Screaming in the Silence

If a tree falls in the forest when no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? If I scream in the silence, will anyone be around to hear it?

All you care about is the control and power you have over me and I hate myself for giving that to you!

My feelings for Kaden, although confusing and admittedly self destructive, ran deeper than physical appearances. All the pain he caused me, all the terror I lived with, was nothing compared to the anxiety of not knowing what would happen if I were to find myself without him.

Could I really mean so much to this man? Could this mess of a human being in his arms be his everything?

Kaden still influenced almost everything I did. He was on my mind constantly yet I had learned to control him, push him to a corner where I could merely observe and feel his presence.

I love you, Kaden. Against my better judgement and sense, I love you and I'm making the conscious decision to keep loving you until the day I die.

Do you remember when time was working against us? When you said that our time together was limited? I needed you so desperately then. You protected me and gave me reason to hope, showed me that I was still human. I hated myself for giving you that dominance but at the end of the day, I know that it was what I needed... I needed to fall for you in order to save myself.

Its funny how something so scary and foreign can grow to feel so amazing. Think about you, loving you the way that I do, it used to be terrifying but now its almost liberating in a way. Does that make any sense?

Your enjoyment only adds to my pleasure, but don't forget that I'm forcing you to do this.

I was terrified of him but at the same time wanted him to desire me. I wanted him to care for me and protect me.