Quotes from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“Ladies, let me give you some advice. You can throw all your stupid fucking chick-lit, self-help, why-doesn't-he-love-me books out, because this is all you need to know: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as "deserving" respect; you get what you demand from people.. if you demand respect, he will either respect you or he won't associate with you. It really is that simple.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“8:58 We go to McDonald's. The woman in front of me in line spends more than five seconds contemplating her order. This infuriates me, "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?? MC-SEABASS?? IT'S THE GODDAMN MCDONALDS'S MENU, IT'S BEEN THE SAME FOR TEN YEARS! IT'S ALL MCSHIT!JUST ORDER!”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“She is trying to convince me that she never does this and is not that type of girl. It was difficult for me to understand. Her enunciation wasn’t very good with my dick in her mouth.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me"
Tucker: "I don't understand the question.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: "Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“Ladies let me give you some advice: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as “deserving” respect; you get what you demand from people,”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“I’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“FK THAT. I AM TUCKER MAX. I AM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“Girl3 "You don't have to be a jerk"
SlingBlade "Quite the contrary, my sloppy penile scholar.Order me another drink and be quick about it.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“she was quite promiscuous, to the point where dating her was similar to the experience of sitting on a warm toilet seat:”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“SlingBlade: “If you EVER speak ill of the McGriddle again I will personally force-feed you one while I fuck you in the butt using the wrapper as a condom and then donkey punch you when the infused syrup nuggets explode in your mouth.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“Did you hear the nonsensical prattle spewing from her pie-hole?”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“I bought a liter of Everclear, a quart of Gatorade, and a can of Red Bull, and poured all of it into my CamelBak. I come prepared. We arrive at the lacrosse house, and I begin sucking back the Everclear/Gatorade/Red Bull mixture, which I will hereafter refer to as “Tucker Death Mix.” It tasted like ghetto romance. It was awesome.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“porn stars are only objects for our sexual gratification, not real people.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“If you EVER speak ill of the McGriddle again I will personally force-feed you one while I fuck you in the butt using the wrapper as a condom and then donkey punch you when the infused syrup nuggets explode in your mouth.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“Let’s just say that it did not end well. Things were thrown, curses hurled, none of the three ever came over again, and I had to recruit a whole new stable of booty calls. Maybe a better man than me could have turned that night into something out of Penthouse Letters, but all I did was end up with my dick in my hand and a mess in my apartment.”
― Tucker Max, quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

About the author

Popular quotes

“He seems so drugged up and slow. I miss his laughter, his impulsiveness, his wacky sense of humour, even his obsessive practicing. It makes me wonder who he actually is. If the old Flynn was ill – courtesy of a chemical imbalance in the brain – is this lithiumed Flynn the real MyCoy? Or perhaps both characters are just facets of a hidden, deeper soul that I have yet to meet. I just don’t know. Sometimes I fear that the drug-free Flynn searingly manic, then catastrophically depressed – is who he really is. But because in that form he is not acceptable to conventional society, he has to be drugged so that his emotions are tempered and his behavior controlled. Perhaps we are blindly living in an Orwellian society where individualism is feared and the biggest pressure is the one to conform. Perhaps Flynn is sane and the rest of the world is mad. The thoughts go round and round in my head.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, quote from A Voice in the Distance

“Maybe all the secrets of life were written on the surface of leaves, waiting to be translated. If I touched them long enough, I might be given some information no one else had.”
― Silas House, quote from A Parchment of Leaves

“Dude, the bush is ready. Why you still beating around it?”
“I’ve lived a long time, kid, and I’ve never heard anyone mutilate the English language quite like you.”
― Karen Marie Moning, quote from Iced

“I like 'fresh fruit flan'," said the donkey. "Three excellent words."
"I don't have one," said Noah immediately before the question could even be asked, and the donkey opened his eyes wide in suprise, and for a moment Noah wondered whether he might even consider eating him.”
― John Boyne, quote from Noah Barleywater Runs Away

“Do you prefer to be on top or bottom?”
“I prefer whatever makes you yell louder when I fuck you harder than you’ve ever been fucked.”
― Vi Keeland, quote from Belong to You

Interesting books

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.