In the Night Garden
Quotes from the Book
Rule #17: To rescue a princess from magical imprisonment, a handsome prince must first slay the dragon. If one is not available, a large iguana will do in a pinch.” —Definitive Fairy-Tale Survival Guide, Volume 1
Because a cage is still a cage, no matter how big or glittering the bars are.
He flipped his spiked tail straight into the air in what could only be interpreted as an obscene gesture. Rexi duplicated it in human form. “Right back atcha.
Girl of Emerald, no man can tame. Burn down the world, consumed by flames.
You never know what you're gonna find under those covers - Grandma or the wolf." Little Red, excerpt from Tales From the Hood
No need to panic. I was the heroine in this story, so everything would get fixed somehow.
True love is like a stalactite meeting a stalagmite. Complete opposites, but with time, calcium, and a healthy drip system, they meet in the middle. Or one crushes the other. It really depends.
An ill-worded wish is worse than a curse...
Hope is like a balloon. It seems like it swells up just so someone else can pop it in your face.
There’s really nothing to fear but fear itself. And trolls. Fear and trolls. Oh, and I guess gigans and dragons too. And can’t forget wicked witches. Yeah, I guess there really is a lot to fear.
Dear Grimm, we’re not in Emerald anymore.” I started to hyperventilate. Rexi remained sprawled on her back. She barely opened an eye at my hysterics. “Duh.
That's the thing about love: the best kind isn't easy of instant, and you often get roughed up a bit on the way.
Our family became spelled after my ancestor pixed off two evil witch sisters. The witches’ curse was supposed to doom my great- great- great grandmother to turn evil and torch the world— except the spell wasn’t worded right. It didn’t spec-ify which Emerald princess. So ever since, all the girls in the Emerald family have been stuck inside, since there’s no way to know what generation will inherit the curse.
First, I spit out a mouthful of dirt. Then, I screamed at the sky. “That’s it! I’ve had it! Everything is trying to kill me! All I did was make one stupid wish. Aladdin made three. I’m the hero of this story, so where’s my happy ending, already? It’s not fair.” Rexi bent over, trying to catch her breath. “You know what’s not fair? Spending Muse Day as a toad just because the kitchen ran out of frog legs. Or being volunteered for this little journey. So build a bridge, then make like a billy goat and get over it already because no one is listening.
A ferocious growl drew my gaze to the back of the room, where a hairy beast wore a yellow ball gown. I tried to block out the memory of Beauty in that dress earlier this evening.
Someone told me I'd find a princess of great worth here. One with the strength to be the hero this realm needs." He stared at me with those unsettling blue eyes. They were cold, like ice water - made me shiver from head to toe. Then his gaze seemed to search even deeper. Finally, he looked through me, like I was nothing. In brisk steps, he strode across the marble to the courtyard. But before crossing the threshold, he turned back to glare at me with his lip curled ever so slightly. "It seems she was mistaken."... I felt my own lip curl in response. How rude! Who the Grimm was this peasant to judge me? I was wearing a Glenda original. Original! Not some fairy-godmother knockoff worn by those servant girls turned royal. I was a crown princess, for the love of fairy, and no one dismissed me.
There is nothing in there that doesn't deserve to get burned
Ow! That…” A little ball of fur chewed on my slippers, not caring that my feet were still inside. I’d never seen another creature like it. It had the auburn- colored body of a lion cub, but it also had nubby horns, wings, and a dragon’s tail. Its little black talons scratched at my leg; then it stared at me with accusa-tory ice- water blue eyes. “No pixing way! Prince Kato?
No way. I would rather lick a toad. I would let a wicked old hag bake me into gingerbread before I married this son of a bas-ilisk who had the gall to look amused while I hyperventilated.
I'm an intern with the Union of Fairy Godmothers...
You never know what you're gonna find when you look under those covers - grandma or the wolf.
Thank you for cracking open the barrier, by the way. I’ve been meaning to stop by for ages but never had the chance until now. It’s such a shame I have to kill you. You would have made an excellent villain. After all, you’ve caused more damage in one afternoon than most henchmen do in a lifetime. And I didn’t touch your parents. The blame for their loss lies squarely on your shoulders.” She punctuated the your by pointing the mirror in my direction.
Verte was the kingdom's head sorceress, oracle, palace grump, and the only reason I hadn't died of sheer boredom.... One time, I blew up her caudron trying to make soup. In retaliation, she sent me a billy goat that ate my entire closet's contents.
What manly task may I perform for you?" "If you care for me at all, you'll slay a dragon." "Such a simple task to prove my devotion? For you, I will gladly take up this quest. Why, by the age of ten, I had already felled my first ogre.
Though all the major fairy tale families were coming tonight, I wouldn't exactly call any of them friends. Aside from the once-a-year gathering, I never spoke to any of them, except the occasional chat on Flitter with Cinderella, since we shared a love of designer footwear.
All the trouble stemmed from my body image issues. I just couldn’t escape the mirror. It lied; the reflection I saw of myself was horrifying.” —Wicked Queen, Shattered Reflections
Morning people should have to live in their own country, or something, and not bother the rest of us" - Dorthea
True, but one makes you a monster. The other one just makes you an idiot. Which one is it?
Evil is tough to override, because it’s ingrained in the soul. Nutcases,
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About Betsy Schow
About the book
Somewhere over the rainbow, all spell is about to break loose…
Fairy Tale Survival Rule No. 32: If you find yourself at the mercy of a wicked witch, sing a romantic ballad and wait for your Prince Charming to save the day.
Yeah, no thanks. Dorthea is completely princed out. Sure being the crown princess of Emerald has its perks—like Glenda Original ball gowns and Hans Christian Louboutin heels. But a forced marriage to the charming brooding prince Kato is so not what Dorthea had in mind for her enchanted future.
Talk about unhappily ever after.
Trying to fix her prince problem by wishing on a (cursed) star royally backfires, leaving the kingdom in chaos and her parents stuck in some place called “Kansas.” Now it’s up to Dorthea and her pixed off prince to find the mysterious Wizard of Oz and undo the curse…before it releases the wickedest witch of all and spells The End for t
Book details
- First published
- 2015
- Author
- Betsy Schow
- Genre
- Fantasy
- Goodreads rating
- 3.68 (8k ratings)
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