The Austen Affair

You are luminous. And I do not mean simply the brilliancy of your complexion. Sometimes I look at you, and I think, 'there must be a candle burning just beneath her skin.' All your joy and love and considerable kindness taking physical effect. But logically, I know that isn't true. The simple answer is that you glow because, to me, you are the focus of every scene. Every room we enter. The camera, the lights, my attention—they are all trained on you.

Life is short and unpredictable, and yet we choose love anyway. We choose love over and over. Because if nothing is guaranteed, doesn’t that make it even more important, then, to grab love with both hands when it’s right there in front of you?

No one can be trusted with their own heart. That is why we give them to others for safekeeping.

I know in this moment that Hugh Balfour would absolutely baffle a lie detector. His pulse goes wild when he’s telling the truth.

Never cry over boys,’” I recite under my breath

that the role of my lifelong best friend had been filled on the day I was born. I didn’t need to be inseparable with those women. I didn’t need to cultivate rituals

Be glad when you have someone

There are so many variables that go into living a happy life with the person you love. Love alone is not enough. It can always be ripped away from you.

I hold him tight, tighter, tightest—and find myself distraught that we cannot draw closer. Cannot merge flesh. At least, not yet.