means that if boys and girls grew up on a deserted island with no organised society or parents to guide them, girls would still cuddle, touch, make friends and play with dolls, while boys would compete mentally and physically with each other and form groups with a clear hierarchy.”
― Allan Pease, quote from Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What to Do About It

“I know what love feels like, but this, this man... fuck me. Steals my breath. Knots me up. Torches me."
"No, this is what denying love feels like, man. Why you denying your heart?”
― Adrian Phoenix, quote from In the Blood

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