Plum Spooky

I hate mornings. They start so early.

Truth is, I'm a good Catholic girl. The faith has always been elusive, but the guilt is intractable.

I have bad car juju." -Stephanie Plum

[Stephanie] That's not the point. I can't just let monkeys loose in Trenton. [Lula] Why not? There's all kinds of crazy shit loose in Trenton.

Ranger’s gonna hate this,” Tank said. “Better to get shot than to have to explain the gate. Bad enough I got a horse that smells like his shower gel.

He doesn’t look very smart,” Diesel said. “He’s not even giving me the finger.” “Can monkey’s do that?” Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. “Cool!” Hal said.

I’ll be real discreet,” Tank said. As discreet as a six-foot-six, no-neck guy weighing three hundred and fifty pounds, all dressed in black SWAT clothes, with a Glock holstered at his side could be.

Have you eaten?' I asked Diesel. When?' Recently.' No.

Stephanie Plum, off-road warrior. Now this was the way it should be, I thought. Taking action. Hauling ass in the woods behind Diesel. Well, okay – truthfully, I wanted to be in front of Diesel. I wanted to ride point, lead the charge, be the big kahuna. Unfortunately, Diesel was the one who’d memorized the aerial map. And he was supposedly the one with super senses. ‘Big whoop-de-do, super senses,’ I said. ‘I heard that,’ Diesel yelled back to me. ‘No, you didn’t.’ ‘Yes. I did.

Diesel is back," Ranger said. Yes. How did you know?" I woke uo with a migraine this morning," Ranger said.

And from where I was sitting his ass looked like little Bear's bed...not too hard, and not too soft, but just right.

Think of this as an adventure, Diesel said. I’m from Jersey. I get my adventure on the Turnpike.

Your monkey was looking under the stall doors in the ladies' room,' I told Diesel. 'That's my boy,' Diesel said.

My skill level is so high I do things I don’t even try to do.

Yeah. My skill level is so high I do things I don’t even try to do.

I swear,” Hal said, “this place is like the Bermuda Triangle. It’s friggin’ spooky. I went out to feed the monkeys last night, and I saw the Easter Bunny walking down the road with Sasquatch. And now there are rockets shooting into the sky from nowhere.

I’m a glass-is-half-full person now, and your sorry ass is still in half-empty country.

What did you do?” “Blew up a fuel depot, stole twelve rockets and made off with them in a stolen van, got kidnapped by a maniac, and had dinner with a guy who farted fire.” “That would be funny, but I’m worried it’s all true.” “It’s been a long couple days.” “Did he really fart fire?” Morelli asked.

How’s it going?” Morelli wanted to know. “It’s average. Stole a truck. Blew up a house. Brought seven monkeys home with me. And now I have a naked man in my shower.” “Yeah, same ol’, same ol’,” Morelli said.

haunches, looking dejected. “Where’s the other monkey?” I asked him. Carl looked up. The monkey was in a tree. “What’s he doing there?” Carl shrugged. “This was a stupid idea,” I said to Diesel. “Yeah, but at least you walked off your sausage-and-egg sandwich. It would have gone straight to your ass.” “I’m going back to Gail’s house, and then