“Who are you talking to?”
“Myself.”
“You do that a lot.”
“I know. I’m the only one who understands me.”
“You’re my favorite way to pass the time. But time stands still when you’re on my mind.”
“Silence is kind of awkward, don’t you think?” he said.
Oh. Or not. “No. I’m okay with silence. We’re in a library after all. This is the birthplace of silence.”
“The library is the birthplace of silence?” David asked.
“All the words are being used by the books. When I was little, that’s what I used to think. That people were told to be quiet so that all their words didn’t get stolen by the books. I thought books needed words to exist. Well, obviously they do, but I thought they needed spoken words. Yeah … I was always weird.”
“And here I thought libraries were quiet because people were trying to study,” David whispered.
“That might be another explanation.”
“Words brought us together though they almost kept us apart.
You trusted me with your secrets and then you stole my heart.
They say that love is rare, like …
“What’s rare?” I asked.
“What?” His eyes lifted from the page and met mine.
“What are some things that are rare?”
“Meat?”
I laughed. “We’re more alike than you know.”
“You claim you want to be heard.
So you write your hollow words.
You fill your life with deception.
Because it’s all about perception.
The world sees you one way.
And they listen to all you say.
You crave their attention.
To feed your addiction.
You have two sides.
Two faces.
You’re trying to hide.
In two places.”
“Oh, also, if Mr. Ortega catches me writing you this letter, I am committed to shoving it in my mouth and swallowing. I hope I can count on the same commitment from you.”
“Words brought us together though they almost kept us apart.
You trusted me with your secrets and then you stole my heart.”
“I nodded toward Cade’s wrist. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fun. I get a man bracelet.”
I smiled. “I don’t think you get to keep it. She’s just using you as her model.”
“Her model?”
“It’s a fact, not a compliment.”
“Because if you gave me a compliment you might have a stroke.”
I laughed. “Probably not a stroke, but my brain would definitely revolt in some way.”
He didn’t laugh along with me, just looked at the cording on his wrist.
“Oh, stop, you don’t need me to tell you that you’re hot to know that it’s true.”
“Are you okay? Did that hurt your head?” Cade asked.
I kicked his foot with mine and he laughed.
“So you think I’m hot?” Cade’s eyes sparkled.
“Doesn’t every girl?”
It surprised me when his cheeks turned a light shade of pink. I wasn’t sure why that embarrassed him in any way. I was positive he already knew it. He ran one hand through his hair. Then he said, almost too quiet for me to hear, “You’re not every girl.”
“It’s easy to judge not knowing the truth
Only seeing carefully built walls.
It’s hard to undo years written in youth
But how amazing when the tower finally falls.
And I see you standing there
All sweet and kind of scared.
And you see me standing here.
Hope in my eyes but full of fear.”
“I guess everyone wants what they don’t have.”
“You have me under your spell.
With all the secrets you tell.
I can’t make it stop.
Please don’t let it stop.
You have me under your spell.
If you knew me as well,
You would make it stop.
I can’t let it stop.”
“But then I think: my guitar is just a thing. You know? And my brother is a person. A thing is not more important than a person...”
“I’m with you on measuring this week in letters and the two-day drought we are about to experience. If only there was a way to transport letters faster, through some sort of electronic device that codes messages and sends them through the air. But that’s just crazy talk.
Friday from me:
Sending letters through the sky? Like when airplanes attach notes to their tails? I thought they only advertised for going-out-of-business sales. But perhaps our letters would be okay up there as well. I wonder how much they charge per word.”
“If a penny can bring luck and a dime can grant a wish, how come my eleven cents hasn’t bought me what I need.”
“You should look into catching rabbits for a living. You’re not half bad at it.”
He smiled. “That would be almost as manly as becoming a cowboy.”
“See that?”
“No.”
“Exactly. Earlier there was a big, huge food chunk right here.” She pointed at her front tooth. “And nobody told me. Nobody. Oh wait, Mark told me after I’d been talking to him for five minutes.”
I laughed.
“You would’ve told me, right? Tricia should have told me. It’s girl code. I think Tricia likes Mark, too. That’s the problem here.”
“Maybe she didn’t see the food.”
“Lil, people on the space station saw this chunk of food. It was massive. And right on my front tooth.”
“That was rude of the people on the space station not to tell you about it.”
“Ha-ha.”
“I tucked the keys into my pocket so they wouldn’t jingle and rushed back outside. Once out, I picked up my pace to a run. I was not a runner. I did not like to run. But I ran like I meant it.
Maybe I should’ve joined the cross-country team after all because I wasn’t half bad at this. For about one stretch of sidewalk. By the time I made it to the Science building, I had cursed not only the entire cross-country team, but the sport as a whole. I had a cramp that was sending a painful jolt up my side and I could barely breathe.”
