Quotes from The Last Ever After

Soman Chainani ·  655 pages

Rating: (12.3K votes)


“To find a happy ending with someone else, first you have to find it alone.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“I'm afraid I've already found my Ever After, Hort," said Sophie.

"What? With who?" Hort asked, aghast.

"On my own," she said, her voice sure and clear. "I'm happy on my own."

And for the first time, she knew it was true.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“Of all the tales in all the kingdoms in all the Woods, you had to walk into mine.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“Dear girl, it will be a very long road if you spend more time looking backwards than forward.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“It wasn't goodbye forever. Only goodbye for now. And if ever the distance was too much to bear, she would just look inside her heart, for Agatha was already there.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After



“That's the difference between Good and Evil, Clarissa,' the Evil Dean said softly. 'We know that love isn't always enough for a happy ending.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“That's right. I'm in charge now. You might be the Master of this infernal school, but you are not my Master and you will never be. You said it yourself: the Storian won't write because it is waiting for my choice, not yours. I choose whether I take your ring. I choose whether this is The End. I choose whether this world lives or dies. And I'm happy to watch it burn to dust if you expect a slave instead of a queen.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“No one can hide from their fate without a price.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“Rat #1 got you through the gates, didn't it?" said Anadil, stroking the still-pooped pet in her pocket. "Rat #2 gets you to the tower."

"And Rat #3 negotiates world peace?”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“But sometimes to keep Evil from getting in, you have to let Good out.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After



“Last night," the long-nosed man replied, looking surprised by her question. "You drank a barrel of wine and told me you miss cleaning for your stepsisters because at least you felt useful and stayed fit and now you're old and bored and big as a house--"

"WHO ASKED YOU?" thundered the woman. "YOU SPENT HALF YOUR LIFE AS A PUPPET!”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“Even fairy tales have limits," said Sophie. "Three people can't have an Ever After. Not without me being alone.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“This was about two sides warring for love.

She and Tedros fighting for Good. Sophie and the School Master fighting for Evil.

Once upon a time, she and her best friend tried to find a happy ending together. Now only one of them could come out alive.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“and soon the cat was in the toilet.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“I’ve already killed you and kissed you more times in my head than you deserve.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After



“But as they grew closer and closer, Sophie had opened Agatha's wings to a love so strong she thought it would last forever. It was she and Sophie against the world. But on that first day of school, watching Sophie with a prince, Agatha realized how blind she'd been. The bond between two girls, no matter how fierce or loyal, changed once a boy came between them.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“And yet, even if my heart beats for Evil, that doesn’t mean I can’t find love. That doesn’t mean I can’t find happiness. It just means I have to find love with someone who embraces my darkness instead of fighting it.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“Looks like you’ve done enough feasting for a lifetime,” snorted Pinocchio. He saw the whole table staring at him. “Did I say that out loud?”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“Mushrooms are fungus and fungus reminds me of feet and I don’t eat feet.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“Silence fell between the two couples. Even the Storian faltered, unsure who was defending who anymore. “Don’t mind me,” Rafal prodded, smiling. “Who needs a villain when you three have each other?”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After



“Reaper?” Tedros blurted. “If you think for one second I’m allowing that Satan-worshipper in my castle—” “Your castle? I thought it was our castle.” “Which means we get a pet we both like.” “No Reaper, no me.” “No you, then.” “You puffed-up, lily-livered, mule-headed—” Agatha stopped and saw Sophie goggling at the two of them. “I really am better off, aren’t I?” said Sophie. All three of them burst into laughter.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“Go ahead, laugh. You can name your children Blond and Blonder.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“I’m the prince and you’re the princess and rescuing our friend is my job. Just ask Merlin!” Tedros yelled, practically a shriek— “Yes, now you’ve got it, boy,” Merlin spouted, not looking as he trimmed his beard with a thorn. “Sound perfectly female now.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“Dot hurled her pizza at her, smacking Hester in the cheek. “Do you know how unfair that is, you contemptuous git! You made me gain weight in order to stay in the coven and now you’re making fun of me for it? Are you that insecure that you needed me to be fat to feel okay about yourself? Well, you picked the wrong piggy tail to pull, honey. I love myself no matter what I look like, so nothing you say to me will ever make me feel ugly again. Because unlike you, Hester, I’ll never be ugly inside.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“there were no more words, as tears streamed down their faces and mixed on their lips, the sugar and salt of love.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After



“it’s too early in the morning for goodbyes.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“I choose whether this world lives or dies. And I’m happy to watch it burn to dust if you expect a slave instead of a queen.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“the occasional bowl of bacon and beans (she couldn’t shake the cravings from her time as a boy).”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“Sometimes I wonder,” Merlin declared, licking a bit of mustard off his upper lip, “where exactly does the food come from? Is there a fourth dimension where a magic hat goes to fetch it? Or does it simply summon turkeys and bread out of thin air? In which case, what is this sandwich really made of?”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After


“To be in a world of magic and romance and Goodness and then robbed back into drab, pointless life seemed so.... wrong. I didn't belong in a cottage lane with fifteen houses exactly like mine. I couldn't marry some shopkeeper or cobbler's boy and slog at the bakery each day just to feed our children. I wanted to find real happiness where The End didn't mean getting old and useless and being crammed in a graveyard with everyone else.”
― Soman Chainani, quote from The Last Ever After



About the author

Soman Chainani
Born place: The United States
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