“I folded the letter and carefully placed it back in its spot. Now I had to wait twenty-four hours for a response. This was so much less gratifying than texting.”
“Isabel dug her hands into the bin of Legos next to her. “We should have a ship-building competition.”
“Yes,” Gabriel said. “I am the King of Legos.”
“Is that a self-proclaimed title or one that was appointed?” I asked.
Isabel laughed.
Gabriel acted offended. “Appointed, of course.” He joined us on the floor and scooped out a handful of Legos. “By my father.”
“Until then I’m going to eat an entire bucket of Rolos and slip into a food coma.”
“Do Rolos cause food comas? All that sugar would produce the opposite effect, don’t you think?” she asked as though I was seriously going to eat an entire bucket of Rolos.
“After the high there would surely be a crash.”
“But that would take too long.”
“You’re right. Thank goodness you’ve talked some sense into me.”
“Another reason you keep me around.”
“One of a million.”
“I heard a noise on the back patio and opened the door. The rabbit was there in a black metal cage. It was big, not some fluffy little ball of fur, but a big, ugly rabbit. It stood on its hind legs and sniffed the air.
“Yes, you smell that,” I told the rabbit. “That’s the smell of your enemy. Get a good whiff. We are not friends.” It could probably smell the apple I still held, not me. I bit off a piece and threw it into the cage, sending it a very mixed message considering the speech I’d given. “Just keeping you on your toes.”
“Who are you talking to”
“When I was dating, my girlfriends and I used to say, ‘Don’t cry in front of him before date three.’ ”
“Cry?” I echoed, frowning.
“Yeah. Guys gets skittish when you cry.”
“I don’t think I have to worry about that one.”
“You don’t cry?”
“I don’t make it to date three.”
“I’m going to make a man bracelet. Let me see your wrist.”
“Double with me and Gabriel next Friday!” Isabel announced suddenly. “I’ll find you a date.”
“Pass.”
“Come on. It’s been a while since you’ve been on a date.”
“That’s because I’m awkward and weird and it’s not fun at all for me or the poor soul who agrees to go out with me.”
“That’s not true.”
I crossed my arms.
“You just need to go out more than once … or twice … with someone so they see how fun you are,” Isabel argued, adjusting her backpack straps. “You’re not awkward withme.”
“I’m totally awkward with you but you’re not under pressure to eventually kiss me, so you put up with it.”
“I get too self-conscious. Especially about things that mean a lot to me. I feel like if I hold things close, never share, then I never give anyone the opportunity to judge me.”
“I’ve turned waiting into a form of art. Tied twisted lines around my broken heart. To keep me hanging on for one more day. I’ve painted on a crooked smile. Hung the tears to dry awhile. Because I knew that you’d come back to stay. But my … arms are empty. And my … heart’s in pieces. And my … soul is twisting. And my … throat is aching. Because I’ve finally woken up to find: That I’ve been Left Behind. The”
“Sometimes I wish I were passionate about something real. Something I knew I could succeed in. Right now all my dreams are a little far-fetched.”
“I feel like if I hold things close, never share, then I never give anyone the opportunity to judge me.”
“You think songwriting is a realistic dream? That was a joke, right? Like you said, it’s hard to tell from a letter. But yes, I am passionate about it. Now, if only I could actually write a complete song, I might feel like I could call myself a songwriter. For now, I’m just a far-fetched dreamer like you. It might stay that way until I get out of my house. It’s impossible to write there. What”
“All I had to do was rise up on my tiptoes and our lips met. He tasted like mint gum and all my hopes and dreams. Well, not all of them, but a lot of them.”
“guess, but I figured that was just a coincidence. I mean, Glinda and Elphaba we’re not.” She leaned forward, her eyes sparkling. “But I could totally get my Glinda on if you think it’ll get us out of here faster.” Not in the mood for one of her Wicked sing-alongs, I shot my best friend a dirty look as”
“It was a feeling which stayed with him after he got back home to his terrace house on the Kristianstad road. When he had finished his dinner and played with his children for a while, he went out with the dog. Martinsson lived in the neighbourhood, so he decided to stop by and tell he and Noren had seen. The dog was a Labrador bitch and Martinsson had asked recently if he could join the waiting list for puppies.”
“I’ll fucking teach you,” he said heatedly. “The way you taught me.” He kissed along her jaw, his breath ragged with need, his cock hard for her again. “I’ll fucking help you.” He nuzzled at her neck and her fingers clawed in his hair. “Are you listening to me, baby?” He moved back to her mouth, plunging his tongue deep for a thorough taste, then pulling up. “Are you listening?” He looked deep into her tear filled eyes. “Broken or whole… you’re all mine. You… are all mine.”
“She means the world to me, and nothing will ever change that.”
“This boy did not take steps. He glided like a shark through the water. And like the sea, the members of the Black Clan parted around him”
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